Lost in a Haze
by bookworm722
Summary: Katniss is picked up by the Capitol in Catching Fire and Peeta is rescued by the rebels.  How far will he go to save her?  What will Katniss suffer in the Capitol?This story will go all the way through Mockingjay and beyond. Rated T, but maybe M later.
1. Chapter 1

**Lost in the Haze**

Hello everyone! This is my first fanfiction story. I am obsessed with The Hunger Games books and I was just playing around with the idea of Katniss being captured by the Capitol at the end of Catching Fire and Peeta being rescued by the rebels. I hope you enjoy it! Please review!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of the Hunger Games or the characters. I am just using the characters and some book situations to make a nice fanfic. Love the books!

**Chapter 1 – Peeta's Perspective**

I scramble down the hill closest to where Katniss used to be. All I know is that I have to find her. I hear her voice calling for me in the distance. I limp as quickly as my leg will allow. Then I begin to run. Her voice is growing closer and I need to get to her, to hold her in my arms and save her. I always have to save her. She was willing to sacrifice her life for me and I am not going to allow it to happen. My life will be a void of nothingness without her in it. I want her to live a long and happy life. I run as fast as my leg will allow over to her. "KATNISS?" I call out to her wanting to get a response. "PEETA!" I hear her scream of terror and then I finally push through a few trees and I catch sight of her in the distance. I see her sink to her knees as lighting falls around me. I make out a hovercraft above her, and I push myself faster not even allowing myself a breath. Katniss sees the hovercraft and tries to run towards me. "Peeta, run away!" She is screaming for me to run in the opposite direction away from her, away from the danger.

Not a chance in hell am I letting her out of my sight.

I have almost reached her when the hovercraft grasps her and yanks her upward. I make a grab for her hand that is just out of my reach. The hovercraft pulls her up and away from me. "NO! NO!" I scream out as loudly as I can. "Take me instead! TAKE ME!" The hovercraft ignores me and flies away. I fall to my knees, ignoring the pain in my leg. "No, no, please…" Tears fill my eyes and make my vision blurry. Finnick sinks down beside me and lays Beetee on the ground beside us. I cannot look at Finnick or Beetee right now. I blame them for this. I should have listened to Katniss. I should have agreed to break away with her away from them.

"They took Johanna, too." Finnick manages to choke out. Feeling like a terrible person it doesn't even bother me. I cannot think about anyone but the woman I love. My mockingjay.

Another hovercraft appears above us and ensnares the three of us, dragging us up into the air. I don't even try to fight it. I want to go to the Capitol and save Katniss. I have no other thoughts except of her and her survival.

Once inside the hovercraft I am shocked to see Haymitch and Plutarch Heavensbee staring at us. Finnick doesn't seem that surprised.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Haymitch helps me to my feet. "We rescued you, Peeta. We are headed back to District 13 to strategize on how to overthrow the Capitol."

I don't give a damn about the rebellion right now. I ask the only question that is plaguing my mind. "Where is she? Where is Katniss?"

Haymitch looks down and I swear tears stand out in his eyes. "The Capitol took her before we could save her."

I don't even think about what I am doing. I lunge at Haymitch and get in a few quick punches before attendants pull me off of him.

"You son of a bitch! We had a deal, Haymitch! We had a deal! You promised me! You promised me!" I struggle against the guards and feel a needle go into my arm. Blackness takes over and I fall into a black hole of sorrow holding onto to only one thought. _ I have to save her. I have to save Katniss._


	2. Chapter 2

Lost in the Haze

Chapter 2

I wake up in a small, white room in a hospital bed. I am alone. I am all alone. I sit up slowly and try to take in my surroundings and clear my head. _Where is Katniss? Where?_ Then I remember. The Capitol has her. They took her away from me. I want her back. Haymitch enters with his arms raised in surrender. I want to throttle him, but I stay seated on the hospital bed.

"Just listen to me, okay?" Haymitch is trying to reason with me. I nod my head tightly. Rage has filled my entire being and I want to kill him. My feelings shock me. I am usually not a violent person, but I am not the same man I was just a few hours ago.

Haymitch continues, "We were going to rescue all of you, but as soon as Katniss took out that force field the Capitol swooped in and picked her up. They anticipated our rescue and they took her and Johanna to the Capitol before we could save her."

I don't care how he feels. I don't care how bad he feels at all. I cannot even look at the man who has lied to Katniss and I more times than I can count. He has made us a piece in his games. He had been working with the rebels this entire time. He had played Katniss and I. Made us both believe that one of us would have to die in that arena when we didn't even have to feel that way. I say the only thing I care about saying to this traitor in front of me. "We have to save her. We have to get her back."

Haymitch approaches me and sits next to me on the hospital bed. I know that whatever he is going to tell me is going to destroy me. "Peeta, we don't know how to get her back."

I push him off my bed and he falls to the floor with his hands above his head to block a punch. I don't punch him, but I come after him and then I am held back by two guards who appear suddenly as I scream at Haymitch cowering on the floor. "NO! NO! We have to save her! We can't abandon her!" A doctor walks into the room and I feel the needle in my arm and I drift off once again as I fall into darkness. Into my nightmares.

When I awaken there is a small, dignified woman sitting in the small chair in front of my bed. Plutarch Heavensbee is standing beside her along with Haymitch.

"Hello, Peeta."

"I want Katniss."

"My name is President Coin. I am in charge of District 13. We rescued you because we think you are very valuable. We need you to be the face of this rebellion."

The woman has no emotion or feeling in her voice. She is pathetic and I don't care about helping her at all. "I am not going to help you until you rescue Katniss."

Plutarch steps forward, but sees my rage and steps back slightly. "Could you appear on television for her? An emotional appeal of love? The audience would love it! What a great love story that would be for the rebels to feast on!"

I am standing up and about to punch him into next week when Haymitch steps between us. "Peeta, you want to help Katniss?"

I nod.

"What if there is some way for her to see your appeal? Think of what it would mean to her."

My hands clench into fists at my sides, but I know I am going to try. If Katniss has a chance to hear me then I am going to try. I have to try.

I am led to a small room with a comfy couch and a reporter named Cressida introduces herself to me. She explains that she will be the one to interview me.

"So, Peeta, how are you?"

"No stupid questions," I manage to say through clenched teeth.

"As you wish. I cannot even imagine how you must feel right now. What are you concerned about?"

"Katniss. I have no other thoughts except to save my love. I just can't even imagine what she is going through right now."

Suddenly, the television behind Cressida comes alive with a bulletin from the Capitol. I rise slowly from the couch I had been sitting on and go to stand close to the television. I see Caesar on the screen and my heart leaps into my throat as I also see Katniss in the small room. She looks haggard and worn, but she is alive. She is alive!


	3. Chapter 3

Lost in the Haze

Chapter 3

Caesar looks sympathetically at Katniss and sighs deeply before he questions her. "So, Katniss, how are you holding up?"

Katniss shakes her head and looks down. She still looks for beautiful that my heart rate picks up speed. "I guess I am confused."

Caesar nods sympathetically and puts his hand on top of her hand. She slowly and carefully draws her hand away and tucks her hands in her lap in a protective stance. I am instantly alerted to how introverted she is acting. How scared she is. "Of course you are confused, dear Katniss. Of course. Did you have any idea that Peeta was working with the rebels the entire time?" Anger flows through my veins and I sigh my eyes transfixed on Katniss.

"He wasn't."

"He was dear, he was. He left you in the arena."  
>"No, I left him to set the trap for the Careers. He was waiting for me." She sounds sure.<p>

"But was he there when you came back?"

She frowns and her eyes flash with anger. "No, he was looking for me."

"We both know that is untrue, Katniss. How does it feel to be abandoned by your fiancé in the arena? How does it feel to know the man you love doesn't want you and didn't want your baby?"

Katniss is still angry, but tears seep out of her eyes. I long to hold her close, to touch her.

"He didn't abandon me. He was looking for me. He loves me."

"Well Katniss, you have been examined by Capitol doctors. We now know that you are no longer pregnant."

"I guess I lost the baby in the arena."

"I am sorry for you, but we both know who's fault that is."

"This is not Peeta's fault. None of it. He didn't know what the rebels were planning. He was going to sacrifice himself to save my life and the life of our child."

"Is there anything you would like to say to Peeta now?" I barely register that Finnick and Gale are in the room with him now. I cannot tear my eyes away from the television. What are they doing to her?

"Yes. Peeta, don't try to rescue me. It is a trap. Live your life. Fall in love. Forget about me." I know it is not what they wanted her to say. She has gone against what they had planned for her to say. She has done it to protect me, but they are anything but pleased. Casear tries to cut in, but she yells above him to make her voice heard. "They will never let me go! They are coming after Thirteen tonight!"

She is cut off as I see her knocked from her chair by a peacekeeper. I see her blood splatter on the carpet in the small room as she is beaten by him. She is still screaming for me to run away when she is kicked in the stomach and falls silent. The screen fades to black. I don't realize that the scream I hear is my own. Tears run unchecked down my cheeks as I turn to Gale who hurries out of the room and yells down the hall.

"Begin lockdown procedures! Katniss was trying to warn us! We are in grave danger!" President Coin comes over the intercom to begin lockdown procedures. Finnick grabs my arm and leads me down into the fallout shelters below ground. I cannot focus on anything. I keep hearing her screams of pain. I keep seeing her blood stain the carpet. Finnick maneuverers us into his compartment and sits down beside me on the mattress.

"I know how you feel, Peeta."

Anger courses through my veins. "How could you possibly know how I feel?"

"They have my Annie." I dimly remember Annie Cresta, Finnick's love that Katniss told me about in the arena. "They won't kill her, Peeta. Just like they won't kill my Annie."

"What makes you so sure?"

"They will do whatever it takes to break you."

I nod as I finally understand his words. They will torture her, beat her, and do whatever they want to do to her to render my useless – to break me. Katniss is my life. I have made that fact public knowledge. To think all I wanted was to help her and now my affection for her had put her in the worst possible situation. It may get her killed. "Finnick, are you broken?"

"Yes." He tells me in a soft, quick tone.

I feel broken, too.


	4. Chapter 4

Lost in a Haze

**Thank you for the reviews! Keep them coming! Here is the next chapter. I will probably post a couple tonight. I hope you enjoy them!**

Chapter 4

The bombs rain down on us in the fallout shelter. I realize I cannot sit still so I start to wander around. I see Prim and her mother huddled up with Buttercup on her lap. She smiles at me. I try to smile back, but I can't. She walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. I squeeze her tightly. Katniss's most precious sister. The sister she would die to protect. I promise myself that I will protect her for Katniss until we get her back.

"I'm so sorry. I am sorry I didn't protect her." My voice breaks on the last word and Prim lets go of me and smiles sadly.

"Don't count her out yet. She is a fighter. She won't go down without one hell of a fight."

I manage a small smile. "How did you get here? Why aren't you in District 12?"

"There is no more District 12, Peeta. The Capitol bombed it. Gale managed to save a few hundred of us by herding us into the meadow."

My heart drops. "My family?"

She looks down and tears fill her eyes. "I am sorry, Peeta. They wouldn't come with us. They must have died."

I feel the tears cloud my vision and step back slightly shaking my head as if to clear it. My mother. My brothers. My father. I would miss my father and my brothers. I wish I could say I would miss my mother, but I don't know that I will.

Prim continues her story. "Gale went back to District 12 with a camera crew two days ago and did a dedication to 'Katniss, the mockingjay.'"

I feel terrible for the feelings that course through me but I can't stop them. The jealousy eats through my stomach. I want to help Katniss. I want my words to reach her.

I walk back to Finnick's section, but on the way back I pass Gale. Gale looks at him in anger and Peeta understands his feelings.

"You were supposed to protect her."

"I know." He's right. I don't know what else to say. I have no excuses.

"I'm sorry about your family."

I nod and my throat closed up so as I could not speak.

"I want to do an interview for Katniss."

Gale nods. "Good idea."

I nod and walk away. It is uncomfortable to talk with Gale about anything, especially the woman we both love.

I am sitting on the same couch with Cressida ready to interview me.

"So, Peeta, what would you like to say to the Capitol?"

I take a deep breath and begin. "I am only going to warn the Capitol once. Katniss Everdeen, the mockingjay, is the face of this rebellion. She is the reason everyone is rebelling. Her strength, tenacity, and courage inspire all around her. She is strong, beautiful, and powerful. She is my whole world. If the Capitol destroys her or hurts her again in any other way – it will be the end of you all. You will sign your death sentence. Katniss, I love you. I will not rest until you are by my side again. Be brave, my love." My voice catches and I look down briefly to swipe at the tears that have fallen onto my cheeks. I have to continue.

"To the Capitol, release Katniss Everdeen or the Capitol will burn! President Snow, I will kill you myself if she is harmed again. You are always so full of threats, well now so am I. You do not want to find out how far I will go for the woman I love."

Cressida tells the cameraman to stop recording and smiles at me. I get up quietly and leave the room. I didn't even know that Gale had been in the room with me until he approaches me once we are outside.

"Peeta."

I turn around to face him. "What?"

"We will get her back."

"For who?"

"For all of us."


	5. Chapter 5

Lost in a Haze

Chapter 5

My interview airs that evening. The next day, the Capitol responds. I am in the control room with Haymitch, Gale, and Finnick when Katniss and Caesar appear on the television. I can feel my heart drop to the floor. She looks worse. Much worse. Her entire body is shaking violently. Her eyes dart around nervously. She is absolutely terrified. She moves very slowly as if in a great deal of pain.

Caesar begins the conversation. "So, Katniss, is there anyone you would like to address from back at home?"

She is still shaking and mumbles incoherently. I hear Gale's angry gasp and Finnick puts his hand on my shoulder to steady me. She shakes her head, refusing to speak. Refusing to play by their pathetic rules.

Caesar tries again. "Are you sure? Is there anyone you care about that may be watching?"

"Peeta." The word is whispered through her lips and my entire body starts shaking.

"What makes you care for the man who abandoned you to this torment?"

Her face shows a light trace of anger. "He didn't."

"He did, Katniss. You have seen the tapes. You have read his letters."

My mind is in overdrive. _What in the hell are they talking about? What tapes? What letters?_

"You made those up." She sounds certain.

"What about his silence towards you now? Why doesn't he try to save you?"

Her shoulders slump and she speaks as though she is very tired. "I told him not to save me. I want him to live his life. I don't want him to waste his life on me."

Caesar continues to press her. "What about Gale? How do you feel about him?"

She pulls her knees up to her chest slowly and starts rocking back and forth with her hands covering her ears. "Please, stop, please."

"Where is your family, Katniss? Who is responsible for that?"

She starts sobbing and I feel tears leak out of my eyes as well. "Please, just stop. "

Caesar continues unfazed. "Peeta has moved on. Gale has moved on. Your family has moved on. What are you going to do now, Katniss?"

"What do you mean?" Her voice is a choked whisper.

"Who are you going to support in this war?"

This is where he has been trying to lead her, but I see she is not going to take the bait.  
>"I support those I love."<p>

"They no longer care for you. Peeta is the face of the rebellion now. He has fallen in love with someone else."

You can tell they have told her this before because she is shaking her head before he even finishes talking. "No."

Caesar acts surprised. "No?"

"You all lie. Just leave me alone."

Katniss huddles up in a ball again and rocks back and forth with her hands over her ears mumbling to herself. President Snow appears on camera. You can still see Katniss behind him in her chair.

"Is this who you want to follow? A mentally inept young woman who has been abandoned by those who claim to love her? Is this the face of a strong rebellion?"

Snow's voice pushes me over the edge. I watch as the television fades to darkness and then I snap. I throw a chair at the television shattering the screen.

"What are they doing to her?" I am screaming and I can't stop it. I don't want to stop it. Finnick tries to grab my arm, but Gale holds him back as I pick up another chair and throw it across the room, damaging some type of camera equipment that I could care less about. "Why are they doing this to her?"

The door opens and President Coin enters the room. "We need to fight, Peeta. Now."

I shake my head no. "You rescue Katniss and then I will help you in any way you need me to help you."

Coin nods, expecting this. "I am going to send in an extraction team to rescue Katniss, Annie, and Johanna. We need Katniss for this rebellion to work."

Her voice is cold, calculated. I know she doesn't give a damn about Katniss, but she needs her to win the war. I nod knowing this is the chance to save her.

Gale volunteers to go with the group to get Katniss. I want to go, but they deny me the chance. I have never been known for my fighting abilities.

I wait two days for the team to return. When they appear at the entrance I stand quickly. I had been sleeping in the entry way for two days and no one has bothered me. I wanted to see her. I wanted to be there for her when she came back to me. Annie runs in and embraces Finnick who has been camped out beside me. They are kissing like there is no tomorrow. It doesn't appear the Capitol had harmed the poor girl and for that I am grateful. Johanna is carried in, unconscious. Then I see another guard carrying Katniss into the compound. Gale follows. It is obvious he has been crying the entire ride back.

I question him immediately. "What's wrong?"

Gale looks me right in the eye as more tears course down his already saturated cheeks. "They had to sedate her. She wouldn't let us near her. She wouldn't let me touch her."

My blood runs cold. _She didn't want to see Gale? What had they done to her?_

**PLEASE REVIEW! LIKE IT? HATE IT? LOVE IT? LET ME KNOW! THANK YOU FOR READING!**


	6. Chapter 6

Lost in a Haze

**Thank you for reviewing! Here is Chapter 6!**

Chapter 6

I go into the small room and sit next to Katniss as she lies on her hospital bed sleeping fitfully. I reach out and take her hand, holding it tightly in my own. She looks so small and broken. Tears fall helplessly down my cheeks as I gaze down at the only woman I will ever love. I examine her with my eyes as she sleeps. There are hundreds of needle marks all over both her arms. Her arms are bruised and there is skin under her fingernails. I knew she would fight them. Even with all these injuries, she is still the most beautiful woman I will ever know. She stirs then and opens her eyes slowly. She finally looks at me. Confusion fills her eyes and then fear.

I speak gently trying not to alarm her. "Katniss, it's me."

She pulls her hand away and hopes off the bed and pushes herself into a corner. I move slowly towards her. "Sweetheart, it's Peeta."

She gives me an odd look. "Peeta?" Her voice is full of emotion.

"Yes."

Her eyes flash with emotion, but then go flat, lifeless. "Why did you rescue me?"

This surprises me. "What?"

"I don't want to watch you with someone else."

"I'm not with anyone else!" How could she even think that?

Her voice starts to shake and she begins to tremble as fresh tears slip down her cheeks. "You…you abandoned me to be with her."

"No!"

"You never really loved me."

"I do love you!"

"She came to see me. Did you know that? So you can quit lying to me. She showed me pictures of the two of you together!" She is angry now too and is yelling at me. I have no idea what she is talking about. Who is she talking about?

"Who?"

"Marie."

"Who in the hell is Marie?"

"She was in the arena with us, I think. She is the reason the Capitol took me. You chose her and told them to take me away so you could be happy without me."

Tears clog my throat. My heart hurts. I move closer to her and she holds her hand in front of her to stop me from touching her.

"Katniss, that is not true. Do you hear me? It is not-"

"I was never good enough for you anyway. You deserve someone who is – worthy of you and all you offer."

"STOP IT!" Now I am screaming at her, but I can't help it.

"I could never be honest about how I feel about you. I was terrified to want you. To need you. I was afraid to deal with my feelings because I didn't want to get hurt. Then they showed me the tapes…"

"What tapes?"

"You were going to kill me. You asked Finnick how to do it."

"No, Katniss, please…listen to me."

"You said you didn't need me anymore. I wasn't worth it."

"I NEVER –"

"You said I was never good enough for you to marry!" She screams it out and then drops her hand and buries her face in her knees and sobs. I can't help it. I reach out and wrap my arms around her. She fights me at first, but then she hears me sob and stops fighting me. I hug her as tightly as I can. I need to end both our agonies.

"I never said any of those things. I've never loved anyone but you my whole life."

She stops shaking and doesn't pull away from me. She is completely still in my arms.

Her small voice is so full of vulnerability that my heart aches. "Now I know you are lying. No one could ever love me, Peeta."

She pulls away from me and walks over to one of the medical carts and grabs a razor. Before I can even process what she is doing she passes it over her wrist and blood starts dripping on the pale tiles.

"NO!" I grab her and force her to drop the razor in her hand. She fights me hard, but I cling to her. I rip off the bottom part of my shirt and wrap it around her wrist to staunch the bleeding.

She begins to whimper. "Please Peeta, I can't live like this. If you ever loved me at all, let me go. I can't live while you are with someone else."

I pull her close to me and whisper in her ear. "I don't love someone else. I don't."

The doctors come into the room and as soon as she sees the syringe she starts thrashing again to get away. "No, please. I'll be good. Please no more of those. I can't handle anymore of the memories. I would rather die than hurt that much! Peeta, please stop them. I can't take it anymore!" I sob as I hold her still for them and I see the look of betrayal on her face. The drugs take effect quickly and she passes out. I caress her pale face. Even unconscious she looks – haunted.

The doctors tell me she will be out for a while, but I refuse to leave her. I lay down next to her on the narrow bed and whisper to her over and over again.

"I love you, Katniss. I love you. I have never loved anyone else and I never will."

I must fall asleep, but Katniss's scream wakes me up. I see that she is still asleep, but in the midst of a nightmare.

"No, please. Don't leave me here. Please Please." She is whimpering as I gently shake her awake. Her eyes open wide and focus on me. She starts shaking uncontrollably. "Why did you stay with me?"

I push a strand of hair out of her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere. I am never going to leave you again."

She sits up shakily and stands up slowly backing into a corner.

"Do you want to see anyone else, Katniss?"

She shakes her head no.

"Gale is here." I don't even get to feel jealous. She freezes and more anger than I have ever seen is evident in her features. Her voice is full of rage.

"Gale is dead to me."

Shock fills me. "Why?"

She looks at me with hate filled eyes. "Because Peeta. He killed my sister."

Please review! I hope you loved it!


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate it! I hope you like the next installment. REVIEW PLEASE!

Chapter 7

I stand up shocked and stare down at Katniss. "Prim is not dead, Katniss."

She screams at me and stands up as well. "I saw the tapes! He blew up District 12 to incite rebellion! He didn't go back to save my sister and my mother! I watched them burn! It was all on television. I saw it!"

"No, Katniss. They are both in District 12."

I reach out and touch her shoulder and she shrugs me off quickly and backs even further away from me. "You really want me gone don't you?" Her voice is eerily calm.

"What?"

"Go back to Marie. No more lies. No more memories."

"Katniss—"

"YOU CAN NEVER LOVE ME! It's okay. You told me that it was all an act, remember? You never really wanted to touch me, to kiss me."

"None of it was an act –"

"I saw you and Glimmer together - the first night of the games. You kissed her."

"I DID NOT!"

"You met Marie in the Capitol on the Victory Tour. She was a victor from District 6. She made you feel loved, like I never did. You spent all your nights with her."

I finally find a chance to prove her wrong. "Katniss, you know that is a lie. You know it! Remember? We would always sleep in your bed to…to keep the nightmares away."

She stops and confusion clouds her eyes. "I remember that – I think."

I watch the tears spill down her cheeks as my eyes blur with tears. "Do you remember me telling you that my worst nightmare would be losing you?"

I reach out and wipe the tears off her cheeks with both my hands. "Yes," she whispers.

My voice is soft, pleading. I have to reach her. "Then how could you ever believe that I would want anyone else?"

Her eyes fill with more confusion and she sinks to the floor. I sit down beside her and hold her hand. "We will get through this, Katniss. Together."

She nods slowly and doesn't stop me when I lean in and kiss her. She gives into the kiss at first. I lightly brush my lips with her own and when I feel her sigh I deepen the kiss. I am like a starving man as I ravage her mouth. She opens her mouth to allow me access and I really kiss her. I stop a moment to catch my breath and she pushes me away from her.

"No! No! You can't trick me again. I will not help a rebellion who killed Prim. Who…who took you away from me!"

I reach out to her again my heart breaking. "I am right here."

She becomes hysterical as she pushes me away. "No, you're not! No! You left me for someone else!"

"Katniss, please..." My voice breaks and I can't go on. She is looking at me with an accusing look on her face.

"You ordered all those tests trying to make me forget, but I didn't. You just want to get rid of me! You let them hurt me! Torment me! You are the enemy! The enemy!"

I can't help myself I try to embrace her again. Hurt courses through my entire being. Hearing her call me the enemy is my undoing. President Snow has accomplished his goal. He has broken her and in turn, I am broken too.

The doctors force me out of the room so they can run some tests. I lower myself outside of her door refusing to leave her. Gale sinks down beside me with a tray of food. He hands it to me and I take it gratefully.

"Thanks."

"Sure. So, how is she doing?"

"She's broken."

"Do you know why she doesn't want to see me?"

I took a deep breath and then turned to face Gale. Nothing I say can prepare him for this. Nothing. "She thinks you killed her mother and Prim."

Gale's face drains of color. "What?"

"She thinks you arranged the bombing of 12 for the rebellion. That you sacrificed all those people to incite rebellion. She is convinced that you left her family there to die."

"How could she possibly think that? Oh my God." Gale tears up and turns away from me looking down at the floor.

"She thinks I am in love with someone else. That I am the reason she was tortured. She thinks I'm the reason they took her. She called me the enemy." Tears course down my cheeks again, but unlike Gale I make no point to hide them. Who cares anyway?

Gale shakes his head and finds his voice. "They destroyed her."

I shake my head vehemently. "No, they _tried_ to destroy her. We will get her back on track."

TUNE IN FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER. YOU WILL LEARN WHAT KATNISS WENT THROUGH AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GALE CONFRONTS HER. TUNE IN! Review please.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you again for all the reviews and support! I am enjoying this. I have never written fanfiction before and I am so glad** you all enjoy it.

**Chapter 8 **

The doctors pull us all into a private conference room. I look around the room at all the faces. Gale, Haymitch, President Coin, Plutarch, Prim, and Katniss's mom. I am overwhelmed with anxiety. I don't want to be in this room. I want to be with Katniss. I need to be there to protect her.

Doctor Redgrave starts speaking gently as if to take the sting out of his words. "Katniss has been through a very traumatic experience. We are not 100% sure what has been done to her. However, she was injected with something at least seventy different times over the course of a week. We believe they were attempting to hijack her mind using tracker jacker venom."

This cannot be happening. I manage to utter one quiet word. "Hijack?"

The doctors nods before continuing. "Yes. They take your reality and twist it. Replace the reality you know with all of your fears mixed along with fake memory plants. They use the tracker jacker venom to hurry the process along. It appears that she fought the treatment, but still the effects she has suffered are very severe."

Gale speaks up. "How do you mean, doctor?"

"Well, we cannot allow her to see her mother or Prim because the Capitol has made her believe the Gale killed them as part of the rebellion to make her believe the rebellion is bad. If she sees them, she will think they are Capitol mutts. Likewise, Gale, you cannot enter the room. She believes you have killed her loved ones."

Gale lowers his head in defeat as Prim and Katniss's mom begin to cry. I can understand how it stuck though. She was always afraid of losing Prim. It was her biggest fear and that venom played on that fear.

The doctor clears his throat before continuing. "Now, Peeta, Katniss's memories of you are very interesting. She was clearly supposed to believe you are the enemy – the hated one, but she has changed it so that it is her fault. The Capitol failed in turning her against you, so they targeted her love for you and convinced her that you chose someone better than her to love. This destroyed her emotionally, but they were unable to mess with the memories of the two of you alone together. I think if you talk with her about those memories it may help her."

I nod anxious to do anything to help her. Haymitch's scratchy voice cuts through the air. "What can I do to help her?"

The doctor looks at Haymitch with sympathetic eyes. "Nothing. She won't open up to you. You are a symbol of the rebellion that has taken everything away from her. The only people who have a chance to get through to her are Peeta and Finnick."

Gale interjects, "Why Finnick?"

"She trusted him in the arena. He saved Peeta's life multiple times. Even so, the Capitol did not bother to mess with her memories of him. The only memory tainted by the Capitol is that Peeta and Finnick were planning to do away with her, but since they didn't go into those games very much it isn't likely she believes that."

Gale stood up with tears in his eyes and throws his chair across the room. "So, my best friend believes I killed her family for the rebellion, but won't believe that Peeta is the enemy? She hates me?"

I shake my head, feeling anger course through me. "This is not her fault!"

Gale continues to yell and I feel even angrier. "She thinks that I killed her family. I have known her and loved her for years! Years! Yet, she trusts you more than she has ever trusted me!" Gale leaves the room quickly and I remain angry.

"No one has any right to be angry with her. The Capitol did this! Not her!"

Haymitch stands up beside me. "We all know that, Peeta."

I sigh and turn towards the doctor. "Doctor, I am ready to help her. I will do anything to get her back."

**Thank you so much for the reviews so far! I hope you are enjoying the story. I plan on carrying it all the way through Mockingjay and then beyond. Things will be different though. Different characters may die…not sure yet. Please review! Thank you so much for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Lost in a Daze**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I am so glad you are all enjoying the story. Please keep reviewing because it makes me update much faster. Team Peeta all the way!**

Chapter 9

"I am ready to help her." My words echo through my head as I mentally prepare myself for the task at hand. I know that I will do anything to get her back. I walk into her small hospital room. She is awake. Confusion and fear still emanate from her eyes, but she stays seated on the bed this time.

I sit down next to her on the bed, but still keep my distance so as not to upset her.

"I'm here to help you, Katniss."

She is wary of me and doubtful. "Why? Why bother?"

"Because I love you."

She hops down off the bed and crosses to the other side of the room. She crosses her arms and even though she is still terrified she looks more like she used to look. Stubborn. "Please don't say that to me."

"I love you, Katniss Everdeen. I always have and I always will."

"No, you don't. You love someone else. I remember her. I remember your letters and your tape. She showed me pictures of the two of you."

I shake my head and get off of the bed and walk closer to her slowly so as not to frighten her. "I have no idea where those letters came from because I didn't write them. I have never met someone named Marie in my life. I would never have let them take you away from me."

"But I remember it."

"I am going to help you remember everything and prove to you that the Capitol has planted these memories."

"How?"

Her voice is so beautiful and soft that I just want to wrap my arms around her and kiss her, but I know she is not ready for that yet. "I want you to tell me about the memories that you have. You can ask me if it is true and I will explain if it is or if it isn't. If it is true I will say 'real' and if it isn't true I will say 'not real'. How does that sound?"

She nods her head and then starts questioning me. "You love Marie."

"Not real. I have no idea who that is."

"You…you gave me a pearl." The hope in her voice makes me smile.

"Real, the night before we were separated in the arena."

"You kissed Glimmer in the first games?"

"Not real. You are the only one I will ever kiss. I have never been interested in anyone one else…ever."

I move towards her slowly and I hold her hand as she continues. She does not pull away from me and I see the fear draining from her eyes. She gently brings up her other hand and touches my cheek. The tears start to fall down my cheeks and she gently wipes them away. Her skin feels like silk against my cheek. I mimic her actions and wipe her own silent tears away as well. I can feel her coming back to me. "You saved my life as a child with the bread."

Her voice was just a whisper, so I whisper back. "Real. I loved you, even then."

She nods. "You used to sleep in my room so we wouldn't have nightmares."

They no longer sound like questions, but I answer them anyway. "Real. It was the only time I didn't have nightmares."

Her eyes have changed. She no longer looks confused or afraid. She looks happy. "I asked you to stay with me."

"Real. And I said…"

"Always." She finishes for me. I know she remembers it. She remembers everything about us. I can feel her back in the room with me. She is no longer distant.

"Yes, always." I whisper. Her face is now only inches from mine. We have drifted closer to one another during our conversation. I lean in closing the distance between us. Her lips are soft and mine are eager as we explore one another – savoring the moment. I tangle my hands in her hair which is flowing loosely down her back in waves. She pulls me closer to her and deepens the kiss. Our tongues meet and dance together. It is the most perfect kiss I have ever had. She finally breaks away and I see a little fright in her eyes. She is afraid. She is afraid I am going to walk out that door and never come back. That is never going to happen. "Katniss, if I had been with someone else why would I be here? I love you. I want to marry you. I want you. Always. There will never be anyone else for me. Never has been and never will be. I have loved you since we were in kindergarten together. I am not going to leave you. Ever. I promise you."

I see the small traces of fright leave her face. "I believe you. I love you, too." My heart soars. She really loves me! I hug her tightly to my chest and we both sob. I know she will come back to me. I will break the Capitol's hold on her and then I will kill President Snow with my own two hands for hurting her. I reluctantly pull away from her and tell her I am going to go and talk to the doctors. I want them to know we are making great progress today. I also want to go and get us something to eat.

As I walk out the door, I see that Gale has been standing outside the door watching us. I feel anger stir in me as I try to remain calm. "Gale, you shouldn't be here. She can't see you now. Don't you remember what the doctor said?"

Gale sneers at me. "Maybe you could spend a little less time making out with her and convince her that I am not a monster."

I step back from him startled. "God forbid we have one moment of happiness. I love her, Gale. I will do all in my power to help her, even exonerate you. But we have to be careful – too much too soon could be harmful to her."

"It is easy for you to say! You get to be with her! She doesn't hate you!"

"She doesn't hate you –"

"Yes she does! You need to think about something now, Peeta. You think about what she is going to say about this when she is well. If she remembers how she used to feel about me. Are you willing to lose her to me if she chooses me?"

My heart squeezes at his words, but I feel confident in our love. Jealousy flows through me though and I do my best to hide it. "If she wants to be with you, then I will respect her choice. But right now is not the time for any of that. She cannot see you now. You need to leave."

"No, I need to speak with her right now." Gale pushes me against the wall, hard. I feel all the air leave my body and before I get my lungs back he is in the room and has closed the door and locked it behind him.

**Please review. What do you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know. Reviews make me write faster!**


	10. Chapter 10

Lost in a Haze

THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! HERE IS THE NEXT INSTALLMENT. ENJOY

Chapter 10 – Gale's Point of View

I lock the door behind me and turn to face Katniss. She sees me and scurries for the far corner away from me and sinks down on the floor wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Catnip?" I call out quietly.

She does not answer me. Since I have entered the room she has started shaking. I hear Peeta outside the door calling for security to let him into the room. I don't have much time.

She looks at me and I see rage in her eyes. "Go away!"

"I didn't arrange the bombing!"

I try to approach her and she screams at me. "Stay away from me!"

I ignore her and sit on the floor in front of her. She begins to scream and it hurts me to see her this afraid of me. "Peeta, help me!" I hear security at the door and I lose it.

"I have been your best friend for years! I love you! I have loved you for a long time! How could you believe I would kill your family, but believe in Peeta? HOW?" I know I have messed this up. I didn't mean to let my jealousy show, but it has.

Security is opening the door and I turn to see what is going on. When I turn back around I see that Katniss has grabbed my knife out of my belt. I back away from her as security and Peeta enter. Katniss has the knife and her eyes are wild with fear.

"What's wrong with me? What have they done to me?" She seems to realize that she is acting crazy, but can't seem to stop it.

Peeta starts to approach her slowly. "We are going to help you get better, Katniss. Please sweetheart, drop the knife."

She turns her eyes to Peeta. "I am crazy. I don't want to ruin your life. I don't know who I am anymore. I am the enemy. Me."

Peeta lunges for her and I do the same. We both seem to know what she is going to do, but we are too late. She plunges the blade into her stomach and I see her blood spill out onto the floor.

She sinks to the floor and Peeta catches her before she hits the ground. Security has already gone for a doctor. I place my hands over the wound to stop the bleeding. Peeta pushes the knife away with his foot, while cradling her body in his arms. Weakly, she talks to us.

"I am sorry, Peeta. I am the enemy. It has been me all along."

He is looking at her with so much love in his eyes that I have to look away. "No you aren't, do you hear me? We will get through this."

Her voice is very weak. "I am nothing but a piece in their games."

Peeta's voice fills with desperation as he hears the defeat in her voice. "No, you are not! That's not true."

She sighs softly. "Just let me die like I am supposed to."

"NO! I cannot live without you! I won't!"

Peeta is so distraught that I find myself reassessing my opinion of him when Katniss finally manages to tear her eyes away from him. I can see that she loves him, that she has chosen him.

"I hope that killing my family helped your rebellion. I get to be with them now."

I start to cry and I hate myself for it. Tears are for the weak. "I didn't kill them, Katniss. They are here. They are alive."

She turns away from me and refuses to acknowledge me anymore. "Don't lie to me anymore. Alright? Not now."

The doctor arrives and as soon as he pulls out the needle she starts screaming. Peeta tries to calm her and I see the river of tears coursing down his cheeks. He doesn't make any point of wiping them away or covering them up. It makes me uncomfortable. It also makes me realize that he is a better man than I can ever hope to be. The sedative works instantly and she stops struggling. Peeta refuses to let go of her so the doctor repairs the damage while she lays still in his arms. He brushes back a strand of her hair out of her eye. Traces her cheek bones and places gentle, soft kisses on her cheeks and her forehead. All the while he is crying and murmuring things to her that are too low for me to hear…too personal.

Once she is resting comfortably. Peeta lays her back in the hospital bed. The doctor tells us that she will be out for at least three hours. Peeta gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. He refuses to look at me and stalks past me angrily out into the hallway. I understand his anger. I caused this. My jealousy and anger caused this. I sit down in a chair next to Katniss's bed and the doctor leaves me alone with her. I just sit quietly beside her bed. I don't touch her. I am afraid to disturb her. The doctor said she will be out for three hours, so I decide I will sit by her for a while. She doesn't need to know I was here. I sit in the chair by her bed and finally let the tears take me. I have lost her. I have lost the girl that I love. And I really don't have anyone to blame but myself. I should have told her that I loved her years ago, but I never did. Peeta never hesitated to tell her how he felt. I remember watching the games and seeing her fall in love with him. Nursing him back to health in the cave. Kissing him. I even remember that first kiss where I knew she cared for him, knew she was falling in love with Peeta Mellark. Ever since that day I have hated him. I have blamed him for taking Katniss away when my anger has been misguided. Because I truly have no one but myself to blame for losing Katniss Everdeen. She was never mine to begin with…

**PLEASE REVIEW! Hope I didn't scare anyone away with this chapter. I just felt like I needed a chapter from Gale's point of view. Let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Lost in a Haze**

Chapter 11 – Peeta's Point of View

After leaving Katniss, I stroll all the way to the control room and then into President Coin's office. Rage fuels me. Coin and Cressida are in a meeting, but I interrupt them anyway. "I want to send President Snow and the citizens of the Capitol a message and I want to do it right now." President Coin nods and pushes Cressida out the door with me.

I have not prepared what I want to say. I am just going to speak from my heart and use my anger to guide me this time.

Cressida gets the camera rolling and I just start talking. "Katniss Everdeen is back in safety. She is being cared for and will be the mockingjay once again. I warned you, President Snow. I warned you what would happen if you harmed my fiancé. As soon as we break into the Capitol and take over, I am going to find you and slit your throat. It will be the first and only time I will relish killing a human being. You made me a weapon by training me for the games. Are you sorry now, Mr. President? You were warned and now I will show you no mercy because you showed Katniss none. Enjoy the countdown to your demise. Tick tock."

Cressida nods to me and I leave the room without a word. Johanna Mason is waiting for me in the hallway. I have not spoken with her since we were in the arena together. She pulls my arm. "We need to talk."

I shake my head. "Later, I need to get back to Katniss."

"She will be out for a few hours with that sedative. Please, it is important."

"All right, lead the way." I wonder what she wants to speak with me about.

Johanna leads me to her room and closes the door behind us. She pauses before she sits on the bed. I sink into a nearby chair and wait. "I want to tell you what I remember…about what…about what Katniss went through in the Capitol."

Despair creeps into my being, but I hold it at bay. "All right. What do you know?"

"We were kept in rooms next to one another. Her screams kept me in constant company. I am told we were only there a week, but it felt like years. I was tortured for information, but they never stopped torturing her. Of course, she didn't know anything about the rebellion. Haymitch had kept you both in the dark. But they didn't believe her. They believed she knew a lot more."

I take a deep breath. "How did they torture you guys?"

"For the first two days they tried everything to break us. They whipped us, beat us, shackled us, burned us, and starved us. I told them Katniss didn't know anything and they finally believed me. But they went to a new torture. They kept injecting her with something and then they would show her videos that made her scream and cry all the time. She stopped talking after a day. A woman came in to see her and she said that you no longer cared for her and had found yourself someone who was worthy of your love. She claimed to be that woman. She stayed with Katniss for two days and even gave her the injections herself. Katniss screamed and cried the entire time and they never let her sleep. She only sleep one night the whole week. Otherwise they tortured her around the clock."

I cannot help the tears. I am always crying now. "The doctors, they said she fought the medication. That she resisted what they were trying to do."

Johanna nods. "Yes, she did and it made it so much worse for her."

I feel confused. "What did?"

"Holding on to you."

"What do you mean holding on to me?"

Johanna sighs and seems frustrated with me. "She refused to believe you were the enemy like they said, so they said you fell in love with someone else and deserted her thinking that she would see you as the enemy, but she didn't. She turned it on herself – hated herself for pushing you away and still loved you."

"I don't under—"

"They were going to use her against you, Peeta. They wanted her to kill you!"

"What?"

"When she didn't comply, they turned her on herself. She hates herself."

"That's why she tried to harm herself?"

"Yes, the Capitol wants the mockingjay to kill herself. It's what she has been programmed to do, since they couldn't make her kill you."

**Please review! I HOPE YOU all still like it! Review makes me write faster! Thanks! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Lost in a Haze**

**Thank you to everyone for all the wonderful reviews! I love writing this story. I have a few different fanfiction ideas for the books, so add me as a favorite author in case I get time to write some more. I try to update daily, sometimes more than once. I am so glad you all like it. I don't hate the character or Gale, but he is not meant for Katniss in my opinion. Team Peeta all the way here! Enjoy! Please review.**

**Chapter 12 – still Peeta's P.O.V**

I keep repeating Johanna's words in my head.

_The Capitol wants to mockingjay to kill herself. It's what she has been programmed to do, since they couldn't make her kill you._

I have loved Katniss since I was five years old. I never thought her feelings were that strong for me. I had always hoped that they were, but never truly believed it. All the horrors she endured could not make her turn her back on me. I felt the emotions crashing down on me as I made my way to Katniss's room. I walk into the room and I see Gale sitting by her bed.

"You shouldn't be here." I say and I don't even bother to hide the anger in my voice. I blamed him for this, so why hide it?

"I know, but the Doctor said she will be asleep for another hour so I thought…"

"It's fine," I snap at him and take my seat on the other side of the bed and take Katniss's cold hand in my own. I see that Gale is not touching her.

"I'm sorry, Peeta."

"I know." I may not like Gale because I have been jealous of his relationship with Katniss my entire life, but I know he would never want her to be harmed.

"I never wanted her to get hurt. I thought if she saw me she would know that I could never have betrayed her like that and let her family die."

"She had no choice, Gale! All right? Johanna told me how they tortured her. Do you know why she went through all that?"

"No," Gale says quietly, but imploringly for me to continue.

"They were trying to program her to kill me."

"That is what she was fighting in the Capitol? But the doctors –"

"Yes, but its also why she is the way she is. They have programmed her to kill herself since they couldn't make her kill me." Saying these words to Gale makes them weigh heavily on my heart. I finally meet his gaze and I see the tears spilling down his cheeks.

"What? No! We have to stop this. How do we stop it?"

I shake my head and return my gaze back to my love's sleeping form. "I have to bring her back. I have to make her see what I have always seen in her. I have to make her see it. I will bring her back." I am not even sure I am talking to Gale anymore. If I don't bring Katniss back, then I will die right along with her. I know I will.

"I have been wrong about you, Peeta."

I turn to look at him and he continues. "I have hated you ever since you announced in your interview that you loved her. Did you love her even then?"

I nod. "I have loved her for as long as I can remember."

"Then why didn't you ever tell her?"

"I don't know. I think it was a lot of things. I was afraid of being rejected. I was afraid that she was in love with you. But when she volunteered to take her sister's place, I actually wanted them to draw my name – just for a chance to be with her. To finally tell her the truth, because if she didn't feel the same way it was okay because only one of us was going to make it home and I wanted to make damn sure it was her."

My honesty has surprised Gale. "Wow, you are braver than I ever thought you were."

"I'm not brave. I just…I just couldn't stand the thought of living in District 12 without her." There I said it. I admitted it all to Gale.

"I know the feeling. When you confessed your love for her, I saw the look in her eyes. She did care for you even then. As I watched the games, it killed me to watch her fall in love with you. Every kiss, every touch, every word, tortured me."

"It was an act for her then. She wanted to get us both home to safety." I didn't think that Katniss cared for me then.

"No, it wasn't an act for her. When she cared for you in the cave, risked her life to get you that medicine, that first real kiss where she couldn't put her feelings into words…she was in love with you. She only pulled away at home because she didn't know why you would love her. She has never seen herself clearly."

"She has no idea the effect she can have." I smile at my choice of words and Gale just nods. "But she kissed you in the woods and when your back was torn up." I want to believe Gale's words because it would mean that I was right. All her thoughts and feelings had been real. She had been falling in love with me even then.

"She kissed me to make me feel better, not herself. She can't stand to see me in pain. It is the only time she shows me affection. But with you, it is different. You declared your love for her, you vowed to protect her, and you surrendered everything for her. I didn't do that, or I did it too late. I told her I loved her in the woods when we were discussing running away, but she wouldn't run without you."

My heart soars at his words. Words I knew he wouldn't admit if they weren't true. "She said that?"

He sighs and looks me straight in the eye. "She didn't have to say anything. Trust me."

"Well, thanks for telling me that."

"Sure." He gets up to go. "Oh, and Peeta?"

I turn to look at him. "Yes?"

"I want to be there when you kill Snow." He has a look of deadly rage in his eyes. A feeling I have become acquainted with.

"Of course."

"Thanks." He gives Katniss a long look before turning away and heading out of the room. "Take care of her."

"Always," I call out to him.

**So, what do you think? Do you like the guys bonding? It may not last long though…lots of drama still to come. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

**On a side note, I absolutely cannot wait for the movie! It is going to be incredible! I am very happy with the actors chosen for the parts! **

**I really appreciate all the positive encouragement of the reviews! Review often! I hope you are still enjoying it! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Lost in a Haze**

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! New Update below.**

Chapter 13

I am sitting next to Katniss on the bed holding her hand when she stirs. She turns her eyes on me with confusion clear in them.

"I didn't die?" It is a question and she says it in sadness and it breaks my heart.

"No, I will not let that happen."

"I was supposed to die."

"That would destroy me." I was trying to be strong, but her words tore at my heart and tears stung my eyes.

Katniss looks down afraid to meet my eyes. She has emotion brimming in her eyes as well and she is trying to hide it from me. "You would move on – I am nothing special."

Her words slice through me like a knife. "Yes, you are. I would die with you. If you ever succeed at what you just tried to do then I will follow you."

This causes her to look at me in shock and the tears fall freely. She reaches out her other hand and clasps my other hand tightly in her grasp so both our hands are entwined. "Please don't say that."

She has no emotions when dealing with herself, but she can't handle me to be in pain. "Why? Because you fought so hard to keep me alive?"

Shock reads clearly in her bright eyes. "You know?"

"Yes, Johanna told me."

She can't speak so she just nods.

I move closer to her on the small bed and she doesn't move away. "I'm so sorrrryyy for what happened to you."

She swipes angrily at the tears with her arm. "It's okay."

"No, it's not. Will you talk to me about it?"

She shrugs as if it doesn't matter, but then strongly seems to considerate it. I put my arm around her trembling shoulders and draw her close to me. I still hold my hand with the other hand. She folds both her hands around mine and gently rubs on my knuckles. Just the small touch makes my heart beat accelerate and it causes her to smile at me slightly.

"I guess if I am going to have to talk about it, then I want to tell you and not anyone else." She pauses and I don't say anything, giving her plenty of time to speak on her own. "They killed Cinna in front of me. They tortured him to make me talk about the rebellion, but I didn't know anything." Her voice raises and hysterical sobs are threatening to consume her. I hold her more tightly, encouraging her to continue. "Cinna told them I didn't know anything…he…he told them I wasn't a part of it. He said you and I didn't know anything and that Haymitch had kept us in the dark…but they didn't believe him either, or didn't want to." She stops speaking for a moment and is trying to breathe.

I breathe slow and steady placing her hands against my heart and take slow deep breaths to try and regulate her breathing. After a minute, it works and she is breathing more evenly. Her eyes are locked on mine. She reaches her hand up and brushes my hair back from my eyes and lightly traces my face with both hands. She moves down my arms and gently traces them as well. My breathing becomes irregular. Just her simple touch is enough to send me over the edge. She smiles slightly at the effect her touch has on me. "I just…I just can't believe you are really her with me, " she confesses. "I thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I had lost you." Her confession makes her look down and I bring her chin gently back up as I stare into her beautiful eyes.

"You could never lose me, Katniss. I belong to you." I can't resist the urge to touch her anymore. I mimic her actions from a moment ago and run my hands along her face. I linger on her jawline and feel her heartbeat quicken as well. I gently trace down her neck, lingering here and there, and then leave a trail down her arms. Goosebumps break out on her skin. I look back at her face and I see she is staring back at me. The desire burning in her eyes is the same desire I feel burning through my entire body. I lean in slowly to kiss her and she surprises me by closing the distance between us. I kiss her slowly, leisurely exploring her mouth, tasting her. She opens her mouth wider and then we are kissing wildly, passionately.

I feel fire burn through my veins and my heart is soaring. It is a kiss that leaves us both panting breathlessly, unwilling to let it end. All of our want and need is in that kiss. As the kiss continues, Katniss runs her hands down my chest and back up, lingering in places. She plays with the skin at my waist and her fingers on my bare skin send me into a frenzy. I cannot stop kissing her. I encircle her waist and run my hands over her flat stomach and around to her back. Her breath catches and I know we are slowly getting to a point of no return. I don't want to stop, but I don't want to rush her. I start to step back and she pulls me back to her, wrapping her arms around my waist and gently massaging my back with her fingertips eliciting a sigh from me.

"Peeta, I don't want to stop." Her voice is hoarse with desire and I nod at her statement.

"Are you sure?" I want her to be sure. I don't want to rush us. She nods and we go back to kissing.

The door opens and we slowly break apart to see Haymitch staring at us open mouthed. I feel Katniss instantly tense beside me. I can feel her withdrawing from me, back into herself as she views the man she now despises. She no longer trusts him and it is apparent by her change in body language since he has entered the small room. I am the first to break the silence.

"Haymitch, what are you doing in here?" I am frustrated by his intrusion and worried about its effect on Katniss. She has not moved from my side, but she feels so far away.

Haymitch stutters over his words, clearly drunk somehow even though alcohol is prohibited in 13, he has found his way around it. "I wanted to check on…her…Katniss; I have been concerned about her….wanted to help."

Katniss stands slowly and moves a little closer to Haymitch. "Are you two working together?"

I feel panic overtake me. All the work, all the closeness we had shared was ripped away from me. She thought I was betraying her. "No, Katniss. Haymitch is with District 13. He helped to rescue you, same as everyone else."

She shakes her head. "Cinna is dead, Haymitch. He was tortured for hours in front of me because the Capitol believed I was a part of the rebellion. They told me…they said Peeta was working with you…said that he would defend you." She turns to look at me and I see betrayal in the same eyes that were clouded with desire not five minutes ago.

**WHAT DO YOU THINK? Want more with Peeta and Katniss? Want more of her battling it out with Haymitch? Review and let me know what you think. I am already working on the next chapter. Review please. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for all the reviews! I promise there will be more Peeta/Katniss love in the next chapter. What do you think of this chapter? Review and let me know! **

Lost in a Haze

Chapter 14 – Peeta's Point of View

I see the betrayal in her eyes. I understand how she can feel that way. The Capitol seems to have found other ways to destroy us all. I try to calm her, reassure her.

"Katniss, sweetheart, Haymitch was trying to protect both of us in the arena. He is the one who saved me and would have saved you too if the Capitol hadn't picked you up first."

I see that her eyes are wild and she keeps looking between us carefully. Haymitch has backed away from her. Even in his drunken state he realizes he has made a mistake, a monumental one. Haymitch looks at Katniss and I see how concerned he is. He loves her like a daughter and now she hates him. She is looking at only him now with hatred blazing in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry."

She stares him down. "You took Peeta away from me!"

Haymitch looks startled. "We rescued him. I remembered our deal."

Something sparks in Katniss's eyes. She remembers their deal.

"What deal was that Haymitch?" Even though I know, I want him to say it. He may help her. I want her to be able to trust Haymitch again.

"I promised her we would save you this time around. I kept my word. You were saved."

Katniss nods and slowly sits back down on the bed. "Yes, you saved Peeta. We were going to save him."

Haymitch nods. "Do you remember that?"

She nods and looks down at her hands as if something is terribly interesting. "I remember, but you still should have told us what was going on with the rebels. Cinna was tortured in front of me. It took him hours to die because they didn't believe that I didn't know anything!"

She whimpers and pulls her legs up to her chest. I approach her slowly and put my arm around her. She flinches at first and then allows it. She looks at Haymitch one more time.

"Well, I hope that Gale has furthered your rebellion by blowing up my mother and sister in District 12! You tell him that he needs to stay out of here and as long as you are with the rebels I want you out too!"

Haymitch does not argue with her and backs out of the room. "So sorry, Katniss."

He leaves the room and she leans her head against my shoulder. I feel her quiet tears on my shirt. I feel relief that she has not shut me out. I am relieved that she didn't feel betrayed by me. She lifts her head up and looks into my eyes for a long time. I feel relief. Her eyes are still filled with love for me.

_Katniss's Point of View_

_ I am so relieved when Haymitch leaves the room and I can breathe again. I remember our deal. Our deal was to keep Peeta alive and I was supposed to die. Supposed to die. I have no problem dying now. I know now that I cannot let Peeta take care of me. I refuse to doom him to that kind of life. I want Peeta Mellark to be happy and live a long and fruitful life. If anyone deserves it, it is the boy with the bread. My savior. He loves me selflessly. He loves me more than I have ever deserved. I will allow myself a few days of happiness with Peeta Mellark and then I will end his agony and mine. I cannot allow District 13 to use me. My family is dead because of a rebellion against the Capitol. District 13 had recruited Gale to help their rebellion. They made my best friend into a monster and then he murdered my family, our friends. No, this mockingjay will no longer support or help a rebellion that killed Prim and took Peeta away from her. I will enjoy the last few days of my life with the man that I love and then I will end his agony. I will ensure that he doesn't have to live his life worrying about me. I stare up into the mesmerizing blue eyes of the person who will keep my alive at any cost. The man who puts me above himself every single time. He loves me so much and I love him. I love him too much to allow him to live like this any longer. I would give myself a few days of bliss with him. I want to enjoy being with the man I love, before I end my life. Before I give up. I just hope that one day he will forgive me for it…maybe one day he will._

**REVIEW PLEASE! Lots of love between Peeta and Katniss in the next couple of chapters if that is what my readers want. Please review if that is what you want. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Lost in a Haze**

**Chapter 15 – Peeta's Point of View**

I still cannot believe Katniss's encounter with Haymitch did not make her regress more. I was so terrified she was going to pull away from me. Instead, here she is staring lovingly into my eyes. She is looking at me almost desperately in a way that makes my heart beat quicken, but I also feel as if there is something hidden in the depths of her eyes. The feeling makes me feel uneasy and I am determined to find out what it is.

I don't have a chance to think more about it because she is caressing my face with her hands. She leans in and plants a soft kiss on my lips. I return it. She moves her mouth against the corner of my jaw and then drops her mouth to go to work on my neck. I sigh in contentment and feel myself getting warm. She is picking up right where we left off, as if the conversation before had never happened. On one hand, I am elated. On the other hand, I am worried. What is she keeping from me? What is she hiding?

Even as I ponder these questions, I am kissing her and then my mind shuts off as I concentrate on the sensation of my lips against hers. I tangle my hands in her long hair and pull back a little and she moans softly into my mouth. I place kisses up and down her neck with my fingers still locked in her hair. She puts her arms around my waist and starts pushing my shirt up. I feel her cool hands on my stomach and sensation makes my breathing labored. I have to touch her. I encircle her waist and run my fingers gently around her exposed skin. She pulls at my shirt and I help her pull it over my head. Her hands roam over my body slowly and we never stop kissing. I am enjoying the sensations coursing through me. This is what I have always wanted with Katniss, but I feel as if something is off. I feel as though she is keeping something from me. It physically pains me to pull away from her. I look deeply into her eyes that are filled with passion, lust, love, and sadness. Why is she sad?

I have to know. I lean my forehead down against hers and whisper gently. "What are you hiding from me? What is making you sad?"

She pulls away slightly in shock. She didn't think I knew her that well. Maybe no one else knows her that well, but I can read her. I know there is something she is not telling me. She shakes her head no, but doesn't speak.

"Katniss, I know something is wrong. I can feel it."

Her voice shakes as she answers me. "You don't want me."

I am quick to reassure her. "Trust me. There is nothing else I want more. I just want to know what you are hiding from me. I want to help you."

I run my hands over her cheeks and wipe away the tears that are beginning to fall. "How did you know something was wrong?"

"I told you. I know you."

She pulls back slightly, but reaches out and grabs my hands in hers. "I want to be with you, more than anything in this world. Please believe that."

I nod and wait for her to continue. She seems to be choosing her words very carefully.

"I have no intention of becoming a symbol of this rebellion, Peeta. I don't want to be their mockingjay. I don't want to support them. I have no purpose anymore in this life, but I want to be with you."

I have picked up on something in her words, something she is intentionally omitting. _ I have no purpose in this life_…I gasp as the pieces fall together.

"Katniss, what are you going to do?"

Again she looks surprised, but tries to hide it. "I am not going to be the mockingjay, Peeta. I can't be that anymore. I can't do anything anymore."

_I can't do anything anymore._ Again I pick up on what she is not saying and I know exactly what she is saying. She is not planning on living. I wrap my arms around her waist and crush her to me. My lips find hers and I kiss her passionately. I am not going to let her give up. She is surprised at first, but then kisses me back. I hold her as close as I can to my chest. We fall backwards onto the small hospital bed and we are still kissing. Suddenly, I pull away from her kiss, but I hold her close to me on the narrow bed. She is lying in front of me and I am behind her holding her tightly around the waist.

I lean over and whisper in her ear. "I am not going to let you leave me. Do you understand me? I will not live without you. I will not choose a life without you in it. I would rather die. Do you hear me, Katniss? If you do what you are planning to do, then I will be joining you soon enough."

She starts sobbing and pulls my arms even more tightly around her. I let her cry it out and keep whispering to her. "I love you, Katniss. I will be with you. Always." Finally her sobbing subsides and she turns around to face me as we lay close on the bed. Her eyes are red rimmed but she is so incredibly beautiful.

"I can't let you waste your life on me. I am damaged, Peeta. I am broken. I don't know how to fix it. I just know that if I die then people won't suffer so much anymore."

I need to get through to her now. "Sweetheart, the Capitol wants you to kill yourself. They want you to give up. You can't let them beat you. You have always been so strong, so astonishingly strong. Fight this! Please fight this." I feel the tears seep from my eyes and she reaches out and wipes them away since my arms are tightly around her waist.

"I am not the same person anymore, Peeta. I was strong for Prim. She is dead. There is no reason to be strong anymore."

I hesitate and then I ask her, "Do you trust me?"

She doesn't hesitate for a moment. "Yes."

"Will you hear me out no matter what?"

She nods so I begin. "Your sister and mother are alive, Katniss. They are here in District 13. After the Capitol bombed District 12, Gale saved as many people as he could and made for the woods. They made it here to District 13. Your family is alive."

**What do you think of this chapter? Want more soon? I want to make Peeta and Katniss's first time together special. Peeta would want everything to be right first because he loves her more than he wants to sleep with her. Any comments? Please review! I got some good reviews over the last chapter so I wrote this one the same night as the last. Let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry it has taken me a few days to update! I went to see the movie at midnight and I loved it! I wished for a little more Katniss/Peeta onscreen kissing, but I can make up for it by writing about it! Here is Chapter 16. Thank you to all the followers and the reviewers! ENJOY!**

**Lost in a Haze**

**Chapter 16 – Peeta's Point of View**

A little bit from last chapter as a review:

"I am not the same person anymore, Peeta. I was strong for Prim. She is dead. There is no reason to be strong anymore."

I hesitate and then I ask her, "Do you trust me?"

She doesn't hesitate for a moment. "Yes."

"Will you hear me out no matter what?"

She nods so I begin. "Your sister and mother are alive, Katniss. They are here in District 13. After the Capitol bombed District 12, Gale saved as many people as he could and made for the woods. They made it here to District 13. Your family is alive."

She is looking at me with narrowed eyes. She seems confused, but I see anger in her eyes as well. She wants to believe me, but isn't sure if she can believe me. I have to convince her before she shuts me out.

I reach out and take her hand and speak gently. "Katniss, I promise you that your mother and Prim are alive. Gale saved them." I am defending Gale and I hate it, but she deserves to know the truth and I hope knowing the truth won't change anything between us.

She still looks confused, but the anger has vanished. She looks so vulnerable and beautiful that I just want to kiss her and never stop. "You have seen Prim?"

I nod quickly. "We talked the night you warned us of an attack on Thirteen. She told me not to count you out, that you were a fighter. She said you would come back for us."

She believes me. I see it in her eyes. "I want to see her. I want to see my little duck." Tears are now streaming silently down her cheeks and I reach out to wipe them away with my finger tips and she grabs onto my hand, holding it tightly.

"I will go and get her for you. I will be right back." I head over to the intercom and push the button. A gruff voice answers me. I respond enthusiastically. "Please send Prim in, Katniss wants to see Prim!"

I stride back quickly to her side and we sit on the small hospital bed holding hands. "I can go if you want some time alone with your sister."

She shakes her head no quickly. "No, please Peeta, stay with me."

"Always," I whisper before kissing her on the cheek.

The door opens moments later to reveal Prim. She has obviously run to be here. Her usually neat braids are in disarray. She is wearing a soft yellow dress. Katniss stands as soon as she enters the room. Prim is crying with joy and they run towards each other embracing quickly. Katniss starts sobbing as soon as she holds her sister. She clutches her desperately. "Prim, you are alive! You are alive!" She is screaming now and Prim smiles.  
>"Yes, Katniss. I am alive. Mom is alive. We are just fine. We are all going to be just fine."<p>

I watch the reunion and feel my heart lift. She is coming back to us. The Capitol cannot destroy Katniss Everdeen. It doesn't mean I don't plan to kill President Snow with my bare hands because I do, oh I do.

Two hours later, Prim has to return to help her mother at the hospital. Mrs. Everdeen is coming in after her shift. I sit with Katniss on her bed.

"I'm so sorry that all this happened to you." She tries to smile, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She shrugs noncommittally.

"It's okay."

I emphasize very clearly. "No. No, it's not. Will you talk to me more about what happened to you? I know you said they killed Cinna. What else do you want to tell me?"

"I can try to talk about it. After…after they killed him, killed Cinna, then they started showing me videos. While the videos were on they kept telling me that you had betrayed me and that you needed to die. I knew that it wasn't true. I held onto that fact. They kept injecting me with needles – whatever was in the syringe burned through my body for hours. It caused hallucinations, but they didn't stop and they never let me sleep."

She stops to take a breath. I keep holding her hand and run my fingers over hers trying to give her my strength. I feel so much anger and pain at all she has already told me.

"They used water torture, they beat me with a whip when I fought the testing, and they burned me. After they burned me they would mock me and say that I was now literally the girl on fire."

I trace the burn scars on her arms and she lifts up the back of her shirt to show me her back. Her burns look deep and still painful. I trace lightly over her skin and she leans her head against me before continuing. I keep rubbing soothing circles over her back.

"Since I fought the initial testing, they brought in a woman. This woman should be pictures of the two of you together. She said you were married. She showed me pictures of your wedding and then a note they said you wrote saying you were done with me. You had chosen someone who could…who could actually have a chance at making you happy, because…because I never could."

I pull her face into my hands so she can see the tears in them. We are both crying again, but I don't give a damn. "Oh baby, none of that is true. None of it. There has never been anyone else. Never in my whole life. There will never be anyone else."

She leans back against my chest and holds me tightly while she finishes her story. "I don't remember much after that. I remember knowing that my mother and Prim were dead because of Gale. I remembered that you were with someone else because I was worthless. And I remembered that I needed to die. Nothing else mattered. Nothing."

I tilt her chin up so she is looking into my eyes. "Katniss, they want you to kill yourself. Do you understand? Please, please promise me that you won't hurt yourself again. Promise me?"

She shakes her head no. "I can't promise that."

I am stunned. "Why?"

"Because, because I don't want you to be stuck with me. You deserve someone who can make you happy. Someone you can love as much as I love you."

I stand up and pull her to her feet with me. I encircle her waist and pull her close to me. I can feel her heartbeat accelerate. I tilt her chin up and force her eyes to meet mine again. "I could never love anyone more than I love you. I have loved you my entire life. I will love you forever. Always. Please don't leave me. I won't survive without you." I lean into her then and brush my lips lightly with hers at first. She gives into the kiss and it becomes more intense, more passionate. I quickly feel engulfed in flames as we frantically kiss one another. Suddenly, I pull back. She looks confused, but I am quick to reassure her.

"Let's go back to my room. I want to be alone with you without cameras capturing our every move." She nods and then blushes. I take her hand in mine and we leave the room together, as a team, as always. I am finally going to get the chance to be all alone with Katniss Everdeen and I don't want to waste a moment.

**REVIEW! Do you love it? Hate it? Lots of love and other stuff in the next chapter. **

**Review if you are ready for more!**


	17. Chapter 17

Thank you for the reviews! Here is Chapter 17.

**Chapter 17**

I smile as Katniss takes my hand and we leave the confined hospital room together. She smiles at me and I feel my heart race. I want to be alone with her. We get back to my room and I want to make everything perfect for us.

She looks at me shyly before asking, "Can I go take a shower first?" I nod at her and smile. She goes into my bathroom and closes the door behind her. While she is in the bathroom, I make up my bed and clean up the room a little.

She emerges less than ten minutes later in a towel with a shy smile on her face. My brain cannot process anything with her looking like that. I am suddenly nervous. Is this her first time ever? Will she be disappointed in me? I had never dreamed that I would be here with her like this. I told myself a long time ago that she was the only woman I would ever make love to even if this never happened. I have never been in love with anyone else. I have been in love with her my entire life. I approach her slowly. She looks nervous, too. I want to put her at ease. My heart is beating out of my chest, but I reach my hand up to cup her cheek and I caress her cheek, moving down her neck with my hand. The nervousness dissipates from her eyes and I see a vulnerability so pure and so incredibly beautiful in her eyes.

"Have you, have you ever with any other girl…" She trails off unsure how to ask me.

I shake my head and smile as I step even closer to her, still touching her neck lightly. "No, never. You?"

She shakes her head quickly. "You were the first boy I ever even kissed."

"You are the only girl I have ever kissed." I lick my lips and then we lean into one another. Our kiss is intense, passionate. I almost melt into her arms. I encircle her towel covered waist and continue to explore her mouth. She begins to unbutton my shirt and I stop long enough to pull it over my head. She gently runs her hands up and down my body causing me to shudder and sigh. My sigh causes her to smile. She kisses my cheek, my neck, my chest, and my stomach. I feel hot, all over. Her hands are unbuttoning my pants and I help her with them as she slides them slowly down my legs. I gently remove her towel and take in the beauty of her. She looks down embarrassed and I tug her chin back up gently with my hand.

"You are so incredibly beautiful. I love you with all that I am."

Tears spill quietly down her cheeks. "I love you, too. More than you will ever know." She whispers to me.

We walk over to the bed slowly together. She lies down and I carefully join her on the bed. I lovingly give her all that I am and all that I have always wanted to give her. It is the most amazing experience of my entire life. Making love to Katniss made me yearn for more of her, all the time. After, we are lying in each other's arms both sated and happy.

She speaks softly. "I never thought I could feel so much and love so deeply. That was incredible."

My heart soars at her words. "I love you too. That was amazing."

"Well, Peeta, you know what they say…"

"What's that?"

"Practice makes perfect."

I grin down at her to see her grinning at me. She is wrapped in my blankets and I can't wait to see all of her again. "Well, that was already perfect, but I like where you are going with this." I capture her in my arms again and kiss her frantically, passionately as we begin again. I never want to leave this bed. I want to freeze this moment, right here, right now and live in it forever. I want to bask in this sunlight forever. I love this woman more than my own life. I will protect her no matter what. No one will ever be able to take her away from me again. No one. We belong together, forever.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed this, followed it, or marked it as a favorite. Keep the reviews coming! I hope you like this chapter. It is from Katniss's point of view.**

Chapter 18 – Katniss's P.O.V

Last night was the best night of my life. I had finally given my whole heart and soul to the boy with the bread. My soulmate. The love of my life. I didn't know I could feel this way, giddy with love. I know the only man I will ever love is Peeta Mellark. Last night, I finally slept without nightmares because I was safely in his arms. I woke up with a feeling of clarity. I would do anything for Peeta. Anything. I would give up everything. I would sacrifice my life to save him. I know now that the Capitol lied to me. They tried to make me believe Peeta had abandoned me and that he loved someone else. I know they lied. He didn't love anyone else. He never gave up on me. I am ashamed that I ever believed that he would have. He is the best man I will ever know.

I caress his cheek and brush his hair back with gentle fingers to reveal his closed eyes. He is smiling in his sleep. He is still holding me tightly in his arms. I know I don't deserve him. He deserves so much more, so much more than me. I won't let him be hurt by me, or destroyed by me. I am the enemy. I know this is true. The Capitol did not plant this inside of me because I feel it so deeply within myself. When the time is right, I will remove myself from this life. I would rather die than see Peeta suffer because of me. He will eventually see me as everyone else sees me as – a failure, a fraud, and a pathetic traitor. I cannot stand for him to look at me in that way. He looks at me with such love in those beautiful blue eyes, such devotion. I will remove myself before he looks at me in any other way.

When that time comes, I will end my life to save his. He is everything to me. Everything. I won't let him settle for nothing. I will sacrifice my life to save his. I was going to save him in the Quarter Quell anyway because I knew he deserved it. I knew that I deserved to die because I am so weak, pathetic, and the enemy. My last act was to save the only pure person in the games, my Peeta. I am blessed that I get to be with him like this before I have to die. I am going to cherish every moment we are together. These moments will give me the courage to do the right thing in the end.

Maybe one day he can have those children he has always wanted with someone worthy. My heart twists as I picture this. Jealousy rips through me hotter than any pain I have ever suffered. I know that I will not live a life without Peeta Mellark in it, just as I know I won't sentence him to a life with me.

I lay back down beside him and push myself as close to him as I can. He wraps his arms around me even more tightly and whispers in my ear. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I whisper back. It is because I love him that I know I can save him. I can still save him from me. I will enjoy my time with Peeta before I go and I will love him with every fiber of my being. I don't know how much time we have left together, but I am going to love every moment of every day we are together. My days are numbered again, but this time. I am not sad, apprehensive, or worried. I know my end is coming, so I am going to make the most of my life while I can. I am going to live out the remainder of my days, or hours whatever the case may be, with Peeta Mellark.

**Just when you thought she was better, huh? Please review!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you to all the followers and reviewers! I promise that Katniss will not succeed in her plan to hurt herself. I am Team Peeta all the way, so just know he will save her and/or figure out her plan. Remember that I am going to carry this all the way through Mockingjay so let me know if you like it or not. I won't go that far if people get bored with my story! Reviews make me write faster! This is my second chapter of the day! ENJOY! **

**Chapter 19 – Peeta' Point of View**

I woke up from the best night of my life with immense happiness. I snuggled Katniss closer to my chest and I thought my heart would burst with love. She was awake also. I could tell because there was a smile plastered on her face. Her eyes were closed, but I knew she was awake. I kiss her cheeks and her eyes until she rolls over to face me. She kisses me immediately and I respond. We are eagerly kissing and end up making love again in the morning light. I know eventually we will have to leave this room to eat, to work, or to see the doctors. However, neither one of us is really thinking about that now as we are wrapped around one another. Katniss pulls the covers up to her chest and I lean over to kiss her again tenderly. I pull her close to me again and hold her tightly. She is amazing. She is wonderful. She is my everything.

"Do you think we will ever get anything done from now on?" I ask her.

She smiles and shakes her head. "No, and I don't give a damn either."

I grin back at her. "Me either."

I kiss her shoulders and trail kisses down her back and she moans slightly which encourages me to continue. I keep kissing her and it tickles her so she giggles. Neither one of us hears the door open, but we can't miss his voice.

"Peeta, have you seen Katniss?" Gale walks into the room and I cover us up as quickly as I can, but he knows we are in bed together and I am sure he can figure out what we have been doing.

"She is a little busy at the moment, Gale. Can I help you with something?"

Katniss won't look at Gale and is looking down at the blankets pretending to be interested in the sheets.

"President Coin wants an update on Katniss's condition and I didn't see her in her room."

Gale is avoiding looking at Katniss, but he looks at me with barely concealed fury and hatred. I don't care how he feels. I am so happy that he could never ruin it.

"As you can see the mockingjay is doing just fine. We will go and see President Coin ourselves when we are ready to leave this room."

I cannot keep the smile off my face and I think I have given him a big enough hint to leave my room, but he doesn't. He is just standing there and then he finally looks at Katniss as if she has betrayed him.

"Katniss, I would like to speak with you today if that is alright. I was told you saw Prim so you know I didn't kill her. Can we talk, please?"

She still won't look at him and buries her face in my arm. "Okay." She whispers softly and he nods before leaving the room. His eyes were trained on her body far longer than necessary and I feel the old familiar jealousy creep through me. I know it is silly, but Gale has always sparked that in me.

After he leaves she heaves a sigh of relief and smiles at me. I look deeply into her eyes and see joy and reckless abandonment. She doesn't care that Gale walked in on us. She doesn't care that he wants to speak with her. She just wants to pick up where we left off. She just wants to be here with me. We start kissing again and I am thoroughly enjoying myself even though a feeling of discomfort is pulling at me constantly, dully. I am so happy and I never want this moment to end, but at the same time I am worried about the woman in my arms. I am worried about her mind and her thoughts. Even though she is happy she is also concealing something from me, something she doesn't want to talk to me about.

I look into those beautiful eyes as we lay back on the bed together and I promise myself that I will protect her in spite of herself. I am not going to let anything happen to Katniss Everdeen, never again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – Gale's Point of View**

I have never felt so horrible in my entire life. To walk in and see her in bed with HIM. We are supposed to be together. We are supposed to have the new beginning. HE is never going to be able to be the best for her. He is weak and I am the strong one. I am the one who has known her my whole life, while he has just stalked her from afar. He will not get away with this. He will not.

It feels like a punch in the gut to know that she slept with him. I wonder how long they had been that intimate. Did it start after the first games? Recently? I will ask her when we meet in an hour.

Katniss and Peeta reported to President Coin. She gave them a week reprieve to enjoy their time together and get Katniss to optimal health…great. That is why I am glad we are going to talk today without Mellark around. I don't need him speaking for her. Does he think she can't speak for herself? I know exactly what I want to tell her. I want to tell her everything that I have never said before. I hid from my feelings for her for far too long and I am not going to lose her now.

Thirty minutes later, I am standing in front of her new compartment. She got to leave the hospital room and her room is right next to Mellark's…how convenient. I know I am early, but I cannot wait any longer. I don't bother to knock and just walk right into the room. I see Katniss and Peeta engaged in a hot and heavy make out session, but at least they are both dressed…thank God for small favors. They haven't even noticed me yet, so I clear my throat. They break apart slowly and she looks at me before looking down. Peeta gives me an exasperated look.

"Hi there, Gale. You are a little early, aren't you?"

I snap at him. "Well, I was hoping that maybe I could spend a little time with Katniss since you seem to be with her all the time these days."

My biting comments don't really affect him, but I see Katniss looks a little angry with me. Oh well, I can deal with that. At least she isn't trying to hurt herself or kill me. It could be a lot worse.

Peeta doesn't even bother to answer me. He leans in and gives Katniss a long, deep kiss before planting a gentle kiss on her forehead. "See you soon, okay? Come see me after you are done here. I will make you dinner." She nods and he saunters out. He doesn't even look at me, but turns back to give her a meaningful smile before closing the door behind him. She still hasn't looked at me. I go to sit down next to her on the bed and she stands up quickly and motions to the couch across the room. I follow her lead and sink down on the couch. She sits on the couch too, the farthest away from me that she can get. It upsets me, but I know it is only a matter of time before we are together. Before we are moving over to her bed. Before we kissing. She will be trying to remember who Mellark even is after that. It is a satisfying thought and makes me feel a little better. She will come around. I know it.

She begins and I can tell she has rehearsed something so I let her start. "I am sorry, Gale." She finally looks at me. "I am sorry I believed you killed my mom and my sister. The Capitol made me believe it of course, but I am still sorry I bought it. I know you have always helped my family and that you led them to the woods and got them out of District 12. You saved them from the bombing."

I am shocked. I thought I would have to explain all that. "Who told you?"

She is still looking at me. "Peeta told me about that. So did Prim."

Great. We can't go five minutes without Mellark coming into the conversation, but I steer clear of annoying her just yet.

"I am glad you know the truth. Is there anything you want to know?"

She nods. "Yes, I want to know if Peeta's family made it out."

I shake my head no, angry that this is what she asked me first. "No, his father and brothers were in the bakery when a bomb hit. They died. I am not sure what happened to his mother, but she is not here. I am sure she died as well."

She nods and I see tears in her eyes. "His father was so kind to me. He brought me bread before the first games."

I nod and then I continue. "What else would you like to know?"

"I want to know why you cornered me in my hospital room. I want to know why you were angry with me."

I take a deep breath and begin my speech, I have also rehearsed. "I was angry, Catnip. I was angry that you believed Mellark, but that you didn't believe in me. I was jealous. I was angry. I missed you so much. It killed me to watch you in the first games fall for him and it destroyed me in the second games when I saw how in love with him you were. I just wanted a chance to tell you how I feel about you. I think you owe it to me and to yourself to see both sides here." I finish and I am impressed with myself, but she is looking at me strangely.

"What do you mean I OWE it to you? We have been friends for years, Gale. You never even appeared remotely interested in me until I came home after being in the games with Peeta. You never told me how you felt. So, would you tell me now so it is no longer hanging over our heads? Would you be honest with me now?"

"Yes, I will. I am in love with you Katniss. I have been for years. I want to be with you. I want to marry you. I want to devote my life to you and to our family. You know you love me too."

She stands up and walks across the room away from me with her hands raised. "Gale, you have always been my best friend. I love you…as a friend. I am sorry, but I am not in love with you. I am in love with Peeta."

I stand up and go to stand next to her and when she tries to move away I grab her arm and she winces. "You do not love, Mellark! He is brainwashing you! You only think you love him because of what you went through at the Capitol! You are stronger than that! You are better than him! Why would you want to be with the man who left you in the arena alone so you had to face the Capitol-"

She responds by smacking me hard across the face. Her eyes are on fire and I can see rage in them as well. "Don't you dare say that he left me in that arena! You have no idea what it was like in there. He was trying to sacrifice his life so I could have mine. He even showed me a picture of you and said he wanted me to live so we could have a future together. He wanted me to have a future! Don't you ever mock him again or talk about him that way. Peeta Mellark is the kindness, most compassionate man I have ever known and I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM! Not YOU!" She finishes and I feel even more anger course through my veins.

Her words have hurt me so much and I need to make her see reason. She has to see reason. I grab her by the shoulders and shake her. Her eyes go glassy and I am still shaking her until she hears me. "You love me, Catnip! We belong together."

She doesn't say a word, but her eyes frighten me. I finally let go of her shoulders and she tries to back away and I grab her wrist. I pull her close to me and she fights against me. I am so overcome with rage that I don't even think. I slap her across the face for fighting me. She doesn't cry out, she doesn't react. She won't even look at me. Her glassy eyed gaze is focused on the floor. I am so focused on her lack of reaction that I don't hear him enter the room. I feel her ripped from my grasp. He lays her gently on the couch before turning around to face me. His eyes are mad with fiery flames. Peeta Mellark is actually terrifying at that moment…winning as the boy in love…as always. He doesn't even question me, he just punches me in the face…hard. I see stars and he punches me a few more times before he picks me up by my shirt and throws me into the hallway. I hit the wall on the other side and sink to the bottom.

His voice is full of rage and hatred. "If you ever touch her again, I will kill you Gale Hawthorne! You don't talk to her! You don't look at her! Don't even speak her name!" With that he slams the door, locks it and leaves me in the hall to wonder what they hell I had just done. What is wrong with me? Why did I hurt her? I get to my feet and walk down the hall to my room. I collapse on my bed and take one of the pills on my nightstand. President Coin had prescribed these to help me with my anger. Obviously…I needed a stronger dosage.

**What do you think? I hope I didn't go too far with Gale here…it will make sense later! I have the entire story mapped out and this needed to be in here. Please review! **


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Peeta's P.O.V

I just wanted to check on her and see how she was doing with Gale. If I was being completely honest with myself, I was a little jealous. I also knew that Katniss was still in a delicate state and that she was still hiding something from me. Until I find out what that is, I am going to be way overprotective of her. The door is slightly ajar and I push it open a little. What I see in front of me shocks me. Gale is actually shaking her. She tries to pull away and he grabs her wrist and then he actually hit her. I never thought Gale would hurt her. I never would have left her with him if I had thought that possible. I thought he loved her as much as I did. I am processing all these feelings as I race across the room. I pull Katniss out of his grasp and gently help her sit down on the couch. Her eyes frighten me. They are glassy with no emotion at all. When Gale struck her, she did not cry out. She did not move a muscle. It is terrifying.

After making sure she is safely out of his grasp, I turn to face Gale. Something in my expression must have actually frightened him. I am so mad I could strangle him, but I would never do that. This is not the Hunger Games anymore and I will never kill another human being again…except for President Snow of course. I settle for punching him in the face a few times. He doesn't fight back. He seems upset with himself, too. Something is off with him tonight.

My voice is full of rage and hatred. "If you ever touch her again, I will kill you Gale Hawthorne! You don't talk to her! You don't look at her! Don't even speak her name!" Gale is backing up for the door. I pick him up by the shirt and I throw him into the hallway and slam the door. I know that something must be wrong with Gale because I really don't believe he would intentionally hurt Katniss, but I don't have time to worry about that right now. I have to worry about Katniss,

She has not moved one inch since I placed her on the couch. She is staring off into space and murmuring to herself quietly. I sit down beside her on the couch and she doesn't even notice me. She is murmuring, "Not real. Not real." Over and over again. I reach out and take her hand and she pulls back at first. I try not to feel hurt knowing what is happening to her is not about me.

"It's Peeta. Gale is gone. You are safe." She starts rocking back and forth and I put an arm around her trembling shoulders. Her eyes are still glassy. She still hasn't looked at me. "Are you okay?"

She nods briefly still not looking at me. I reach out and cup her face in my hands and turn her to face me. Her eyes are still glassy but they focus on me. The more they focus on me the more alive they become. She finally begins to cry and throws her arms around my neck. I hold her close to me and I whisper in her ear. "I am here. You are safe. I will never allow him in here again."

She pulls back and looks me in the eye. "What did I do to make him so mad at me?"

I shake my head. "Something is not right with him, Katniss. I will figure it out."

She continues. "I told him that I love you and that I only love him as a friend, as a brother. He freaked out and started shaking me. I guess I tuned out after that because that is how it started in the Capitol. They would shake me at first before any other form of torture. I guess when Gale did that it just made me go into a panic mode. I am so sorry, Peeta."

"Why are you apologizing to me? You did nothing wrong. Are you sure you are okay?"

She nods. "Thanks to you."

"Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight or do you want to sleep in mine? There is no way I am ever going to sleep without you again."

She smiles at me. "Your room sounds wonderful."

I grin at her and I know we are both thinking about last night. The beginning of our new life together. I still know that something is not right with her, but I will not let anything happen to her. I will protect her from anyone, everyone, even herself.

I lift her up and into my arms. She lays her head against my chest and kisses my neck leisurely. I let out a gasp in spite of myself, so she continues her assault on my neck while running her hands up and down my chest beneath the thin fabric of my shirt. I need no further directions. I whisk her out of the room and next door into my room. We have the whole night to enjoy one another and then our whole life together. I loved this woman with a fire I didn't even know was possible. She is my everything.

Gale's Point of View

My head is cloudy and full of visions. Did I really hit Katniss? Did I shake her? Why did I do it? Why can't I really recall it clearly? As soon as my anger took me over it was like a whole other person emerged. A person who didn't care who lived or who died as long as he was okay. As long as I could have what I wanted. I was not like that, but I contacted the doctors in thirteen after this happened with Katniss. I told them everything and didn't leave anything out.

I also told them about the medication that President Coin prescribed. The doctor asked to see the medicine so I went and got it. As soon as the doctor saw the bottle, he had it figured out!

"Gale, what are you taking this medication for?"

"Anger management issues. Why?"

"This is not medicine for you to take to avoid a mood swing, quite the opposite. This medication makes you less inhibited, like alcohol. It also makes you violent. You will lash out at anyone who doesn't agree with you."

I know it is true. Now the question is why. Why did President Coin give me this medication? The answer is clear as a bell in my head. "She wants me to kill Katniss, so that Peeta will lead the rebellion without her and he will kill me."

Like hell. I am not going to let that happen! I am going to find out why she did this to me and then she is going to pay.

**What do you think? I know it is a little boring in these chapters but it picks up soon. She goes with the Star Squad with Peeta to help.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Thank you to all who added my story and for the reviews. The more reviews I get the faster I write. Thank you all!**

**Chapter 22 – Peeta's Point of View**

I wake and glance over at her sleeping form. She is the most beautiful person I have ever seen inside and out. I am wide awake even though neither of us did much sleeping last night. I gently trace circles up and down her arms. The needle marks and bruises are slowly disappearing.

I am still worried about the thoughts she is keeping hidden from me, but I will never allow anything to happen to her. I kiss her cheek and then go take a shower. I let the warm water calm my racing heart. I am still so angry with Gale. I need to know why he struck her – something just seems amiss to me. I have been jealous of Gale Hawthorne my whole life and I know he would not have hurt her on purpose, or at least I hadn't thought so. I finish a shower, wrap a towel around my waist, and hurry back to Katniss. I feel anxious if I leave her for too long.

I gently wake her with a kiss on the lips and she smiles at me before returning the kiss. "Good morning beautiful."

She giggles. "Morning."

"Care to join me in the bathroom? You can take a shower. I will stay with you."

She stands up with me and can't stop smiling. "Are you telling me I stink?"

"Absolutely not, maybe I just want to help you get into the shower."

I give her another long kiss that becomes more heated than I intended. I pull away and walk with her into the bathroom. She is still a little frightened of being alone. She is only in one of my shirts and her underwear. God she is sexy. I cannot stop staring at her and I cannot believe that this beautiful woman is mine. I help her off with her shirt and she slides her underwear down. She smiles shyly at me before pulling my towel away and pulling me into the shower with her.

The warm water engulfs us as we kiss frantically. I know we are in the middle of a war. I know my family is gone. I know we have all been through so much, but right now I don't care about any of that. Right now I am so happy. So in love.

I never thought she would love me this way. I never imagined in my wildest dreams she would love me like this. I shampoo her hair for her and help her rinse it. I comb through the long tangles with my fingers. She moans softly and she runs her fingers through my hair and down my body. It is the best and longest shower either of us has ever taken. Exploring and enjoying each other. I will never get tired of this, not ever.

We dry off and lie back on my bed, our bed, in our towels and just hold each other. We have six more days of freedom before we have to start training for the war. I want to tell her everything. I want to make her feel safe, secure, loved.

I wrapped my arms even more tightly around her and speak softly in her ear. "I've loved you my whole life. I can't recall a time before I loved you. I remember your voice when you sang the first day of school. I remember how strong you have always been. I remember giving you the bread. I remember everything about you. About us."

She turns over so she is facing me and I pull her closely into my arms again. "Why didn't you ever talk to me?"

"I guess I was afraid you would reject me. So, I just watched you and helped you when I could. I made sure my dad gave you more than a fair trade for anything you brought in. I beat up that little boy who made you cry at school in first grade. I wrote you poems. I painted you pictures, but I was too afraid to actually open up to you. My mom told me you would never look at me. She watched me watch you. She told me that you would never want someone like me. She said you were a Seam brat, but that you were way too good for me. I believed her. I still do. You are way too good for me, but when you volunteered for Prim in the games I knew I had to tell you. I knew that I couldn't live in District 12 without you. When my name was called, I was almost at peace with it. I made my plan. I would do anything to protect you. Anything to save you. I would finally tell you how I felt."

She grins at me. "You told the whole world before you told me."

I laugh. "It was easier to tell the whole world…you were the challenge."

"Then I beat you up."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far…"

She brushes her hands over my cheeks. I see tears in her eyes. "You are so much more than I deserve. I love you so much. I am sorry it took my so long to see it. You are my soul mate, Peeta Mellark. I can't live without you. I cannot believe you did all those things for me. Why?"

I bring my hands up and push her damp hair out of her expressive eyes. "Because, I love you and always will. I have always wanted to protect you. I failed you last time. I would never have been able to live with myself if you didn't come back to me. If something had happened to you…"

I see a wary look in her eyes, but when I look again she has hidden it. What are you hiding? "You did not fail me. In that arena, I realized I was in love with you. I have known since we were in the cave that I cared for you and that I wanted to be with you, but in the Quarter Quell I knew."

"When?" I need to know when she fell in love with me. What I actually did to make myself worthy of her love.

"When you were electrocuted by the force field and your heart stopped. I was hysterical. I just kept thinking that if you did not come back then I was going to give up. That was the first time I knew I was in love with you."

"The first?"

"Yes, the second time was when we were on the beach, when we had to stay up to guard. Our kisses that night. I wanted more of you. I wanted all of you. If Finnick hadn't interrupted us, I wouldn't have stopped it."

Her words make my heart hammer in my chest. I feel so much joy and longing. I feel incredible. She is incredible. "I wouldn't have stopped it either."

I lean into her then and we kiss passionately, deeply. Longing and desire stretch throughout my entire body. Six days of bliss like this before we have to train, and I am going to love each and every moment of it.

Please tell me what you think. REVIEW!

**The next chapter Gale will want to talk to Peeta and he also confronts Katniss. STAY TUNED!** **Please REVIEW!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 – Katniss's Point of View**

Peeta was sleeping comfortably. He looked so peaceful. We had spent the last three days together. We had only left his room to eat. We still had four more days like this before we had to train for the war. Just the thought of going back to the Capitol filled me with silent dread. I made a decision though. I will be their mockingjay. I will make sure that President Snow dies. I have to do this to ensure Peeta's safety.

I haven't had any nightmares since I started spending every night in Peeta's bed. I have been fighting my thoughts though. When Peeta is asleep, that is when my mind wanders. I am having doubts about leaving Peeta now. I don't know if I can tear myself away from him even if it is for his own good. I know he deserves a better life than I can give him. Am I really so selfish to deny him that? No, I am not. I will enjoy this time with him and when it is time for me to go I will go. I have to make sure he is 100% safe first.

I gaze at his sleeping form, at the smile on his face. I love him so much. So so much. I get up very quietly, careful not to wake him. I need to get some clothes out of my room. I cannot live in Peeta's clothes forever, although I would like to do that. I tiptoe out of the room and make my way silently to my room next door. I pull out a small back and start throwing clothes into it. I dig under all the clothes and pull out the parachute and open it revealing the perfect pearl. I managed to keep this while I was in the Capitol. I hid it in my sock and since they never gave me new clothes they never even noticed. I fold it back into the parachute gently and put it in the bag as well.

"Catnip?"

I freeze. Gale. I cannot stop the fear that trills up my spine, suffocating me. I slowly spin to face him clutching my bag to my chest.

"I need to get back to Peeta."

He steps in my path, but doesn't touch me.

"Please, just give me a minute."

His voice is soft. I sigh and set my bag down in front of me, but step back a little. He seems to understand.

"A minute." I mutter. I hope Peeta doesn't wake up and see this. He may destroy Gale.

"I figured out why I hurt you. Please keep this between us, okay?"

I nod.

"President Coin prescribed me with some medication the day you got here. It was supposed to help me control my anger and relieve my anxiety, but the doctors told me yesterday that was a lie. It makes me anger, less inhibited, and dangerous. She wanted me to hurt you, Katniss. She wanted me to kill you so that Peeta would kill me and he would be left to lead the rebellion."

I don't know Coin that well, but I believe it. She seems like a cold, cruel person. "I believe you."

"I just want you to know that I have stopped taking the medication. I will never hurt you again, I promise. I am so sorry."

"It's okay, Gale. I knew something had to be wrong. I am also sorry that I believed you hurt my sister and my mother."

"Me too, but I am also sorry I never told you how I felt before the games. Can I ask you something?"

"Okay."

"Would it have changed anything? If I had told you how I felt, would it have changed anything for you? I mean, would you still have wanted Peeta?"

I consider this carefully and then shake my head. "No, I don't think it would have changed anything. I didn't plan on falling for anyone. Peeta kind of snuck up on me. I don't think anything could have stopped how I feel about him now. I am sorry."

He looks down and shrugs. "I guess I can stop wondering 'what if' now."

I want to reassure him. "Trust me, Gale. You don't want to be with me anyway. Any life with me is short-lived." I want to take the words back. I just got so comfortable talking to my best friend again that they slipped out and filled the room with poison.

"What? What did you say?" He is looking at me in horror and confusion. I pray he won't figure it out.

"Just forget I said anything, I didn't mean that."

"I think you did. What do you mean short-lived?"

"I just meant that I probably won't be able to make him love me forever-"

"No, no. That is not what you meant. Peeta has loved you forever. What were you saying to me?"

It is all too threatening now. I can't let Gale in on my plan. "Get out!"

He is immovable. He is not going anywhere. I do the only thing I can think of. I cry out for Peeta. "PEETA!" He appears slightly disheveled in his shorts and t-shirt a moment later. He sees Gale and his face changes from panic to rage.

"What in the hell are you doing here with her? I told you to stay the hell away from her!"

What have I done? I don't want them to fight. "Peeta! It's okay. He didn't hurt me. I was just having a flashback is all and I needed you."

It is a lame lie, but Peeta believes me because I look so shaken. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you back to my room."

I nod numbly and pick up my bag by Gale's feet and whisper in his ear. "Leave it alone, please."

He shakes his head indignantly. I can see he knows it is something bad. He turns to Peeta. "Peeta, we need to talk about something. Now."

"I have nothing to say to you, Gale."

"Trust me, you want to hear what I have to tell you about Katniss."

My stomach drops and I fall to the floor by the door. I hear voices swarming around me, but I can't seem to grasp anything they are saying. Blackness floods through me and I fall into a soft, comforting black hole.

**PLEASE REVIEW! LOVED IT? HATED IT? LET ME KNOW!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, favorites, and followers! It means so much! I am so close to 100 reviews so please review! **

Chapter 24 – Peeta's Perspective

I caught Katniss in my arms as she fainted. I cradle her head in my lap. Gale kneels next to us. We lay her on the bed. After she is comfortably settled, I tuck the covers around her and turn to face Gale. I am still standing protectively close to Katniss, so he cannot come near.

"Start talking."

He looks down and then focuses on me again. "I came to talk to Katniss and she said something that really bothered me."

I am intrigued now. "I'm listening."

"She told me that she was in love with you and then I asked her if I had ever stood a chance. Like if I had told her I loved her long ago would she still want to be with you."

This is one of my biggest fears, but I swallow the lump in my throat and turn my back to Gale. I brush Katniss's hair back from her face and whisper. "What did she say?"

Gale doesn't hesitate. "She said it wouldn't have mattered. She said she would have fallen in love with you anyway."

I whirl around, my heart soaring. "Really?"

He smirks at me. "Don't be so surprised. She loves you. She is hopelessly in love with you. I never really stood a chance."

"Well thanks for that, but I don't see why we had to talk about that."

"I am about to tell you why. I take it you have noticed she is hiding something from you."

That makes me perk up and take notice. Does he actually know her secret? I need to know what it is she is hiding from me.

Gale continues. "I thought you knew something wasn't right. You are so in tuned to her all the time so I knew you would have noticed something. She was trying to make me feel better about not loving me. She said, 'You don't want to be with me anyway. Any life with me is short-lived.'"

I knew it. Somewhere inside my heart I knew it. I knew she was still planning to hurt herself. She was still planning to leave me. The Capitol still had its claws in her. "No." That is the only word that actually comes out of my mouth.

"What did she mean by that?" Gale questions.

I swallow hard and just flat out say it. "The Capitol has programmed her to kill herself, remember? I guess she is still planning to do just that."

"How do we stop it?"

I sigh. "I will do anything to protect her. She can't control these feelings. She thinks she is worthless. I just have to keep loving her and I need to make sure she isn't alone. I will thwart her plan. I will save her."

Gale smiles at me and places a hand on my shoulder. "I believe you. Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, so are you ever going to tell me why you snapped the other day?"

"She can tell you when she wakes up. Take care of her, Peeta." Gale nods at me and then walks out.

"I will, I promise."

**OKAY, I know this is a short chapter, but I will be publishing another tonight or in the morning. The next chapter will be full of Peeta and Katniss. I hope you love it! I am half way done with it and it is going to be a long one! Please review!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Thank you for all the reviews! I reached 100 reviews! YAY! I hope you like the next installment. Enjoy. **

**Chapter 25 – Peeta's Point of View**

I am relieved to know what she has been hiding from me. When she wakes up, I will confront her about it. I also want to know what was going on with Gale. She finally begins to stir and I hold her more closely on her bed and caress her cheek with my fingers carefully. Her eyes open slowly and then dart around anxiously before she sees my face. After seeing my face, the anxiety leaves her but she still looks guarded.

"What did he tell you?" She asks me in a soft voice.

"He told me that you weren't planning on staying with me forever."

She doesn't know what to say and seems to be struggling with her words. "I can't really explain it…I just know that I can't…I can't let you be stuck with me forever. You shouldn't have to take care of someone who cannot care for themselves. I want you to get married, to have children, to be happy."

Tears are coursing down her cheeks and I gently wipe them away before pulling her even closer to me in the small bed. I am holding her face in my hands and I force her to meet my eyes. "Listen to me, Katniss. I will never get married if you die. I will never have children if you die. I will never be happy if you die. You cannot believe that part of your mind that is telling you that you are worthless because you aren't. You are incredible. We are going to bring down the Capitol and then you will see. Maybe you will finally see yourself clearly."

She looks at me curiously. "You wouldn't want someone else if I was gone?"

I don't hesitate and look deeply into her troubled eyes. "No, I wouldn't. In fact, if you take your own life you will be killing me."

This makes her sob and she pushes me away. "Don't say that!"

I grab her wrist and pull her to me. "It would be a shame that you suffered so much to keep me alive only to kill me by killing yourself."

Her eyes are alive with fire. She is mad at me. I can deal with mad. I remember when she was mad at me in the arena for gathering the berries where I could not answer her mockingjay tune. She had pushed me and yelled at me. This fire in her eyes reminded me of that…of the old her. My heart beat picks up hopefully.

"Why the hell would you do that, Peeta?" She pushes me, hard. "WHY?" She shoves me back into the corner. I let her. I want her to feel this anger. I want her to make the connection. "Why would you just throw your life away like that?"

I am all the way in the corner now and her hands push on my chest and then stay there against me. She is breathing heavily and I see the anger slowly fade from her eyes. I use this opportunity to try and get through to her. "Yes, Katniss, why would anyone throw a life away like that?" She leans against me and tears cascade down her cheeks.

"I remember. I remember pushing you like this in the arena. When I was afraid that you had eaten the nightlock berries." She smiles at me and I smile back.

"Yes, you were quite angry with me. Very similarly to how you are feeling right now." I see the fire come back into her eyes and she pushes me against the wall. I think she is going to keep pushing me when suddenly her lips are inches from mine. She is breathing heavily. Her balled up fists have drop to run up my chest gently. My breathing accelerates and I crush my lips down on hers. This is the fiercest encounter we have had yet. Our kisses are rough, thorough, and scorching hot. When I pull away for breath she pulls off my shirt and I yank her shirt off of her, ripping it in the process and not caring at all. We continue our assault on one another and I we are still kissing heatedly. I pick her up and turn her around so she is now in the corner. I pin her arms above her head with one hand and push her pants down with the other hand. It is by far the most intense we have ever been. We are desperate for one another. We are starving for each other. After, we lay together cuddled up in her bed sated after making love.

She turns over and buries her face in my chest. "I love you, Peeta Mellark."

I smile and caress her hair. "I love you, Katniss Everdeen."

We lay like that for a long time and eventually we drift off into sleep.

An hour later, Katniss's quiet sobs awaken me. She has her back to me and has the sheet in her mouth to try and quiet the sobs that rack her body. I move closer to her and trace soft circles on her naked back. She tries to stop crying, but can't. I pull her into my arms, pulling her back to my bare chest and holding her tightly. "It's all right, baby. Just let it all out. Let it out." She sobs for a while and then finally stops. I wait for her to speak, knowing she will tell me when she is ready.

"I…I love you so much. I never knew I would ever feel this way."

"Well I love you, too. I never thought you would love me."

She kisses my wrist and whispers. "I love you more than my own life."

I wait for her to continue, knowing she is going somewhere with this. "I just…I feel so happy with you, but then I hear those thoughts in my head telling me to kill myself. Today for the first time, I was able to distinguish them from my real thoughts."

"Katniss, that's great."

"It is?"

"Yes, you will be able to push them out once you realize they are not really your thoughts."

She nods at this and snuggles closer to me. "I guess that's progress."

"Yes. So, Gale told me you would tell me why he hurt you."

She turns to face me. "President Coin gave him pills that she told him would help him with anger and anxiety. It turns out they actually bring out those mood swings and make it so he has no control over himself."

"Why would she do that to him?"

Katniss takes a deep breath. "She wanted him to kill me, Peeta. She wanted him to kill me, so that you would kill him. She just wants you to be the face of this rebellion and not me."

I am stunned, but I don't doubt it for a second. It all makes so much sense. Coin agreeing to rescue Katniss because I would not cooperate. Coin allowing me to kill Gale in retribution for killing Katniss, so that I would help her take down the Capitol. It is so sick and so twisted and yet I know it is the truth.

"The only way to protect you from her is to go along with her rebellion."

She nods at me. She has come to the same conclusion. "After we take down Snow, then what?"

I look into her eyes and say something that I would never actually have considered saying at any other time in my life. But when Katniss is being threatened I am a different person, more dangerous. "We kill Coin."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 – Peeta's Point of View**

I should be more upset about deciding to kill yet another person in power. My list is getting a little lengthy. President Snow. Coin. I don't even think of them as people anymore. They are people who want to harm Katniss, so they are the enemy to me. Katniss and I spent three more blissful days together. We rarely left the room. We spent most of each day in bed together. I could feel her spirit with me now. She was getting so much better when she had those thoughts…she was able to control it…most of the time.

Yesterday she had a particularly rough flashback. We had just finished making love and we were getting ready to take a shower. I left her in the bathroom for a minute and when I came back she was sitting on the floor across the room from the shower. She kept repeating. "Not real" over and over again. She told me that they used water torture at some point and also held her under water many times when she wouldn't talk about the rebellion. She could handle the thoughts when I was with her, but when she was alone she couldn't face them.

We were able to work through the flashback. She also agreed to sit down with Gale. We told him our plan to go ahead with the rebellion and then kill Coin. He readily agreed with this. He never thought he would ever hurt Katniss and because of Coin he had. We all decided to keep it between the three of us so that no one would know what we were talking about. I don't even trust Haymitch with this information. I don't trust him anymore. Katniss thinks we should tell Finnick and I am okay with that. I actually trust Finnick Odair.

We told Finnick and he immediately agreed with us that it should go no further than the four of us. I knew he wouldn't burden Annie with it. Finnick also told us that he and Annie were getting married in three days. I told him I would make the wedding cake. Gale had brought all of the dresses from Katniss's home in Victor's village when he went back after the bombing. Katniss helped Annie pick one for her special day. It made Annie so happy to have a beautiful dress and Katniss was happy to do it.

Later that evening, she told me it was hard for her to go through the dresses because Cinna designed them all. She missed him. I missed him too, but not like Katniss did. I knew they were good friends. Katniss kept the red dress she had worn on the victory tour to wear at the wedding. I remember that dress. It was the dress she had on the night I proposed to her. I will propose to her for real very soon. I meant that proposal too, but now that I know we are both madly in love I plan to do it again. I plan to do it the way I would have liked to have done it before.

Two days before the wedding, Katniss and I are in the kitchen. I have finished baking Finnick and Annie's wedding cake and I am getting ready to frost it. Katniss never leaves my side. She tells me that I keep all the pain away. I completely understand. She keeps the pain away for me as well. I am trying to decide how to get the yellow the precise color of the dress Katniss gave to Annie. I am mixing in colors when I feel Katniss step up behind me. She wraps one arm around my waist and gently kisses the back of my neck. I turn to face her expecting a full embrace when she grins at me and throws a handful of flour in my face. She smiles at me sweetly and I grin at her. This means war.

I pick up a spatula covered in yellow frosting and wrap my arms around her waist before she can squirm away. I wipe the spatula on her neck and it drips down her arms. She squeals in delight and I smile at the sound. I love this carefree feeling. I love her. God, do I ever love her. She is so perfect. She manages to get the spatula and splatters some on my neck as well. My fingers are covered in frosting. I grab her hands and we are both covered in flour and frosting. She stops laughing and lifts one of my hands to her mouth and licks the frosting, sucking on my skin softly. I don't expect it and I moan softly. She takes this as encouragement and moves to my neck, licking the frosting away. I groan and then take one of her fingers in my mouth and start to do the same to her. She moans more loudly than she intended, but doesn't seem to care. I push the stuff on the counter aside and lift her to sit on it and I tackle her neck. She wraps her legs around me and we begin to kiss frantically until…

"Jeez! Do you guys ever stop mauling one another?" I turn around to see Johanna smirking at us. Katniss blushes and I laugh.

"Nope." I say to answer her question.

She rolls her eyes. "Peeta, I need to borrow Katniss for some girl talk. I am dying for some girl talk. You don't mind do you?"

Of course I mind. Katniss doesn't look interested in girl talk in fact she looks like she is dreading it. But if I don't let them talk I will never finish this cake and the wedding is tomorrow!

"It's okay with me. Take care of her. Please don't leave her alone."

"Of course I won't, brainless." She can mock me all she wants. As long as she protects Katniss.

Katniss laughs softly and plants a kiss on my cheek. I am quick to reassure her.

"I will be right here. Don't worry. You are safe with Johanna."

She nods and smiles. "I want to tell her our plan, Peeta."

I nod, agreeing with her. It seems wrong to leave Johanna out.

I watch the two girls walk out of the room. I feel her loss immediately. I sigh and go to work on the cake. I can't wait to finish it and then pick up where Katniss and I left off. I hope I have extra frosting left…

**What did you think? Next chapter, the wedding of Finnick and Annie. More Katniss and Peeta stuff. Please review! Thank you to all who added my story to your favorites and alerts! I love writing it! Thanks!**


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 – Peeta's POV

I finished the cake and I thought it looked great. I was anxious to finish and get to Katniss. I packed up a small bag with strawberries, frosting, and some type of juice from the refrigerator. Thank goodness Coin let me have anything I wanted out of the kitchen…too bad I was still going to kill her.

I walked down the hall and stopped outside of Katniss's open door. She and Johanna were still talking so I went to my room and set the stuff out. I also lit the three candles I had in my room when there were blackouts in District 13. I was satisfied with the scene. I stepped back out into the hallway, just to tell her I was back when I heard a part of their conversation that made me stop.

"I just don't know what he sees in me, you know?" Her voice is so vulnerable and I am surprised she is opening up to Johanna.

"Are you kidding? You have two guys obsessed with you! You just need to see yourself more clearly brainless! The Capitol messed with your head, but I know you will get yourself back."

Katniss hesitates. "I don't care about Gale like that, but I am crazy in love with Peeta. I just feel so unworthy."

"Well you shouldn't. I mean that. That boy is lucky."

"Thanks for talking to him, Johanna about what went on at the Capitol."

"Of course."

"Also, thank you for not telling him about…"

"It wasn't my place."

"I just can't tell him that."

"Katniss, he would understand."

"I know, but it is so degrading. I just don't want him to know."

"You are going to need to tell him at some point."

"I know, but I can't handle it now. I don't want to disappoint him."

"Katniss, that boy has been in love with you his whole life. This is not going to bother him one little bit. Just tell him."

"I had an episode yesterday. It was pretty mild, but he was so concerned about me. I was remembering the water…I was remembering that hell. He was there with me. We talked it out and I realized just like that…that I was with him, safe, and not alone in that room anymore."

"What makes you think he wouldn't be there for you with this too?"

"He would be…that is why it is too much. He already takes care of me all the time. I don't want to burden him anymore."

"He loves you. You are not a burden to him. Just tell him."

"I will. I just don't know how."

"He will sense that something is off with you…he knows you so well. Start talking."

"Jeez! Thanks Johanna!"

"My pleasure."

"I would like to talk to you more about our time there…I'm so sorry you had to endure that because of me."

"It wasn't because of you! It was all them! Katniss, you are the only reason people are fighting for freedom now! You and your bread boy!"

"Don't call him that!"

"You are the one who told me that story when we were sitting in that prison."

"I know. Well, I am going to catch up with him now. You okay?"

"Yes, thanks for listening Katniss."

"Sure."

"Also, thanks for letting me in on the plan. I will be there for you."

"I know."

Their entire conversation has me baffled. What would she be afraid to tell me about? Why? I go back into my room and sit down on our bed. I don't want her to think I was spying on her…I guess I was. I just want her to let me all the way in…I know she will. I just need to be patient. The door opens and Katniss walks in. She is wearing all white and is a vision as always. Her hair is hanging loosely down her back. She has showered off all of the icing.

She sees me wondering look and smiles. "Johanna helped me out. She also has a little fear of water…we worked through it together I guess."

I nod, glad she was able to do it. I missed her. It has been less than two hours and I missed her so much. She sits next to me on the bed and takes in the candles, the strawberries, and the frosting. She is so incredibly beautiful. I pull her down on the bed with me and hold her close. I need to tell her what I heard. I can't let her think I don't know.

"I…I heard part of your conversation with Johanna."

She sits up and pulls away from me. "You what?"

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was going to tell you I was back and I heard you talking about me. About you not understanding what I see in you."

She doesn't seem angry, but she looks anxious. "What did you hear?"

I look into her eyes and she doesn't look away. "You are hiding something from me."

She looks down then and avoids my eyes. "Yes."

I take her hand in mine and she looks back up at me with tear filled eyes as I question her. "Why?"

She stands up and crosses to the other side of the room. She turns her back to me and sighs. I stand to approach her and her voice stops me. "Because I am ashamed to tell you."

I approach her and wrap my arms around her trembling body. "There is nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel about you."

She swallows and then I lead her to sit down beside me on the bed. She looks down at our entwined hands and I wait for her to begin her story…

**Okay, I know I said Finnick and Annie's wedding was going to be in this chapter, but I need to resolve this last secret between Katniss and Peeta first. Any guesses as to what the secret is? I have already written most of the next chapter. The secret is revealed and the wedding of Finnick and Annie is being written. I promise you it will not involve any sexual assault. Katniss and Peeta shared their first time together and I didn't want anything to taint that. I will try to update tomorrow. please review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! I am so glad people are following my story! I am so glad you all like it! Thank you, also, for all the positive reviews about my writing style. I love to write. Please keep the reviews coming. I wasn't going to finish this until tomorrow, but the reviews made me want to finish it tonight. **

**Chapter 28 – Peeta's Perspective**

"I…I heard part of your conversation with Johanna."

She sits up and pulls away from me. "You what?"

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop. I was going to tell you I was back and I heard you talking about me. About you not understanding what I see in you."

She doesn't seem angry, but she looks anxious. "What did you hear?"

I look into her eyes and she doesn't look away. "You are hiding something from me."

She looks down then and avoids my eyes. "Yes."

I take her hand in mine and she looks back up at me with tear filled eyes as I question her. "Why?"

She stands up and crosses to the other side of the room. She turns her back to me and sighs. I stand to approach her and her voice stops me. "Because I am ashamed to tell you."

I approach her and wrap my arms around her trembling body. "There is nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel about you."

She swallows and then I lead her to sit down beside me on the bed. She looks down at our entwined hands and I wait for her to begin her story…

"I became a different person in the Capitol. You know about what they did to me. You know how they tortured me and how they tried to hijack my mind…but I didn't tell you everything because…" She hesitates and it kills me to see the pain she is in. I wrap my arms even more tightly around her.

She stands up and pulls away from me. She puts a little distance between us trying to speak. "I…I did not tell you about everything. When I was captured…they found out I wasn't pregnant. They knew I had never been pregnant. The guards…they taunted me…told me I would never have children."

I had never thought my lie would hurt her. I only said it to protect her to try and get her out of the games. Now, I am worried what this lie cost her.

"The guards wanted to humiliate me. They would beat me and torture me. They would tell me how worthless I was and how no one would ever want me. They talked about how you had moved on to someone who was much better."

She had told me some of this before, but I had a pit in my stomach and I knew the worst was yet to come.

She turns away from me and faces the wall. I stand to embrace her and she senses it. "Please, I just need to get this out and if you are touching me I know I won't say it. I need to say it…you deserve to know."

I sit back down. It is painful to see her shaking in front of me with her back to me. I fold my hands over my chest and try to keep myself from running to her.

"The doctors took me into one of the medical centers. They didn't tell me anything. I didn't know what was going to happen. It was painful…I was in a lot of pain. After the doctor told me that for the next five years I would be unable to have children."

She is sobbing now as I feel tears slide down my cheeks as well.

She continues. "My first thought was why, I mean, they were going to kill me so why did it matter? Then I figured it out. The guards…the guards wanted to hurt me in another way, but I was rescued the night I had the operation so they didn't get a chance."

She finally turns to face me and her eyes are anxious as if waiting for me to slam a door in her face. I am surprised that she thinks this would change anything. "That is what you were afraid to tell me?"

She nods. "I was so humiliated, Peeta. It's not even that I wanted to have kids right now or anything, but they took away my right to have them. They have already taken so much away from me, from us, that it made me a little crazy. They didn't want us to be able to have a baby if I made it back to you. I think they did it more to take something from me because they didn't really plan on me living after the war since they tried to hijack me. Johanna and I talked about it before we were rescued and we agreed that it was more to hurt me, to punish me."

Her throat closes up and she falls to the ground sobbing and I go to her and hold her tightly in my arms. "This changes nothing. Do you understand me? Nothing." I need her to believe me. Nothing would ever change how much I loved her. Sure I hope we have children someday, but if we couldn't then I would be content to be with just her forever.

She is still crying. "How can you say that? How could this not change everything? I let the doctors do that to me. I let the guards taunt me. I let them hijack me. I believed that horrible woman who said she was with you. How can that not change anything? How can you love me after all that? After all I have done to you."

I don't even hesitate in my response. She needs to hear it. "I love you because you are still you, Katniss. None of that was your fault. You couldn't stop it. You were helpless to stop any of that. If we never have children I will still be happy just being with you. I want to be with you forever. Nothing and I mean nothing will ever change that."

I lift her chin so her eyes focus on mine. "Nothing will change that," I whisper to her. She smiles weakly and brushes away the tears that have fallen down my cheeks. "Damn them for taking that away from you. I am going to make them pay for it all, Katniss. They are going to pay for everything they have taken from us."

She pulls me into a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispers against my neck. I hug her more tightly and then pull back to kiss her. It is a sweet, soft kiss. A kiss that tells her how much I love her. She grins and pulls back. "Now, are we going to talk about why you brought frosting into your bedroom?"

I grin back at her. Happy that she is able to talk about something else. "First of all, it's OUR bedroom. And well, I was hoping you would still be hungry…" My voice trails off and she sits herself on my lap in the center of my floor.

"Starving," she says and my entire body comes alive. Her touch sets my skin on fire. Within a minute, there is no turning back as we explore one another.

Tonight we will enjoy one another again. Tomorrow, we get to watch Finnick and Annie get married. I have a special surprise planned for Katniss tomorrow night after the wedding. Then the following day, we are to report to training. I am ready to end this war and defeat the Capitol, Coin, and anyone else who stands in our way. I am determined to have a happy future with Katniss Everdeen, and no matter what the Capitol thinks it has accomplished it has failed. Nothing could ever keep me away from Katniss and anyone who stands in my way will suffer immensely. I never thought I would be eager to fight, but I am. I most definitely am…some things are worth fighting for.


	29. Chapter 29

Okay, I could not get Chapter 29 to post all together so I am going to make it two chapters since it would not work. The chapter was 2500 words so that might be why it didn't work.

I know a few of you are confused about the Katniss being unable to have kids temporarily. I promise you it will be explained shortly. This chapter will be a light hearted with no drama just love and happiness.

Disclaimer: Remember, I own nothing! Suzanne Collins created these amazing characters and I am just borrowing them for my own spin of her magnificent story.

Chapter 29 – Peeta's Perspective

We enjoyed our night together and I woke up tangled in her arms. Last night was definitely an eventful evening. After we made love, Katniss told me more about the secret she had kept from me. She told me that Johanna had told the doctors here. She told me that she hadn't known it was temporary until the doctors in thirteen told her it was temporary. I am relieved it is temporary in case we want children someday. I am still filled with rage over what happened to my Katniss. I promise myself I will do everything I can to make her happy, to make her forget that horror. I kiss her on the cheek and she smiles in her sleep, scooting closer to me. I hug her tightly. Today, Finnick and Annie are getting married. It is going to be a great day. I cannot wait until after the wedding. I have a big surprise for Katniss. I just hope she likes it. I wake her carefully because I know if she wakes up and I am gone she will have a flashback or get scared.

"Katniss, love, wake up."

She smiles bigger and pulls me down to kiss me. This is the best way to wake up. "I need to take the cake to the right place for the ceremony. Johanna will be here in a few minutes so you guys can get ready together." I don't want her to think she can't be alone, but I am afraid for her to be alone.

"Okay, love you." She says sleepily and I smile at her. I don't think I will ever get tired of those beautiful words coming from her mouth.

"I love you, too." I smile at her and then kiss her again softly. I have a lot to do before the ceremony and I want tonight to be perfect for her. I get dressed and then hand her one of my shirts and she pulls on a pair of my shorts. It does something to me to see her sitting there in my clothes. If I had enough time, I would show her what it does to me but I restrain myself and finish getting dressed. Gale brought some of my clothes back for me too. I will be wearing one of the suits to the wedding, but I have a lot to do before then. So for now, I am just in regular clothes.

"Did someone call for some help getting ready for today?" I see Johanna standing in the doorway smiling. "Thank God you have clothes on! There is only so much of you I can tolerate seeing, no offense, Peeta."

Katniss laughs and I shake my head. "No offense taken. I gotta go. I will pick you up at your room for the wedding." I say to Katniss as I lean down to kiss her. Then I turn to Johanna. "Not you though, no offense."

"Oh please, like I really want to show up with you two lovebirds! Hopefully someone there will be someone there who will catch my eye." She winks at me and I laugh and turn to Katniss one more time.

"I will see you in a few hours, I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Oh please! It is only going to be two hours! How will you ever survive the agonizing minutes without one another."

"Bye Johanna." I say and close the door behind me.

*** TWO HOURS LATER ***

After double checking that everything is perfect, I stand in the mirror one last time. I am wearing a black tux with a deep red under shirt and tie. Katniss will be wearing a crimson colored dress as well. We are the best man and the maid of honor, so I am glad we have all these matching outfits. I check my pocket making sure it is there…it is. I take a deep breath and leave my room. Johanna is just sliding out into the hallway. She shuts the door before I can see in.

"Well, don't you clean up nice."

"Thanks, Johanna, you too." Johanna is wearing an emerald green dress. I know it is another one of Katniss's. I remember how it looked on Katniss. Amazing.

"Now, remember to thank me later for making your woman a knockout."

I get a little defensive. "She has always been a knockout."

She sighs. "Gag me. See you guys at the wedding." She takes off down the hall and I knock on Katniss's door.

"Come in." I hear her call out to me.

I walk into the room just as she steps out of the bathroom. My breath catches as I take in the sight of the woman I love. Her long dark hair is hanging around her face in a frenzy of curls. She is wearing a small amount of makeup and the red dress clings to her form to perfection. The straps are draped down her shoulders and the dress is a little low cut in the front and then her back is almost completely bare before the dress picks up at the waist again and flows down to her ankles. She is wearing high heeled red shoes. She looks amazing.

"Wow." It is all I can think to say and she grins at me.

"You too." She says softly. I can't wait for this day.

"Shall we?" I say reaching out my hand for hers.

"Yes." She whispers before pulling me closer to her and giving me a deep, meaningful kiss. I extend the kiss and run my hands down her bare back. I pull back then because I know if I go any farther we will be late to the wedding.

I grasp her hand tightly in my own and lead her out into the hallway. We get to go above ground for the wedding ceremony. I know Katniss is looking forward to being outside and I can't wait to enjoy it with her.


	30. Chapter 30

SECOND HALF OF WHAT I WROTE TODAY! HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

Chapter 30 - Katniss's Point of View

Peeta leads me outside. I inhale the fresh air and feel myself relax. I love the outdoors. I have missed the outdoor weather so much. I spin in a slow circle and Peeta pulls me close to him. His hands are always so gentle, so loving. I caress his cheek gently and stare deeply into his electric blue eyes before we start walking again. Peeta and I part ways as I go in to help Annie and he goes in to be with Finnick.

Annie smiles at me. "I know we don't know each other very well. Thank you so much for the dress and for helping keep Finnick alive for me in the arena."

I smile back at her. "I think Finnick is the one who kept Peeta and I alive, but you are welcome. Are you ready?" I hear the music swell and realize someone must have some kind of instrument.

I walk down the aisle and see Peeta standing beside Finnick looking as amazing as ever. His eyes never leave mine. Even when Finnick and Annie are saying their vows our eyes are glued to one another. After the ceremony, I am brought back to reality and watch Finnick and Annie enjoy their first kiss as husband and wife.

After the ceremony, there is dancing and cake. Peeta holds me as close to him as possible. We dance every song together. I notice Gale watching us. After we finish another slow dance, he approaches us. "May I cut in?" He asks Peeta.

You can tell Peeta would rather cut off his arm than let me go, but he tries to be gracious. I watch Peeta as he walks over to my sister and starts to dance around with her…acting all goofy and silly. I love him so much. God, I love him.

I feel uncomfortable in Gale's arms and I make sure there is a lot of space between us. I don't want to be that close to Gale. I am not in love with him and I know that. I hope he knows it too. I am feeling awkward with the uncomfortable silence when he finally speaks to me.

"I'm sorry for everything, Katniss."

"I know." What else can I say to him?

"I know that I never really stood a chance. I know now that it always would have been Peeta in the end."

"Yes."

"I just want my friend back. Hopefully, someday, that can happen for us."

I smile at him for the first time and nod. I want that too. "That would be nice."

The song ends. He kisses my hand and then drops my hand. He wraps me in a quick hug. "Talk to you later, Katniss."

"Bye, Gale."

Peeta is next to me a minute after Gale walks away and he looks relieved to hold me again. I see a nervous look in his eyes and I am quick to make him feel better.

"He apologized to me and said he hoped we could get our friendship back."

Peeta nods. "That would be good for both of you."

I agree. "Yes, I think it would."

He smiles at me again. "Come here. I have a surprise for you."

A surprise? He was so good to me. He always wanted to make me happy. What did I ever do to deserve Peeta Mellark?

He pulls me behind him and I see that we are walking away from everyone else and towards the woods surrounding District 13. A soldier is guarding the gate, but when he sees Peeta he steps aside to let us through. I look at Peeta in shock. I wonder how he got the guard to agree to this. He keeps pulling me after him and I struggle to catch up in my high heels. He realizes this and pauses so I can take my shoes off and walk barefoot towards the place I am dying to go, the woods.

We make it to a clearing in the woods and I see a blue blanket has been laid out. There are candles surrounding the blanket and a bottle of champagne chilling with two glasses next to it. There is also a picnic basket. Peeta picks me up into his arms and carries me over to the blanket and sets me down gently.

I take in the scene. I can't believe he did all this for me. "How did you do all of this?"

He smiles and sits down beside me on the blanket opening the champagne. "Well, President Coin still likes me, for now. I thought I should take advantage of that before her demise." He grins at me and I laugh.

He hands me a glass of champagne and I take a little sip. It is so sweet. He opens the picnic basket and pulls out a plate of freshly baked cheese buns and a bowl of strawberries with cream. I can't believe he did all this today in just two hours! He is looking at me with such an intense look. A look so full of longing, love, and awe. I can't understand why he would look at me like this. Why he wants to be with me is a mystery to me. Peeta could have anyone he wants. Fortunately, for me, he wants me. I love him more than I thought I could ever love someone. If I was being completely honest, I loved him as much if not more than I even loved my precious little sister. He was the perfect person inside and out. I am so grateful that I was captured by the Capitol and not him. What would they have done to him? What would happen to the wonderful, sweet, person sitting right beside me? A shiver a little. I am so glad it was me tortured. Even if I never get over the flashbacks or the tortures, I am glad I at least was able to save him from that horrors of that. I would go through that all over again to protect him. I know I would.

We eat the bread in silence for a few minutes just enjoying each other's company before he stops and takes my hand. He looks nervous. I am wondering why. What could he possibly have to be nervous about? For one crazy moment, I think he is going to leave me. Then he starts to speak in his gentle, soothing, and loving way and I know he would never do that to me. "Katniss Everdeen, I love you. I love you more than my own life. I want to be with you forever." He pulls a small box out of his coat pocket and opens it. I am blown away when I see a ring in the box and the pearl he gave me in the Quarter Quell is the stone on the ring. I gasp. I thought I had lost it. I couldn't find it in my bag yesterday and I was so worried I had lost it. He must have taken it to get it made into a ring. His thoughtfulness brings tears to my eyes. "Will you marry me?" I can't believe he thinks I would refuse. He is looking at me with so much love in his eyes, but also fear. He is afraid I will reject him. I don't have the power to reject him. I love him too much, even though I know he could do better than me. I fight off those thoughts and focus on this wonderful surprise and our future together.

Before he has time to react I launch myself at him and we fall backwards on the blanket with me on top of him. "Yes…yes…yes. Peeta, of course I will marry you. I love you too." He gives a loud whoop of glee and pulls me up to stand with him. He twirls me around in his arms and then hugs me close before pulling the ring out of the box and placing it on the ring finger on my left hand. The next thing I know, we are kissing madly, passionately. His kisses are enthusiastic and thorough. He is loving every moment of it, as am I.

We end up back on the blanket and we kiss feverishly. My skin tingles and my body has come alive with fiery need. Peeta always makes me feel this way. He awakens feelings in me that I didn't were possible. Every nerve ending in my body feels like a live wire. I give myself over to the incredible sensations of his lips on my throat, of his hands roaming over my body. I feel his hands roaming all over my clothed body and I long to change that. I want him, right here and right now. I pull off his coat and then begin to unbutton his shirt. He slows me down. He wants to take this slow and enjoy every single moment of it.

As he looks deeply into my eyes, he finds the zipper on the side of my dress and unzips it very slowly. All the while, kissing my neck slowly, leisurely. This is a night I will remember for the rest of my life. Peeta and I taking our time to explore one another, to love one another. I realize this is when I feel like a whole person when Peeta and I are joined together as one. We make love three times before we finally decide we should head back to District 13. The sky was turning an ashy color and I knew that we had spent the night out here together. I could not wait to marry Peeta Mellark, my love, my soul mate, my life. I had something to live for, well someone to live for. I couldn't wait to tell Prim all about it.

This is my longest chapter yet! Please let me know what you think! I hope you guys liked it. Please review so I know how you feel about it. Assuming I get some reviews, I will finish the next chapter and get it posted tomorrow if people are still interested in the story. The next couple of chapters will be about getting ready to take on the Capitol. The plan that Katniss, Peeta, Johanna, Finnick, and Gale have come up with to punish those who hurt them. It will also be different from the book. Some characters who die in Mockingjay may not die in my story, but some of the characters who live in Mockingjay will die in my story.


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games and the characters. I am just taking them for a spin. **

**Chapter 31 – Peeta's POV**

Last night was the best night of my existence. Katniss Everdeen had agreed to marry me. We had made love out in the woods and several times in my room after we returned. It was lunch time and Katniss was still sleeping peacefully. We hadn't gone to bed until eight in the morning, so I was going to let her sleep as long as possible before we had to go and meet with Coin at three. I was not looking forward to focusing on the war efforts now. I didn't trust Coin, and I hated her for what she had done to Gale. For what she had done to Katniss. After the big meeting our special team of: Gale, Finnick, Johanna, Katniss, and I would be meeting to formulate our plans as well.

An hour before we are to meet in command, I wake Katniss gently with a kiss. She kisses me back and smiles at me shyly. "Good morning, love." I whisper to her.

"Good morning." She whispers back.

After a long, leisurely shower together, we are ready to report to command. Katniss is clinging to my arm desperately. She is nervous and so am I. We are greeted by Plutarch. We nod at him, ignore Haymitch and sink down between Finnick and Johanna. Gale is on Johanna's other side. Coin waits until everyone is seated before beginning. She tells us that it is time to go to war. She wants to film propos with Katniss and I together, happy, and strong for the rebels. We both agree to help.

"If you two can manage it I want you to appear as much in love as ever." She is so could an emotionless about it. Her words make me angry.

"We are more in love than ever. It won't be an act!" I am furious, and then I hear Katniss's quiet voice cut through the room.

"It has never been an act." Her voice makes the entire room fall silent and I hold her hand tightly in my own, my heart soaring.

Haymitch speaks to alleviate the silence. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

His words make her angry and she pushes the chair back and stands. "Save it, Haymitch! You are just as bad as the Capitol! You kept Peeta and I in the dark about the rebellion even when we wanted to rebel! We could have been swaying the districts to the rebellion's favor on the victory tour! We should have been informed! You used us! You lied to us!"

I let her finish and when she sinks down next to me I put my arm around her shoulder and Johanna laughs. Finnick also laughs a little and Johanna speaks. "There she is folks, the mockingjay is back."

**** Two Hours Later ****

After meeting with our secret group, we all decided to make sure President Snow died before we did anything to mess with Coin. One villain at a time.

Katniss and I met with Cressida to film the propos. She wanted to film us kissing, holding hands, and looking lovingly into one another's eyes. Then we were going to speak out to boost the rebels. I could feel how uncomfortable Katniss was. She hated to speak out. I promised myself I would do most of the talking for her.

Katniss's Point of View

Cressida told us to act naturally…yeah right. Like I was going to be able to do that with a damn camera aimed at my every move. I felt panic fill me and then I looked into Peeta's eyes and felt calm. He was so good at this. He was amazing with his beautiful words that could move a nation. I was so incredibly glad that he was rescued before me. He could really make a difference. Others needed to rely on help, but Peeta could turn anyone to his whim with just his beautiful words. I knew just looking into his eyes that we would be okay.

I forgot the cameras and focused on the man I knew I wanted to spend forever with. He held my hand and didn't even look at the camera. I stared only into his eyes. He touched my cheek gently and I felt like we were the only two people in the whole world. I felt safe, comforted, loved. When he leaned in to kiss me, I met him halfway and we were kissing passionately, pausing only for breath, before diving back into the kiss. I forgot where we were and what we were doing. Peeta breaks the kiss first and then places two more gentle kisses on my lips before turning to Cressida and the camera.

"Katniss Everdeen, my fiancé, is safe. The Capitol did not heed my warning. President Snow, we will be coming for you now. You will not escape me. Citizens of Panem, we must rise and fight these oppressors. We need to be free to live our own lives and make our own choices. The Capitol speaks about the Hunger Games being about sacrifice. What sacrifice are they making? They are placing bets on people we know and love. They laugh when someone dies if they were weak. They cry when their favorites die, but it is nothing to them. We are nothing to them but entertainment. They even sent the Victors back into the arena to fight each other. We all know why they did that, and they failed. The mockingjay did not die as the Capitol hoped. She lives and she lives to fuel this rebellion and I stand by her side. We will not be ignored any longer. We must unite and show them just how wrong they are. We must fight! Please, join us and watch the Capitol burn to the ground!"

I am moved by his beautiful words and I am thinking about Rue and Thresh. I step up beside him once again and he folds my hand into his. I am moved to speak.

"Join us. We need to fight. Remember the rebellion I started when I buried Rue in flowers. Her death was barbaric. Her death was senseless. All Hunger Games deaths are ruthless and wrong. We need to stand up and fight before we lose more of ourselves. We cannot be pawns in their games. Peeta, in all his wisdom, figured this out way before I did. I am the mockingjay. I am still Katniss, the girl who was on fire! You may have tried to destroy me President Snow, but you failed. You may have tortured and killed Cinna but his legacy lives on in all of us. Fire is catching! We will burn the Capitol to the ground! Help us defeat the evil that has long corrupted this world."

I step back and look into Peeta's eyes. He is staring at me in awe and doesn't hesitate before he pulls me into his arms and kisses me with so much passion. We kiss madly like there is no tomorrow. I vaguely recall Cressida saying "cut."

With Peeta by my side, I can be the mockingjay. I can accomplish anything. I will never let him down. I love him beyond all reason. We will defeat the Capitol. We will kill President Snow. We will kill Coin. I have complete confidence with my team by my side. We will win this war and start anew again.

**I hope you liked this chapter. They will be going to war in the next chapter. Stay tuned. If you like it please review. It makes me write faster! **


	32. Chapter 32

**My second chapter of the night! I hope you enjoy it! Please review! Thank you to everyone who is following the story, reviewing the story, and for those of you who made it one of your favorites I really appreciate that! Add me as a favorite author too. I have another story idea that I am playing around with circling around Katniss and Peeta in very different circumstances in a very different life.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. The amazing Suzanne Collins owns the Hunger Games and the characters. I am just taking them for a spin. **

**Chapter 32 – Peeta's POV**

Dang my girl was hot! Katniss was so hot. Listening to her speak to the cameras, I fell even more in love with her if possible. I just had to kiss her right then and there.

After Cressida stopped taping us, she had to clear her throat a few times before we broke apart. "That was so great you two. I think they will be eating out of the palm of our hands." I wasn't as excited as she was about the propos. I was more interested in getting Katniss back to my room…

We walked back to my room together and once we entered my room she pushed me up against the wall kissing me frantically. It was incredible. My body reacted immediately and I crushed my lips against hers. She pulled away and whispered in my ear. "Your threatening the Capitol…your defense of me…it is so unbelievably sexy." Her low voice in my ear sends me over the edge and I can't get her undressed fast enough. We are down to our undergarments when there is a knock on my door.

We intend to ignore the knock, but whoever is on the other side is not going away without a fight. I yell, "Come back later…busy." Before, I pull Katniss to me in another long kiss. Or don't ever come back I think.

"You better get some clothes on because we are coming in regardless of what you want." I grumble as I recognize Johanna's voice. Katniss laughs softly and I try to pull away a little to calm myself down. I toss her a shirt, and I shrug into my pants. Katniss doesn't even get a chance to pull the shirt over her head before our guests, or invaders, enter the room. She pulls the sheet up to cover herself and I am standing shirtless with only my pants on as Gale, Finnick and Johanna walk into my room, uninvited.

I know it is crazy, but when Gale looks at Katniss in the bed I get all jealous for no reason. Although, his eyes definitely linger a lot longer than I am comfortable with.

"You guys could have given us a minute," I grumble out.

Johanna laughs. "We can't give you guys anytime alone together. You would try to find a way to finish what you started and we would never see you. Oh wait, we never see you as it is." She is such a sarcastic pain in the butt, but she is a good friend to us and I like her.

Katniss smiles and gets up with the covers still tightly around her to go into the bathroom. I hand her one of my t-shirts and shorts. Finnick, being Finnick, has to get one comment in. "I love the new look, darling. Very high fashion, and probably very comfortable for a warm climate."

I laugh softly and Katniss smiles at Finnick before her retort. "Bite me, Finnick."

"With pleasure, love." He says as Katniss shuts the door.

I laugh again and I am baffled by my actions. Finnick makes comments about Katniss looking good naked and I laugh. Gale just looks at her and I want to punch him into next week. I reason with myself that I know Finnick is just messing around because he is madly in love with Annie. Gale has been in love with Katniss for years. He is the only one who looks uncomfortable right now with his eyes still trained on the bed where Katniss had just been.

I clear my throat and he looks up at me. He sees my expression and tries to change his own so that no one else sees it. I know he still loves her and I know he is trying to pretend he doesn't. he is not being a jerk about it, but I still hate it. I am crazy jealous. Katniss opens the door dressed in my shirt and shorts and then I realize I am being ridiculous. She is standing in my room, in my clothes, and she is my fiancé. I really need to get a grip. She wants me and not him. My heart swells with pride and she takes a seat on the bed pulling me down to sit next to her. She takes my hand and I hold it tightly not letting go.

Finnick sits next to me on the bed and pretends to reach for her hand before she pushes him away good naturedly. "You wound me, darling."

Gale and Johanna sit in chairs. We talk in hushed whispers.

Gale speaks first. "I think we should stick with the plan. Take out the Capitol. Take out Snow. Regroup when that part of the war is behind us."

We all shake our heads in agreement. Johanna smirks. "What I want to know is who gets to kill the good old President Snow?"

I don't hesitate and my voice is filled with hatred. "I do."

No one even tries to fight me for it. They know I want to kill him. Katniss looks down into her lip and I see tears fall down her cheeks. She tries to hide them from me, but I know better. I pull her against my chest and she cries softly.

We have made our plans and all we have to do now is wait for our opportunity to destroy those who have tried to destroy us.

**This is the second chapter I have written tonight and I am already halfway through the next chapter. Please let me know what you think. The star squad is deployed on their mission in the next chapter. The war is beginning. Who will live? Who will die? What do you think? Please review!**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Please read and review!**

Chapter 33 – Peeta's POV

Our propos aired and we were all told by Plutarch that the Districts were in an uproar. They all wanted to back the rebellion. Districts one and two proved to be a little more of a challenge, but they were willing to meet with the Star Squad as long as Katniss and I were there with them.

"They believe you and Katniss, Peeta. They want to follow the two of you into war." Plutarch had told me. I couldn't believe it. I never even thought I would make it out of the first games. I had never planned to survive the second games and now here I was a mouthpiece for the war with the stunning mockingjay by my side. It was crazy.

Our group was set to deploy to District 2 this morning. Katniss was taking a shower, alone for the first time. I was so proud of her and all the progress she was making. She was so strong and so brave after all she has endured. After she was in there for a long time I went in to check on her. She was sitting on the floor of the shower with her hands tangled in her wet hair. She was already done bathing herself, but she was still in the shower rocking back and forth on the floor. I grab a towel and go to her. I turn off the water and wrap her securely in the towel before picking her up into my arms and carrying her into the other room.

She is shaking violently. I hold her close to me and wipe her tears away with my fingers. I let her calm down a little before I question her.

"What's wrong baby?"

She is shaking violently. "I just…I'm afraid to go back there…I am afraid of the flashbacks. What if I have an episode or something? What if they did something to me that I am not aware of right now?"

I feel fear trickling down my neck. She is right. They could have done something else to her that we hadn't even figured out yet. She had only been well for a couple of weeks. I promise myself that I will never leave her alone. I will not allow anything to happen to her.

"Whatever they did to you," I whisper into her ear. "Whatever they did, I will be there with you. I will help you fight it off."

She looks up at me and nods. She knows in her heart that I will do everything in my power to protect her. I will never let them touch her or harm her again. I give her a quick reassuring kiss on the lips.

*** One hour later ***

The hovercraft is waiting for us. Finnick, Gale, Johanna, Katniss, and I step onto the hovercraft with Haymitch, Boggs, Legg 1, and a few other soldiers I don't recognize. We are considered the "star squad." Probably because we have so many victors on the squad.

I sit between Katniss and Johanna on the flight to District two. I am nervous about what I should say, but words usually come so naturally to me at the time that I do not dwell on it. Finnick is sitting next to Katniss and he looks truly nervous, more nervous than he ever looked in the games. He tries to distract himself by flirting with Katniss, but she also seems nervous. I look around at all the faces surrounding me. Johanna looks scared. I remember that she was also tortured by the Capitol, but never lets anyone in about what she went through there. Gale is the only one who doesn't look nervous. He looks fierce and ready to take everyone on. He is angry I realize. He is angry with what they have done to us and to all the other districts and he is ready for revenge.

I draw a little strength from Gale's strength and think about how odd it is that I alternate between hating Gale and respecting him…well maybe that was a stretch, but I did envy his anger. I was angry too, but I voiced mine with my words while Gale was ready to kill.

We land in District Two and I take Katniss's hand as we step off the Hovercraft. Soldier Paylor is there to greet us. She welcomes us with open arms and we are led into a command center. There are hundreds of people in this command center and they are all waiting to see us. I take the initiative and speak.

"Citizens of District Two, I ask you to unite with us to bring down our shared enemy. The Capitol has controlled us for much too long. We do not want a dictatorship. We want a democracy where everyone has the freedom to choose their own jobs, their own careers, their own families. We should not send our children out into this world to a way that is not of their own making. The Capitol calls it sacrifice, but let's just call it what it really is…murder. Cruel, senseless murder at the hands of the frivolous Capitol. What have they ever suffered? How many of them have lost their children and friends to the games? I tell you. None. Join us in this war against our shared enemy and earn your freedom."

I look out at the citizens and they seem moved by my words. I was grateful I at least had that working for me. Katniss stepped forward next to speak. "I stand with my fiancé against the Capitol and their terrorism. They are terrorists that murder their own people. The use us and force us into being pieces in their games. No more. We must stand up to them or we will be doomed to live this life of so called "sacrifice." I am the mockingjay and I stand before you to rally you to a worthy and noble cause. Protect your children. Protect your friends and family. We must fight. We will win."

I stand in awe of the woman I love. She is spectacular when motivated by her true feelings. She works so much better without being told what to say. She is a natural even though she would deny that.

Johanna spoke briefly about the Capitol destroying everyone she has ever loved leaving her alone in the world. Finnick spoke about being sold for nights of pleasure by President Snow. He told the citizens how Annie, his new wife, was always the threat Snow used so that Finnick would comply. He told the citizens that he knew the truth about President Snow's rise to the throne. How he poisoned his way to the top and that is why he always smelled of blood because he had to consume the poison as well and it had caused damage. He told the citizens that the women who paid Snow for the pleasure of his company had told him many secrets. If need be, to help the rebels, he would leak every secret he had ever heard. He also urged everyone to fight. Gale did not speak because most people had no clue who he was. Haymitch also did not speak…big shocker there.

By the end of our speeches, District Two was rallied to our side. We went to District One and repeated the same speeches and they joined us as well. So, now it was thirteen districts against the wretched Capitol. It should be easy. Shouldn't it?

We were spending the evening in District one before we headed back to District thirteen to strategize once again now that all the forces were on our side. Medical aid was being sent to District One to prepare for battle. I prayed that Prim would be left in District Thirteen. I didn't want her anywhere near the battle for Katniss's sake and her own.

Gale and I were the only two in our group's room while the others readied for bed. Johanna and Katniss had gone off to change for the night. Gale sat down on the bed two down from me. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to…I knew what he was feeling, what we were all feeling. Overwhelmed.

He looked over at me and spoke. "I can't believe it is finally time to take the bastards on."

"It has been a long time coming." I say casually. I am not as excited for battle as he seems to be. I only want it to end so I can have a long and happy life with the woman I love more than my own life.

"Where is Katniss?" He asks innocently, too innocently if you ask me.

"She is waiting with Johanna to see who is coming from thirteen on the medical team. She is concerned her mother and Prim will be this close to the battle."

"Prim? No way would they send a thirteen year old into the battlefield."

I am not as convinced as Gale, but I do hope he is right. "I hope you are right. It would make Katniss crazy if anything threatening ever got near her sister."

Gale nods at me and then looks up at the door to see Katniss and Johanna entering the room. Finnick jogs up to them and throws his arms casually over both of their shoulders. Gale rolls his eyes and then addresses me. "Does it bother you that he is all over her like that?"

For some reason his comment amuses me. It doesn't bother me, but I can see it bothers him. Possibly because Katniss doesn't allow him to casually touch her anymore and she sure as heck doesn't want him flirting with her. Finnick is a rare individual and can get away with just about anything. He saved my life and he saved Katniss's life as well. I will owe him forever. I finally answer his question. "Finnick is harmless. He is a good guy. No, it doesn't bother me."

He shrugs his shoulders as if he doesn't care but he cannot take his eyes off of Finnick with his arm around Katniss. When they get closer to us, Johanna shoves Finnick away from her laughing about something he said. He stumbles against Katniss and they fall back on a vacated bed laughing. I laugh with them. Finnick straightens himself out. "My apologies, love. I guess Johanna here is just jealous because I want to share all my secrets with you and not her."

Johanna rolls her eyes and grins. "Yes, Finnick, you have me all figured out. I'm devastated."

The four of us laugh while Gale just stares at us all. We get ready to settle in for the night.

"They told us to go to sleep because the medical hovercraft won't be in for hours." Katniss informs me and then cuddles up next to me in the narrow bed. Her eyes close and she is sound asleep in seconds. Johanna climbs in the bed on my left side and Finnick climbs into the bed between Gale and I.

He is trying to make Gale feel included, so he makes a joke. "Want to snuggle with me?" Gale looks at him for a long moment and then without saying a word he turns over on his side and sighs.

"Thanks Finnick, but I think I will pass." I hear a smile in his voice, but God forbid he actually joins us and laughs with us for a minute. Katniss is asleep though so he has dropped any friendly pretense. He only cares about her and her feelings. I am not sure how he feels about me, but he rarely speaks to Finnick or Johanna.

I am not sure how long I am asleep, but I am awakened to the sound of an alarm going off somewhere close. I reach out to pull Katniss up and realize that she is gone. I look around blindly trying to wake up and I don't see her anywhere. She is gone.

**What do you think? Where is Katniss? What will happen? Review, review, review. Please and thank you! **


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! The positive encouragement and the constructive criticism have been wonderful! I hope you enjoy the next chapter. It is a little short, but I am almost done with the following chapter as well. Please read and review! Thanks again my loyal readers. **

**I am also writing another Peeta and Katniss story called, "The Arrangement." It is AU. If you are interested and would like to check it out I really appreciate it! Thanks again everyone!**

Chapter 34 – Peeta's POV

The sheer panic completely overtakes my entire body. Where was she? I looked over to see Finnick and Johanna staring at the empty spot where Katniss was lying beside me. I look over to Gale's bed and see that he is also gone. I am completely irrational as terror has overtaken me. She would not have left to go anywhere with Gale, of that I have no doubt. She is not entirely comfortable with him anymore. She would never leave me in the middle of the night either unless there was a reason.

I feel my panic multiply tenfold when I see Gale return, hurriedly, alone. I confront him immediately.

"Where is she?"

He obviously knows who she is and quickly explains. "I have no idea. I woke up and saw that she was not here and I went to search for her."

I am suspicious immediately. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Gale looks annoyed. "Why? Are you the only one who can find her?"

I ignore his biting tone and Finnick cuts in. "Let's just find her, all right? And find out what the blazes that alert was for. Calm yourselves gentlemen." Finnick as the voice of reason…good God are we in trouble.

Johanna nods. "I will check with Boggs. You guys look for Katniss."

I watch Johanna walk away and I nod at Finnick before we all split up to search for her. I know something is not right. I can feel it deep in my gut. I know she is not in our camp. It is almost as if I can feel her going farther and farther away from me. I see Haymitch and I walk right up to him.

"Have you seen Katniss?"

Haymitch looks at me with a deadly serious look on his face. "I did, earlier this evening."

"And?" Jeez, is he really going to make me wait? He is such a jerk. I hate him.

"She was with Boggs when it was announced that the medical hovercraft carrying the medical personnel went down."

"Went down?"

He hesitates before continuing, but only briefly. "Was shot down."

I suddenly know. She went after it. She went to make sure Prim wasn't on board. No. She was going to run right back to the Capitol. She was going to fall right into their little trap.

"Was Prim on board, Haymitch?" He doesn't answer me so I yell in his face. "WAS SHE?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "We aren't sure. But when they paged her in District 13 there was no answer."

My throat closes up but I refuse to cry. I have to find Katniss. She needs me. "Where is Katniss?" He knows more than he is telling me…story of my life. He always knows more than he tells Katniss or me.

"That's why the alarm went off, Peeta. Once she heard she took off in the direction Boggs pointed. She grabbed her bow and arrows and took off. She was so quick that no one could stop her. She is stubborn that way…still herself in that way."

I want to throw something at him. She has been better for a while. She would never let anything happen to Prim. She would give herself over to Snow before he could get his hands on Prim. I know it. She was going to be captured again. "We have to go after her!"

"What a great idea boy, why didn't I think of that? We are going after her hence the alarm! Now go get ready. We are all leaving in five."

I don't hesitate I run like mad back to get my stuff. I fill Johanna and Finnick in on what is happening. I notice someone is missing. "Where the hell is Gale?" It is then that I notice all of his stuff is gone too. He saw her leaving and he was going to chase her. He was going after her. Why the hell didn't he tell us? I know why. He wants to be the one to save her this time.

I hope to God he catches her in time.

**What do you think? I know this chapter is a little short. The next chapter is almost done now though. It is from Gale's perspective. You will get to see why he is gone and you will know where Katniss is. Will Katniss walk into a trap? Is Prim in danger? Let me know if you are ready for the next chapter. It is about to get really intense! Please review. It makes me post things faster! **


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! The reviews have been incredible! Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoy Finnick. I love his character and his ability to be funny no matter what and I wanted to put some of that into my story. I also wanted to make it funny how Peeta describes him at times. I hope you are still enjoying it! Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 35 – Gale's Point of View**

I couldn't sleep. I was angry with Finnick for making fun of me. Why the hell would I want to snuggle with a guy who was married, but continue to have his paws all over Katniss? What was wrong with Peeta that he didn't care? He was too busy worrying about me touching her. He has no right to be angry with me. Katniss and I have been close much longer than they have been.

I rolled over on my side and pretended to sleep so they would leave me alone. I heard a small whimper in the middle of the night and I saw Katniss must have been having a nightmare. She only uttered that one sound. I was awake so I heard it. Everyone else was still gone to the world. I saw her sit up, but I pretended to still be asleep in my bed. It was so dark there is no way she could have seen my eyes studying her.

I watch as she carefully gets out of bed before pulling the covers up around Peeta and kissing his cheek. Gag me. I never thought she would be that way with him. She was supposed to be with me. She walked out of the room and after a moment I followed her. She was talking to Boggs. She seemed to trust him. Who knows why? Then the radio in his hand came to life and the voice was frantic.

"The medical hovercraft has been shot down four miles from the camp. I repeat. The hovercraft has been shot down four miles from the camp." I recognize the voice of Plutarch Heavensbee. While I am busy processing this, I see that Katniss has already figured it out. I listen to her conversation with Boggs from a short distance away hidden behind some boxes.

"Was Prim on that hovercraft? Is she part of the medical team?" Her voice is hysterical and she is already crying. She used to be able to hold tears in before the Capitol tortured her. I could handle her tears, but it was just different. She was different somehow, but no less appealing to me.

"I don't know, Katniss. I will find out." Boggs asks Plutarch over the radio if Prim was on the hovercraft. He pats Katniss's hand reassuringly and I immediately hate him. Why in God's name does everyone have their paws all over her? I should have made her mine before she went to the games. I should have told her how I felt then…how I feel now.

It takes Plutarch a long time to come back across the radio. "She was on the initial list. They are not 100% sure, but she is not answering any of the pages so they think so." I can see this is Katniss's undoing. Even after all she has gone through I know her thoughts. She is going after that hovercraft. She is going after Prim and I am going with her. She is screaming now and Boggs is trying to comfort her. Haymitch comes over to them and she pushes him away.

"You have to go to them. Snow will get her. You have to go now!"

Haymitch answers while Boggs is busy finding the exact coordinates. "Patience sweetheart, we will."

She pushes him back and takes off. I see her run in the direction she heard Boggs say. I need to hurry if I am going to catch her. She stops in the weapons room and I see her emerge a few minutes later with a backpack, her bow, and arrows. She is now dressed in full gear and boots. I run back to get dressed. I am going to follow her. I am going to help her save Prim and make her see how much I love her. I will make her see how much she actually loves me…she will finally admit it to herself.

The alarm starts to sound, but I don't stop I stride back to my bed. I see Peeta and his frantic expression as he stands with Finnick and Johanna. For once, I have the upper hand on Peeta. For once.

"Where is she?" He fires at me.

I am prepared to lie to him. "I don't know where she is. I woke up and saw that she was not here and I went to search for her."

He isn't buying it. I know he isn't. "Why didn't you wake me?"

For some reason his comment ticks me off. "Why? Are you the only one who can find her?" You won't find her this time. I will. I am going to save her this time.

Finnick breaks into our little conversation. "Let's just find her, all right? And find out what the blazes that alert was for. Calm yourselves gentlemen." Finnick is so damn cocky and arrogant. Now he is taking charge and Peeta just lets him. Weak….he is weak. He doesn't know how to hunt…he doesn't know how to fight…he doesn't know what it takes to survive. I do.

He may have survived so far so he is obviously resourceful, but he doesn't stand a chance at this stage in the games. Johanna starts giving orders but I tune her out and I take off quietly after grabbing my things. They are so caught up in their little plan to search for Katniss that they don't even notice I am leaving.  
>I make my way over to the weapons room and pull out another bow and sheaf of arrows. I pull out another backpack and prepare it for my journey. I also grab a couple knives. I am sure they will come in handy.<p>

I make my way through the woods following Katniss's tracks. She has not tried to be discreet at all. She is terrified for her little sister. I promised I would protect Prim and I will. I will not let anything happen to either of them…never again. I trudge through the woods and I know she won't stop. She will not stop until she gets to where the hovercraft lays.

I am running and I feel sweat trickle down my back. I stop for a moment and pull out a bottle of water to drink it. I drink it in less than a minute and then I am running again. I smell something burning and I know I am close.

I see peacekeepers surrounding the hovercraft. I look around for Katniss and that is when I see her run out from the cover of the trees and into the small clearing. I look for why she blew her cover and that is when I see Prim in the clutches of the peacekeepers with a knife at her throat.

**What do you think? How do you feel about my story so far? The next chapter will be from Katniss's POV. I promise to have more of Peeta's POV as well soon. Remember that different people may die and that some of the characters that died in Mockingjay may not die, but others definitely will. Review, review, review. This is my second chapter today because I got so many reviews! **


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! The reviews have been incredible! Thank you so much! I hope you are still enjoying it! I know many of you are concerned for Peeta. I am so glad you are getting into the story. Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 36 – Katniss's Point of View**

I screamed at the top of my lungs when Plutarch told us that my sister was probably on board the hovercraft that was shut down. It was a trap. It had to be. My sister had been caught in a trap. President Snow was going to get my sister. He was going to kill her. No. I could not let that happen. I tore away from Haymitch and Boggs before Boggs could stop me. I ran into the weapons room and got supplies. I was out less than two minutes later and I was running in the direction I heard Plutarch tell Boggs on the radio.

I ran without stopping. Branches hit me in the face but I pushed on. When I finally stopped, I saw the hovercraft through the trees. I stopped and hid behind a tree. I saw two other hovercrafts. Peacekeepers were everywhere and there were several bodies lying on the ground. I desperately looked at them all, but I didn't see Prim. Thank God. But then my heart squeezed painfully in my chest as I saw her. She was kneeling over a body and crying. I saw a Peacekeeper pick her up and put a knife to her throat.

I panicked and ran out into the clearing. "STOP! Please stop! Please!" I screamed as loud as I could and the action stopped the Peacekeeper from slitting her throat.

I stopped in front of the peacekeepers and didn't even hide the tears sliding down my face. I knew they recognized me. I threw down my bow, arrows, and backpack. I held my hands up in surrender. "Please, take me instead. Let my sister go, please." I plead with these men who look at me in barely concealed hatred, but I see that the one with the knife at Prim's throat looks at me curiously as if trying to understand why I would make myself known. He obviously doesn't understand how much I love my sister. I would die for her. I have already proven this.

The entire time they are eyeing me Prim is crying silently with tears streaming down her cheeks. The peacekeeper pulls the knife back and pushes Prim to the ground. I am embrace her and we are both crying. I don't care what happens to me as long as my sister can live. I silently say goodbye to Peeta. I love him. I love him so much. I hope he can forgive me for running after Prim without him. I couldn't handle the idea of him being captured by the Capitol along with me. I knew I had to make this journey alone and that I alone had to stop them. The peacekeeper with the knife has been on some type of radio and he returns to the group.

"Seize them, they are both coming back to the Capitol with us."

No. My worst nightmare. Prim being tortured. Prim being beaten. Prim being killed because she is my sister. No. No. No.

"Please," I beg. "Let me sister go. You have me. I am the one you want, right? Spare her, please."

The peacekeeper shakes his head but I can see some sympathy in his eyes. "Sorry, I have my orders. We need the girl to make you cooperate with us." I know then that whatever I say will not matter. President Snow has ordered this and if we are not both returned then his life will be forfeit. He could not give up his own life for two girls he doesn't know. I wouldn't expect that.

Just like that we are loaded into one of the hovercrafts. At least they let Prim and I sit next to each other on the plane. I hug her tightly to me and whisper soothingly in her ear. She finally stops shaking, but I see that her eyes have gone glassy.

"We're going to die, aren't we?" She says it in the form of a question, but I can tell she thinks it is a statement.

"No, you aren't going to die, little duck. I will protect you. I will save you again."

I only hope I can carry out my promise and keep her safe once again. Whatever President Snow asked of me I would do it. Anything to save the sister I loved more than my own life. I close my eyes and think about Peeta. He must be so scared. He may even be angry with me. I wish I had a way to tell him that I loved him and that I wanted him to be happy. I knew that this would happen to me. I knew I would not survive this war. I wasn't bitter anymore because I had spent an incredible two weeks with the love of my life and no matter what the Capitol did to me, no one could take that away from me…not ever.

**So, how did you like it? The next chapter will be Peeta's POV. Review and let me know what you think! Review, review, review.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! The reviews have been incredible! Thank you so much! I am so glad you are getting into the story. Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 37 – Peeta's Point of View**

We raced with our team through the woods. Tree branches scraped my arms, but I barely noticed. Johanna was behind me and Finnick and Boggs were quite a ways ahead of us. I know I am slow. My artificial leg causes this problem. Johanna is staying with me though and I appreciate that. I can see on her face that she is worried about Katniss. We make it to the clearing and see the downed hovercraft. Kneeling on the ground is Gale. He stands up with Katniss's bow, arrows, and her backpack. He looks shaken.

I push myself faster to reach him and we all stand with him waiting for him to explain. I look around at all the bodies littering the clearing. Relieved that I don't see Katniss or Prim. Gale has been kneeling over someone and the tears are running down his cheeks. My heart falls out of my chest and I sink down beside him. It is a District 13 medic, but I don't recognize him. Gale shakes his head and speaks. "No, I don't know who it is. I don't really know any of them. I just remember he helped Katniss in the hospital when she…"

He can't go on and I nod. I barely remembered what anyone looked like in the hospital, but I say a silent prayer for this man and his family, if he has one. Any loss of life is sad. The Capitol does not understand this. They actually shot down a medical hovercraft and killed unarmed people. People who were not prepared for battle. It sickens me. "What happened, Gale?" I am no longer angry with him for running after Katniss. He just wanted to protect her. Would I have wasted valuable time gathering the others as she got further and further away from me? No, I wouldn't have.

"I got here just in time to see her run out of the trees. They…the peacekeepers had her sister. They had a knife to her throat. She called out to them loudly and they stopped. Prim was still alive when they were both taken. She…she dropped her bow, arrows, and bag. She put her hands up and surrendered…she just gave up."

I shake my head. "She didn't give up, Gale. She did what she thought she had to do to protect Prim. She would do anything for her."

He nods agreeing with this, but he looks so broken. "I am sorry. Sorry I took off and lied to you guys. I just wanted to save her. I wanted to…"

He can't go on and I don't have the heart to be mad. "It's okay. We just need to focus on getting them back now. Finnick, you have a plan?"

Johanna grins and Finnick looks eager. "Well of course I have a bloody plan! Just give me a moment to make it clear in my head. Johanna, love, walk with me, talk with me. We have to get back the only other girl besides Annie who can tolerate being in the same room with me!"

I manage a small smile. I pat Gale on the back awkwardly and he tries to smile too, but we are both shaken and concerned. How are we going to save her? How are we going to save Katniss?

We go back to camp to prepare to depart. Boggs runs up to us with a message. "President Coin says we are not to go after them." He can't even look at us as he delivers the next words. "It was her choice to run into the trap and we have no time to get her out. Saving Katniss is no longer important. When she dies she will become a martyr for the cause and be more important dead than alive." We look at Boggs shocked before he speaks again. "I wasn't supposed to tell you all that. I was just supposed to tell you that we were not going to save her. However, I beg to differ with our leader. I want to save her. What is the plan?"

I applaud Boggs and Haymitch slaps him heartily on the back with a smile. We formulate a plan. Finnick and Johanna have come up with a brilliant plan when the television screen in our camp comes alive with a broadcast from the Capitol.

We all huddle around the television. On the screen, I see President Snow. He is smiling eerily. "Citizens of Panem. I have excellent news for you. Katniss Everdeen, the mockingjay, has been apprehended. There will be no need for a trial. She had pled guilty to all charges leveled against her. She will be executed at noon tomorrow in the square. The event will be broadcast live to show everyone what we do to people who rebel against the country that cares for them. We will make an example out of Katniss Everdeen. She will get a chance to make a final statement before her execution. I recommend that everyone hear what she has to say. I can promise you, rebels, it will be illuminating. For those of you who love this traitor, I guess the odds were not in your favor. Stay away from the Capitol or you will join her in death." I feel as though President Snow were directly speaking to me. I don't care what he says. I will not leave her to die.

I tear my eyes away from the screen and see that the others won't either. Finnick is the first to speak. "Well, I guess we need to make a few modifications to our current plan."

I can only imagine what they are doing to her now. What are they going to make her say? What are they doing to her now? To Prim? I hate him with every fiber of my being. I will destroy him. I will save Katniss and Prim. I will sacrifice my own life if I have to do it. Katniss deserves to live her life. She has been through too much. I will save her now. I will.

I finally find my voice. "Yes, when we rescue Katniss tomorrow. I will be killing President Snow as well even if I die in the process. He will pay for this and he will pay dearly."

**So, how did you like it? The next chapter will be Katniss's POV. Review and let me know what you think! Review, review, review. I am already halfway through the next chapter with Katniss at the Capitol and what they want from her and what is going on with Prim. If I get enough reviews I will post it ASAP!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Thank you for the positive comments. I really appreciate it. I am sorry it has taken me a few days to get this out. Had a busy weekend. I hope you enjoy it. Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 38– Katniss's Point of View**

Giving myself up for Prim had been easy. I had been doing it all my life. I never planned to survive this long. Prim's life was worth more than mine. I was going to do whatever it took to save her life. They let us stay together on the hovercraft and once we landed we were led to a joint prison cell. Prim clung to me and I did my best to soothe her. We were in the cell for an hour or so when President Snow walked into the cell. He made a motion and two guards took Prim from the room.

"NO! PRIM!" I screamed and she screamed back for me.

"KATNISS! HELP ME! NO!"

I feel tears well up in my eyes and a sob escapes my throat. President Snow looks at me in rage.

"Please don't hurt my sister. She is innocent to the rebellion. She is only 13. Please."

He studies me for a long moment. "And what would you be willing to do to protect her?"

I don't even hesitate. "I would give you my life without question."

He seems impressed with what I have said. "I accept. I will allow your sister to live. I will send her to one of the Districts after the rebellion dies down. Her name will not be put in the reaping ball. You just have to follow my instructions."

I nod. "I understand. What do you want from me?"

"Well, I think we can both assume I want you to give a speech. I want you to say that you oppose the rebellion and that you are giving yourself up and pleading guilty because you know you were wrong. Do not mention that your sister's life is in jeopardy. No one knows that. If you want to keep her alive, then make sure it stays that way."

I nod vigorously. Anything to keep her alive. Anything. He stands up and dusts his hands off. "After you make that statement, you are going to kill yourself on live television."

My mouth drops open in shock. I had promised Peeta I wouldn't do that. I had promised. However, I was going to die anyway. What would be better? To die a quick death by my own hand or a slow one at the hands of Snow?

"Agreed." I say. "I only ask that I can say goodbye to those I love."

Snow smiles and I loathe him. "Ah, yes. The young Peeta Mellark. Pity you won't be able to be with that boy."

"You leave him alone." I threaten and Snow actually smiles at me. He looks like a snake.

"If he comes to the Capitol I will kill him."

"No, please."

"What else could you possibly offer me Ms. Everdeen?"

I shake my head sadly. "I don't have anything else. I will say whatever you want me to say. Just please allow Peeta and Prim to survive this war.

He ponders this for a moment. "That will depend on the manner in which you deliver your final speech. I will bring you a copy in a few moments for you to memorize. Convince me and I will allow Mr. Mellark to live as well as Prim."

I know I am not going to get a better deal. I am in no position to refuse. "Deal." I tell him. He leaves and a guard brings me a paper with the speech I am supposed to memorize. "Prim?" I ask the guard but he ignores me. I know I won't see Prim again. My beautiful, sweet sister. I can only hope that Snow will honor his word to allow her to have a life.

I have lost everything. I memorize the speech and then lie down on the floor of the prison cell. I don't sleep. I can't sleep.

Peeta's Point of View

Our plan is simple. We are going to get into the Capitol and we are going to save Katniss. Plutarch has sent us outfits that pass for Capitol clothing. I am forced to drape a scarf around my neck to cover most of my face. I know that I am very recognizable and it is important for no one to know me. Finnick and Johanna are doing the same. We all dress quickly.

We hike through the woods. Boggs says we are about ten miles from the Capitol. We will have to walk most of the night to make it there early in the morning and find a place in the square where Katniss is set to be executed. I will save her life.

Gale walks beside me. We don't talk much. We don't know what to say, but I know he wants to save Katniss and Prim as much as I do.

"We will save them, Peeta. I have no doubt."

"I know."

"Promise me something, ok?"

What would Gale want from me? "Sure. Name it."

"Whatever goes down there…promise me you won't let Katniss come back for…anyone."

I realize he doesn't think we are all going to make it out of there alive. I have thought about this as well. "I will…as long as you promise me the same. If I get captured, do not let Katniss come back for me."

Gale nods. "Deal. We both will do whatever we have to do to protect Katniss."

Finnick and Johanna have been listening and Finnick speaks up. "Count me in."

Johanna laughs. "You guys are a bunch of morons. Do you honestly think that Katniss would leave anyone behind? Do you really know her at all?" She stomps ahead of us and as I look after her retreating form I know she is right. Katniss would never abandon anyone. But I would try like hell to save her even if it meant leaving others behind. She may leave others behind if it meant protecting her sister. She may end up hating me for it, but if she lives through it then I don't care.

Gale and I nod at one another and I know we are on the same page. Protect Katniss. Save Prim and Katniss.

We walk most of the night until we see the Capitol lights in the distance. Finnick decides we should all camp here in the safety of the woods for a few hours of rest. I know I will not be able to rest so I take the first watch. Gale sits up with me.

"There is no way I could sleep right now, I am too restless." Gale says as he sits down next to me.

"I am with you there." I tell him.

"Look, Peeta. I have let my emotions rule me lately. I don't know if I have any lingering effects of the medication or if I am just a jerk. I am sorry."

I understand how he feels. When it comes to Katniss my emotions always rule me. "I understand."

"I always knew she would pick you." He says this in a broken voice not looking at me.

I am shocked by this. "Why?"

He turns to me and I am shocked to see the tears in his eyes. "Because I knew that Katniss would pick the one she could not live without."

I feel confusion and I want to question him, but I don't know how. Luckily, he continues anyway.

"You see. I figured it out in the first games. I knew she loved you then like I told you before in the hospital. How she would not run away with me. How she acted around you. I knew. I just didn't let myself see that it was you she couldn't live without until I saw the two of you at Finnick and Annie's wedding together. That was when I knew it was hopeless. And yet, I still tried." He attempts a smile and it falls short. "She has always said I was stubborn. I am stubborn, but I am also a pretty rational person most of the time. She just infuriates me at times."

I smile at that. "She has a gift for that."

He smiles back. "Yes, she does. I just want you to know. I want you to tell her in case I don't make it out of there. I want you to tell her that she is my best friend and that I am sorry I was such a jerk. She loves you. She wants to be with you. She is happy with you. I need to accept that. I need to move on."

I feel tears in my throat. I had never expected Gale to give up. I thought I would be fighting him forever. It was nice to speak with him like this, this was not so unlike our conversation in the hospital. I appreciated his sentiments and respected him for his convictions. "Thank you." I want to tell him something too even though my heart fills with pain at the thought of it. I push the pain away knowing I need to say it. "Gale, if I don't make it out of there. Promise me. Promise me you will take care of her. Give her the long and happy life she deserves. Don't let her mourn for me. Tell her I wanted her to be happy…tell her that if I can't be with her then I want her to enjoy her life with you."

The words tore my heart out at the thought of her with Gale, but if I am gone I want her safe and happy. I know Gale would protect her. I know she loves him, maybe not the same way she loves me, but as her best friend.

"I promise." He swears to me and my heart squeezes a little, but I feel relief as well. I need to know that she is taken care of.

The sun rises slowly and Gale and I wake the others. It is time. We are going into the Capitol and we are going to rescue Katniss and Prim. If my life is what I have to give up to save them, I will do it without hesitation. I just hope I get to at least tell Katniss goodbye if we are to be separated forever.

Katniss's Point of View

The sky is a brilliant yellow when I am led out of the building. I find myself sad that I will never see a sunset again. I remember Peeta's favorite color was orange…the color of sunset. I close my eyes and envision that color…that scene…that beauty. I envision Peeta's face as I see it. I wish we could have seen another sunset together. I had a vision of us being married at sunset. I thought Peeta would have loved that. I take a deep shaky breath and let it out, willing myself not to cry. I am led to a platform in the center of the square. I do not attempt to escape when they leave me on the platform, alone. I cannot leave. Prim will die if I don't follow President Snow's rules exactly.

I run over the speech in my head one more time. I could pull this off. I would pull this off. I stare out into the sea of people. These were people who used to love me, welcomed me into the Capitol. Now, I am met with stony silence. I am to blame for their life of privilege being cut. They were not getting the luxuries they were used to receiving. I remember Cinna sitting in this very crowd a few rows in front of me. How I missed him. His strength. His tenacity. His free will. He would be so angry with me for giving them this, but I had to do it, for Prim. He had to understand that. Didn't he?

President Snow comes out of the Justice Building and stands on another platform. He reads his document…I hear parts of it. I am trying not to lose myself right her.

"Katniss Everdeen….committed crimes against the country that cared for her…..acknowledged guilt….came to atone for her sins….death." I managed to make out most of the important parts anyway. I look in front of me and see the nightlock berries. How fitting he has chosen this end for me. It is how I should have died in the first games….me and Peeta. Peeta. He is worth all of this pain and hell. He will survive. He will live on. He will make it. I know it. I have done all I can to ensure my sister and Peeta will survive this hell.

I guess it is my time to speak because an attendant hands me a microphone. "My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am guilty of inciting rebellion. There are many charges to be laid against me. I should have eaten the berries in the arena and let Peeta Mellark be the lone victor in the 74th Annual Hunger Games. I should not have offered District 11 any comfort in the manner of my speech. The Capitol and its citizens are not to blame for the games…we brought them on ourselves for rising against those who have always taken care of us – we…."

I am halted in my speech. I recognize someone in the audience. I shake my head as if to clear it and then my eyes go wide as I try to cover it up and remember where I was in my speech. He cannot be here. He cannot be here. I have given up everything to protect him. Even though he is concealed in a scarf and Capitol clothing I would know him anywhere. Those piercing blue eyes stared back at me with such intensity that I actually shivered. People are growing uneasy now since I have stopped my speech. I try to capture where I was going with the speech.

"We…" Suddenly, I can't get the words out. I know I can't defy the rebels. If I do then all the deaths of all those people would be in vain. Little Rue's death would be in vain. Prim would want me to tell the truth. She would want me to fight.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am a mockingjay and a symbol of the rebellion. President Snow has threatened the life of my sister to get me to make this speech today. I will not let him define me or my life and I urge you not to allow him to do that either."

I look around for President Snow and as I am staring into his dead eyes I see a smile curve on his lips. I have to look away and I try to find Peeta again, but he is gone. Was he really there? Had I imagined him? When I look back to President Snow, my heart drops and I sink to the ground.

"I suggest you finish what you said you were going to do Katniss. Eat those berries. Accept your punishment."

He is not on camera so the people viewing this would have no way of knowing. President Snow is holding my sister against his chest…tears stream down her face as he holds a knife to her delicate throat.

**So, how did you like it? I know it is a long chapter. The war will be winding down very soon. Who do you think is going to die? Do you think Prim will get away? Who will save her? Review, review, review!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Thank you for the positive comments. I really appreciate it. I know many of you are on the edges of your seats worried for Prim…worried for Peeta. Hopefully this chapter will answer some of your questions. Unfortunately, some characters are going to die. I just hope you don't hate me too much for who I kill off. I already had this part of the story planned when I began writing. Some of your reviews made me want to change it a little bit, but I thought I should keep my vision. Please review and let me know what you think. Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 39– Katniss's Point of View**

"_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am a mockingjay and a symbol of the rebellion. President Snow has threatened the life of my sister to get me to make this speech today. I will not let him define me or my life and I urge you not to allow him to do that either."_

_I look around for President Snow and as I am staring into his dead eyes I see a smile curve on his lips. I have to look away and I try to find Peeta again, but he is gone. Was he really there? Had I imagined him? When I look back to President Snow, my heart drops and I sink to the ground. _

"_I suggest you finish what you said you were going to do Katniss. Eat those berries. Accept your punishment."_

_He is not on camera so the people viewing this would have no way of knowing. President Snow is holding my sister against his chest…tears stream down her face as he holds a knife to her delicate throat._

I know immediately I made a mistake. I know I did. I shouldn't care about the rebels or the rebellion. Saving my sister is the only thing I have ever cared about doing, isn't it? It used to be. It was no longer just about us. However, I could not let Prim die. I would not sentence her to death when I could still do what President Snow wanted.

I stand back up, keeping my eyes on Snow with my frightened sister. I pick up a handful of berries. From the crowd, I hear a scream that pulls me up short.

Gale.

He is here. Is Peeta with him?

He is racing to me now as quickly as he can, unarmed. I look back to President Snow to see him tighten his grip on my sister in warning.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I am so sorry I whisper."

I hold the berries up to my mouth and look to see President Snow smiling at me. I hear a deep growl of rage and Snow's face goes white as a sheet. I look at his suit to see red seeping through it…blood, blood everywhere. He is bleeding. Someone has hurt him.

Gale reaches me and knocks the berries out of my hand. I am still looking at President Snow. He has dropped the knife and my sister has run away from him and into the crowd. I see Snow sink to his knees and then I see the person who attacked him…the person who saved my sister.

Peeta.

He was really here after all. He and Gale were working together. This causes a warm feeling to spread through me.

I hear Peeta's voice as he addresses President Snow. His voice is thick with hot, violent, intense rage. "I told you. I told you that I would kill you for touching her…for hurting her." I see Snow's eyes glaze, but Peeta still speaks to him. "You don't deserve mercy. You deserve agony. You deserve to suffer as you have made all those around you suffer. Rot in Hell." Snow's eyes close and his breathing stops. He is dead. Snow is dead. The rebels will be victorious.

I run down the platform and Prim runs into my arms. We are both sobbing tears of relief. Peeta joins us and we are all hugging. Gale joins us and Peeta wraps him into our group with us. Johanna and Finnick wait for us to finish and then I give them hugs as well…Haymitch and Boggs quick to follow.

The Capitol soldiers begin to drop their weapons and raise their hands in surrender. I see a hovercraft from District 13 appear in the sky and begin its descent. I don't care about that. I grab Peeta and pull him to me in a long, deep kiss. We kiss deeply, enthusiastically. We won. It's over. We defeated President Snow. We took on the Capitol.

The worst is behind us. Right? Wrong.

President Coin steps off the Hovercraft with District 13 guards. She is walking right at me. She points a finger at me and then speaks. "Seize her."

I am stunned. What is going on? I don't know what to think. What is going on here? Peeta, Finnick, Gale, Johanna and the rest of my team protests loudly. President Coin does not speak until I am safely in custody.

"Katniss Everdeen. You are to be tried in a court of law for defying the rebellion on live television. If you are found guilty your punishment will be death."

Is she serious? President Snow is dead. We won. What is she doing?

"She was protecting me." I hear Prim's small voice pierce through the shouting.

Coin does not even bat an eye. "She should have been protecting the rebels…not someone as dispensable as you."

Rage fills my body. I wish I had my weapons to shoot her down. A second later someone does. I see an arrow pierce through her body and hit her heart. She drops immediately to the ground dead. The guards release me to go after the assassin. I turn to see who has shot her. I am not surprised…I knew as soon as she made the comment about Prim not being important that it would happen.

I scream out to stop them as I see the guards knock Gale to his knees and start beating him before my eyes.

I scream but I don't attack them. Everything seems to move very slowly. My vision gets hazy and I fall to the ground. Before I can register that I did not hit the ground I figure out that Peeta caught me. I look through blurry eyes to see that my team has managed to stop the attack on Gale. Boggs radios for Plutarch, who is second in command, to come and deal with this.

I see that the peacekeepers have taken advantage of our fighting with one another. I see that one of them is pointing a gun at me with a chilling smile on his face. I close my eyes. I don't want to draw Peeta's attention to the shooter because he will just put himself in front of me to shield me. I don't want him to die. I have no weapons. Neither does Gale. I think we are the only two to see the shooter, but I am wrong. The shot fires and my vision is blurred as someone jumps in front of me and takes the bullet in the chest. Blood seeps from the wound and colors the ground crimson.

Screams erupt from my body and I drop to my knees and cry. I vaguely recall the troops from 13 finishing off the peacekeepers. Everything is a blur. I hear a ringing in my ears. I reach out for the hand of the person who saved my life…the person who sacrificed their own life to save mine. Tears clog my eyes and rolls down my cheeks in rivers.

This cannot be happening to me. Not to me.

**So, how did you like it? Who do you think dies? Who are you afraid it is? Review, review, review. If I get enough reviews I will post the next chapter that I have finished with the name of the hero or heroine. Intrigued? Let me know! REVIEW!**


	40. Chapter 40

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I got over 300 for the story now! Thank you for the positive comments. I really appreciate it. I know many of you are on the edges of your seats wondering who the hero is. Which character is going to die? I hope you are not too upset by the twist my story is going to take. Please review and let me know what you think. Here is the next chapter!**

**Chapter 40– Peeta's Point of View**

President Coin steps off the Hovercraft with District 13 guards. She is walking right towards Katniss and I. She points a finger at Katniss and then speaks. "Seize her."

I am stunned. What the hell is going on? I step in front of Katniss to shield her. I hear the opinions of the rest of the Star Squad and their surprise. Why would Katniss be arrested?

"You can't do this! I won't let you!" I am standing in front of Katniss and I am knocked down by a guard and I watch, while being restrained by a guard, Katniss being held by some guards. She doesn't fight them. She looks shocked, weary, resigned. I am not going to lose her after all of this. I knew President Coin was trouble and I knew she wanted Katniss out of the picture. What would be her excuse this time?

Coin speaks in a dead voice. "Katniss Everdeen. You are to be tried in a court of law for defying the rebellion on live television. If you are found guilty your punishment will be death."

Why is she doing this? President Snow is dead. This isn't a relevant issue. Why isn't the rest of the Star Squad in custody? We disobeyed her orders to save Katniss and Prim.

"She was protecting me." I hear Prim's small voice pierce through the shouting.

Coin does not even bat an eye. "She should have been protecting the rebels…not someone as dispensable as you."

Anger courses through my veins. I don't have time to react, but I see that someone else does. Someone shot an arrow at Coin that pierced through her chest. It had to hit her heart. She drops to the ground immediately…dead. I look up at Katniss somehow expecting it to be her that has killed Coin, but it isn't. The guards release me to go after the assassin. I turn to see who has shot her. I am not surprised…I knew if it wasn't Katniss that it would be Gale.

I see the guards knock Gale to his knees and start beating him before my eyes. I stand up and run over to help him. Katniss screams. I see her start to fall over and I turn back and catch her in my arms before she hits the ground. She is so unsteady that I can't let her go. I see that Boggs, Johanna, Finnick, and Haymitch have managed to pull the soldiers off of Gale.

Boggs radios for Plutarch, who is second in command, to come and deal with this.

The peacekeepers have taken advantage of our fighting with one another. Why don't they just stop this enough already. I am still holding Katniss tightly in my arms and I help her to stand up again. I feel her body go rigid and know there is a threat. I realize it too late. I hear a gun shot. I know I will be too late, but I start to push Katniss behind me…too late. Someone else goes flying through the air in front of Katniss to take the bullet. Blood seeps from the wound and colors the ground crimson.

Screams erupt from Katniss and we both drop to our knees. Katniss immediately starts crying. I vaguely recall the troops from 13 finishing off the peacekeepers. I see Katniss reach out for the hand of the person who saved her life…the person who sacrificed her own life to save the woman I love. Tears clog my eyes and rolls down my cheeks in rivers.

I put a comforting arm around Katniss's shoulders.

Johanna Mason stares up at Katniss from her position on the ground. She is fighting to stay conscious. Boggs has already called for a medic, but I know it will be too late. It is too late for a medic.

Katniss holds her hand tightly. "Why did you do that, Johanna? Why?" Her voice is tiny and tear filled.

Johanna smiles and squeezes Katniss's hand. "Because you are my friend…you are my only friend. I couldn't…I couldn't let them kill you. I couldn't be alone again. They…they already took too…too much away from me. I…I couldn't stop it then, but I could stop…this." Her voice is thin and shaky. Katniss pulls her hand up to her lips and kisses her fingertips.

"You are my friend too, Johanna. You are the best girlfriend a girl could have. Please don't die. Please don't give up. The medics will be here soon. We have been through so much together. Fight this!"

Gale is kneeling on Johanna's other side along with Prim checking Johanna's injuries. I can tell from the looks on both of their faces that she is not going to make it. My heart breaks for Katniss.

"Brainless," she tries to joke. "You have been through the Hunger Games twice…same…same as me. You know…you know I am not going…to make it. It's okay. I'm okay." I know she is trying to make Katniss accept it. She doesn't.

"Who will I talk to about what we went through in the Capitol? Who will I go to with all my problems when I want the absolute truth with no sugar coating? "

Johanna smiles and coughs weakly. "Peeta for the first part…he likes to hear all your problems…even the bor-ring ones. Gale…Gale won't sugar coat."

I smile slightly. Johanna is trying to bring us all back together again. I can almost see the picture she paints in my head. Katniss and I together and Gale as her best friend again the way it was supposed to be.

"Promise me something?" She asks me.

"Anything." I respond immediately.

"Take… care of her. She…always…always loved only you. Don't let them take her away."

I nod and put my hand on top of Katniss and Johanna's linked hands. "I promise, Johanna. Thank you…thank you so much for saving her."

She smiles again. "She…she is the only person I have ever confided in…talked to. The only one who understood me. Katniss, you are the only one. And Peeta, well I couldn't…very well…let you live on alone…without your love…it is no way…to live."

Her eyes close, but she forces them open when Katniss starts screaming at her to do so.

"I love you, brainless. I…I am ready to be…with my family now. The Capitol…can't touch us anymore. I am no…longer a piece in their games…and neither are any of you."

Katniss gives her a kiss on the forehead and Johanna closes her eyes for the last time. Her chest rises and falls once more before she stops breathing. Katniss buries her head in Johanna's chest and cries in earnest. Loud, gut wrenching sobs for her friend. I try to pull her away.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She screams pushing me away and leaning over Johanna again. Gale tries to pull her away.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU! WHY DID YOU COME HERE FOR ME?"

I knew she would do this, make it her fault. She always blames herself for things she can't control.

She stands up with blood covering her clothes. She doesn't care. She grabs her bow and her eyes zero in on the man who shot the gun…the guy who Boggs has in custody. She loads her bow and Boggs steps back. She fires the arrow into his chest, killing him instantly.

There is a hollow look in her eyes and she turns away from all of us and starts walking away from the Capitol and into the woods just beyond the forest.

I know she needs some time to herself. I look back and see Finnick follow her out into the forest. I let them go…thinking that maybe since Finnick had known Johanna longer, that he could offer her some comfort.

I drape a cloth over Johanna's body and whisper goodbye. I reach out and embrace a crying Prim in my arms. She is sobbing and I hold her close and try to comfort her. I know this is what Katniss would be doing if she were capable of doing anything at all right now. So, I do the only thing I can do for Katniss right now. I comfort her little sister and wait for her to return to me.

H**ow did you like it? Did I give her a proper farewell? What did you think about the scene? I had it all mapped out and I hope it was good. It was hard to write the scene because I really liked Katniss and Johanna being friends. I had decided from chapter one that Johanna would save Katniss from death in this way. My story is winding down, but I will still publish another five or six chapters. After I finish this one, I will continue my other Hunger Games story called, "The Arrangement." I also have some other ideas so mark me as a favorite author and I hope you will read more of my stories once I finish this one.**

**Review, review, review. If I get enough reviews I will post the next chapter tomorrow night. **


	41. Chapter 41

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope I didn't lose anyone when I killed off Johanna. I thought it would be nice to show her as a hero because I think she is an important character. I know many of you want more Katniss and Peeta. I can promise you that you will get it if you can bear with me a little bit longer.**

**Chapter 41– Katniss's Point of View**

I sob and throw myself on Johanna's body. She is gone. My friend is gone. My friend who was tortured alongside me at the Capitol is now dead…because of me. It's always because of me. Everyone always dies trying to save my life. No more. No more will I allow this to happen. Peeta reaches out to me and tries to comfort me but I am too broken…too angry with myself to receive any comfort.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream at him and push him away from me forcefully. His eyes show his hurt that he tries to cover. He knows I am hurting and he doesn't blame me for pushing me away. He always sees the good in me. Always. Even when there is not any good in me at all.

Gale tries to comfort me next and he should know better. He should leave me be. He knew what I was like after the death of my father and his death wasn't my fault. Johanna's death was my fault…all my fault. Pain radiates throughout my entire body. I push Gale away as soon as he touches me and scream at them all.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU! WHY DID YOU COME HERE FOR ME?"

Peeta is staring at me with nothing but love in his eyes, but I can't let him comfort me. I can't let him tell me this isn't my fault because it is my fault. It is. I stand up, not caring about the blood covering my clothes. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters except…

I turn and see the man who was going to shoot me. He must pay for this even if he did not mean for it to kill Johanna. She is still dead. The Hunger Games are still going on…they will always still be going on. Am I destined to be the cause of all death around me? Is Peeta really safe with me?

I grab my bow and put an arrow into place. Boggs understands and let's go of the man who killed Johanna, giving me permission. The man looks at me in rage. He wanted me dead. He is angry he didn't succeed. I am an angry he didn't succeed. I will remedy this. I need to be alone for this. I keep my eyes down and don't focus on Peeta because I am afraid he will read my intentions in his eyes. I am not going to pull him down with me. He deserves more. He deserves happiness.

I think about all the torture I went through in the Capitol. I shake my head slightly and Finnick catches my eye and gives me a questioning look. I refuse to look at him again and put my head down and walk into the woods. I don't want Finnick to know my intentions. I don't want him to save me this time.

All the torture I went through in the Capitol. Right now, I couldn't pull to the front of my mind what was real and what wasn't real. The very thought that I was having an episode forced me to stop walking and clutch a nearby tree trunk. The questions started flowing through my mind and there was no way for me to stop it or relieve how I felt.

Was Peeta with me? Did he really love me? Why did he love me? I look down and see the ring on my finger. Yes, he did love me. It takes me a moment to convince myself that he does in fact love me. I run the proposal through my mind slowly. I don't want to forget a moment of that proposal…the most perfect proposal by the perfect man. I smile at the memory and then I frown. Did I deserve that love? No. They told me in the Capitol that I didn't, that I would be nothing but pain for everyone. They told me everything and everyone that I touched would be ruined.

I killed the people in District 12 by blowing up the force field. I forced Peeta to kill Snow when I stumbled through my speech. My sweet, innocent and kind Peeta had to murder someone because of me. Gale killed Coin because I was being arrested. Who knows what would happen to him because of it. Would Gale have to die? Johanna died protecting me from a man who knew I was worthless, that I deserved to die. Poor Prim…my poor sister always being punished because of me. Always me. Always. The pain of all these hurts I have caused becomes too much for me and I start to shake.

I vaguely remember the nightlock berry capsules that everyone had been issued. I had not been issued any because of my delicate mental state. Before I had escaped on my own I had picked up Peeta's bag he was carrying with him. I searched through the bag now for the capsules that would end this pain I felt and would stop others from being hurt because of me. My fingers close around the package that contains the capsules and I stop because I feel a presence.

I hear someone behind me. It is too quiet to be Peeta and too loud to be Gale. I turn around and see Finnick approaching me cautiously. He knew what I was doing. When I made eye contact with him, he had figured it out immediately.

"Don't do it, Katniss. Don't."

"You can't stop me. You can't!" I threaten him.

"Are you really going to do this?"

I don't answer him.

"Johanna died to save your life. Is this how you are going to repay her? She would hate you for it!"

I know that Finnick is right I know he is. I just can't bear to think about it. I know he doesn't understand. How long before I hurt him because of who I am? What about poor Annie? Johanna shouldn't have saved me. She should have let me die. They should all just let me die.

I see movement through the trees and I know Peeta is coming. I can hear him call my name. I flashback to the first arena where he did the same thing. He saved my life and fought Cato so I could get away after trying to kill the Careers with Tracker Jacker venom….yes, he saved me and what did he get for it? He almost died because of it. Cato cut his leg deeply and I just went about with Rue and didn't help him for the longest time. He was near death before I found him. I remember pretending to be in love with him so sponsors would help us.

I remember knowing I was in love with him at some point during those games…but I don't know the exact moment I felt that way. When he kissed me, I knew I loved him. I couldn't tell him that of course. But I loved him.

I love him even more now. Why did the boy with the bread want to love me? Look what I put him through. Look what I have done to him. He will not suffer for me anymore. Not ever.

**PEETA'S PERSPECTIVE**

I cling to Prim and let her cry it out. I am trying to be there and comfort her the way Katniss would want me to, but something tells me all is not right. I can feel it. Something is not right. I look around at the others and that is when I notice that my bag is missing. Who would take my bag? Even as the question floats through my head I know the answer. I know she took it and I know why. She blamed herself for Johanna's death. Did Johanna's death trigger an episode?

I don't explain to anyone. I take off into the woods as fast as my legs can carry me. I am grateful Finnick followed her before and I only hope he made it to her in time.

I hear Finnick before I see him. "Johanna died to save your life. Is this how you are going to repay her? She would hate you for it!" I hear the desperation in his voice.

I burst through the trees and then I see Katniss and Finnick in the clearing. "What is going on here?" I ask even though I already know. Katniss avoids my eyes, but Finnick answers me.

"She took your bag. She came out here to…" He can't say the words and he doesn't have to I know. Tears flood my eyes and I walk closer to Katniss and she steps back against the tree behind her still refusing to meet my eyes.

"Katniss –" I begin and she cuts me off.

"Please don't. Peeta, I didn't want you to see this…but I have no choice now. I can't do this anymore. I can't. I am tired of causing everyone pain."

I look at her hand and see the two nightlock pills clutched in her grasp. Fear floods me. It would only take a moment. It would only take that one moment I didn't see coming and she would take those pills and it would be over. Over. I cursed myself for even agreeing to carry them, but I did in case Katniss died…because if she died I wasn't letting her go alone. I wasn't going to live without her.

"Look at me." I command. She shakes her head no and refuses to look at anything but the pills in her hand. "Please."

My voice was full of tears and she looked up involuntarily, not wanting me to be upset. Her eyes lock with mine and she begins to cry as well. I reach out a hand and touch her face gently and she starts sobbing.

"Not real. How you are feeling right now…it's not real, Katniss. This is the Capitol messing with your head. Let me help you. We can fix this. Please." I am begging her. I will do anything…anything.

"Just let me go, Peeta. Just let me go, please." She sobs against my shoulder and I hold her close to me. She is asking me to let her go and I know that I can't do that.

"I can't. I can't let you go." I whisper it softly in her ear and she crumbles against me letting the nightlock fall from her hand. I use my boot to crush it into a fine dust that blows away in the wind taking the fear away with it.

Katniss is so weary with exhaustion she can't walk. I pick her up in my arms and carry her out of the woods. Finnick falls into step beside me and I know I need to thank him. I will always owe him for following her so quickly and stopping her. If he didn't, I know Katniss would be dead right now.

"Thank you, Finnick."

He nods. "She is in so much pain…so much pain." He retreats into himself slightly and I can see that he is grieving over the death of Johanna and what the Capitol has turned Katniss into. "She was going to do it…but I couldn't let her. I was going to stop her. I wouldn't have let her do it." I nod knowing that.

I know now that Katniss is still not okay, but that I will not give up on her. She thrived on us spending so much time together and we had been separated for a while. I wonder if the separation caused her more anxiety and pushed her to the edge and Johanna's death pushed her over it.

We return to our group and I see that Plutarch has arrived. He has taken over as acting President for the moment until an election can be arranged. He assigns us a private room and I carry Katniss in and lay her gently on the oversized bed that nearly dominates the entire room. A doctor from District 13 comes to check on her. She is sound asleep so I relay to the doctor what happened. The doctor listens to everything and then gives his opinion.

"When Johanna died, Katniss lost touch with reality. The Capitol had been prepared for this. They knew someone would die around her in the war. The feelings of inadequacy came back and she blamed herself. The good news is that she was able to stop before hurting herself. She has never been able to stop herself before."

I know the news is supposed to be comforting, but it isn't. "Any advice?" I ask him.

"Yes, spend lots of time together. When she is with you, she thrives. You were both apart for a while and I think that may have led to this as well. Get her to open up to you and share all her feelings and all her fears with you. She will not feel better until she voices all the fears that have been instilled in her from the torture."

The prospect of time alone with Katniss was overwhelming and exciting. I was going to bring her back completely. I couldn't wait for her to wake up. We had so much to talk about. I lay down on the large bed with her and throw my arms around her, pulling her close to me before sleep finds me as well.

H**ow did you like it? I needed Katniss to have one more minor episode so that Peeta could baby her and be there for her . The next chapter will reveal a lot of their feelings and thoughts over what happened to them and how they feel. Expect lots of mushy happy stuff! There may still be one more death, but I haven't completely decided yet…I am torn.**

**Review, review, review. If I get enough reviews I will post the next chapter tomorrow night. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I am sorry it has taken me a few days to post. I have been sick. I know this chapter is not my best, but I hope you all still enjoy it. **

**Chapter 42– Peeta's Point of View**

"_Just let me go, Peeta. Just let me go, please." _

"_I can't. I can't let you go." _

_She pushes me away and puts the nightlock in her mouth. I reach out to stop her and she drops down on the ground in front of me. No breath escapes her lips._

_I hear the cannon blast and see the hovercraft appear to take her away from me._

"_I can't let you go. I can't let you go." It becomes a mantra. I repeat it over and over again as I lay over her body to prevent the hovercraft from taking her away from me._

_The hovercraft flies away and I look beneath me and see that is Prim on the ground…dead. _

"_Peeta?" Katniss's voice is high and tight with pain laced through her voice._

_I look back at Prim, dead, and then to her. "Katniss, I don't –"_

_She is looking at me with accusation. "How could you let her die, Peeta? How could you do that to me?"_

"_I don't….I'm not…I…" I had no idea what had happened and then I see Katniss fall to her knees and see the blood seep through her t-shirt. She doesn't even cry out as she slumps to the ground dead. I look up to find her assassin, freeing my knife to kill him, when I see who it is. I drop my knife and stare into the eyes of the man who killed the woman I love. Shock flooding my entire being with hatred and malice. _

I awake suddenly chilled by this nightmare that has me shaking. Sweat pours down my face and I whimper slightly. It was a terrible nightmare. Terrible. Most troubling because I cannot recall the man who killed Katniss in my dream. Why can't I remember that but I can remember everything else?

Katniss stirs beside me and I know my nightmare woke her up. She sits up next to me and rubs comforting circles into my back. "It was just a nightmare, Peeta. It's okay."

I look over at her and pull her into my arms and hug her tightly. I will never be able to hold her close enough. I pull back slightly.

"That may have been a nightmare, but you in the woods…with the pills…that was my reality. What were you thinking?"

My tone is firm but soft at the same time. I am not angry with her. I am concerned. I cannot lose her and I need to get through to her.

She shrugs and plays with the blanket on the bed. "I was thinking that people keep dying around me…to protect me, save me, whatever. I just thought I would make it easier for everyone."

I tilt her chin up to meet my eyes. I see the tears in my eyes reflected back in hers. "Make it easier? Do you hear yourself? Do you really think that is you? Katniss Everdeen does not give up! Katniss Everdeen is a survivor! She fights to survive and protect those she loves! She is a hero!"

She shakes her head and stands up facing the window and looking out at the Capitol. "You don't see me clearly. You aren't exactly objective here, Peeta."

I rise from the bed and go to stand directly behind her. My arms encircle her waist and she leans back against me momentarily and we both sigh contentedly.

"If you ever succeed in ending your own life, I will follow you. You will be killing us both."

I feel her entire body tense and I can tell I struck a nerve. Good. I wanted her to feel.

"Why would you say that, Peeta? Why would you even think that? She is screaming at me and pushing me.

I let her. She needs to get these feelings out. I remember the time she pushed me into a vase before the first games and how my hands were torn up. I grin as I remember loving her fire even then. She takes this grin as a challenge and pushes me harder against the wall.

"I want you to live, Peeta! I want you to live and have a fantastic life with someone who is not totally screwed up! Someone who can give you…normal."

Her words anger me and I reverse our positions and pin her against the wall gently holding her hands above her head so she would stop pushing me.

"Normal? I don't want normal, Katniss. I want you. Whatever you are is what I want. I can only be happy with you. Only you."

She looks at me with tear filled eyes and I think she is the most beautiful woman in the entire world.

I am staring into her eyes and I see her eyes darken with desire. I am pressed up against her body and it is affecting both of us. I don't say anything else. I press my lips down on hers and kiss her hungrily, passionately. I keep her hands pinned above her head and she groans as I make my way down her neck and trace my tongue along her neck. I place soft kisses against her collarbone that cause her to shiver.

I stare into her eyes. The eyes of the only person I have ever truly loved. I let go of her wrists and she crushes her lips against mine again and puts her arms around my neck. Our kissing is desperate and intense. I gasp for breath and she pushes me back and we both fall onto the enormous bed.

We sit up together and she removes my shirt hastily and throws it across the room. I rip her shirt off her body and we start to explore one another again.

We stay lost in each other for hours. When Katniss and I make love, I feel so many things at once. I feel so much love that I feel like my heart will burst. I feel closer to her than I have ever felt to anyone else as if we are joining our souls as one. When we are apart, I feel as if I am missing a piece of myself. When I join my body with hers I feel whole. It is the only time I feel completely whole.

After, we lay in the bed wrapped in each other's arms swaddled in blankets. She is tracing soft circles on my chest and I am running my hand up and down her back gently when she speaks quietly, her voice full of emotion.

"I love you, Peeta Mellark. I love you so much."

I place a gentle kiss against her forehead. "I love you too, sweetheart. More than my own life."

I know she feels the same way. Katniss drifts off to sleep in my arms and I silently thank Johanna for saving her life…for the sacrifice she made. I knew Katniss had a long way to go, but I was going to be there for her every step of the way.

Sleep finds me and I sleep soundly until I hear the screams. They are the screams of a young girl…very familiar screams. I feel as if I am dreaming when Katniss starts up at the sound of the screams.

"PRIM?" She screams! She dresses as fast as possible and I do as well. I struggle to catch up to her as she flies out of the room intent on reaching her beloved sister whose sounds cause fear to well in the deep recesses of my heart.

H**ow did you like it? What do you think will happen? Do you think Prim dies? The story is winding down. I am going to post a few more chapters before an epilogue. I have a few more story points that I want to touch on first. Review if you want to know what happened. Did I decide to kill off that one person I was struggling with killing off? Let me know what you think! Review, review, review! **


	43. Chapter 43

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I am overwhelmed by all your reviews and support! I love writing this and I love that you all seem to enjoy my writing!**

**It means so much to me! I am sorry it has taken me a few days to post. This chapter is a little short, but it is to set up for a huge chapter next! I hope you like it! I hope that what I decided to do doesn't bother anyone, but I knew from the beginning that it was going to happen. **

**Chapter 43– Katniss's Point of View**

My sister's ear piercing screams fill the air and I start up in bed instantly and scream for her. My entire body goes into overdrive as I hurry into my clothes. I see Peeta is doing the same thing.

I race out of the door and I can't seem to move quickly enough. Peeta is right behind me. He knows that nothing will comfort me in this moment so he doesn't say anything. I wouldn't be able to hear anything anyway. I am in a panic imagining my beloved sister in the clutches of what is left of the Capitol's army. Who is leading them without Snow?

I see that the screams have affected more than just me. Gale is also racing towards the sound along with Finnick. Gale reaches the door first and wrenches it open. Panic is evident on his face as well. Finnick's face looks haunted as he follows Gale down into some type of cellar. A moment later the screaming stops. I race down to join Gale and Finnick. I see Gale holding up a large bird…a jabberjay. He is removing the arrow he shot through its body. Even though we have a million arrows now, it is just part of a routine that he is saving it.

Relief temporarily floods me, but then I remember that most of the time a jabberjay mimics what it hears. Then I hear Annie's voice coming from another corner. Gale shoots it with the same arrow, killing it instantly. Before the others can start, Finnick spears them with his trident. Sweat is pouring down his face and I can see that even though he knows Annie is safe with him these screams have unnerved him just as they have unnerved me.

Suddenly, I am back in the arena. I am surrounded by the screams and cries of those I love. Finnick and I are all alone and have to drown out the noise and cover our hands over our ears…we will never survive….we will…Peeta's body behind me brings me back to the present.

I feel Peeta's arms wrap around my back and I lean into him for support. "Prim is fine, Katniss. She is just outside the doors with Annie waiting for you. She is okay. Everything is okay." I relax into him knowing that Peeta would never lie to me that Prim is safe.

I turn around to look into Peeta's eyes. He leans in and gives me a gentle kiss before pulling me tightly against his chest where I use a few moments to get myself together. Peeta is my rock. He has always been my rock. Is it possible that the hell is over? Is it possible that I just get to be happy now and live my life with Peeta?

I turn around and see Gale. I give him a hug also. I haven't seen Gale since he shot President Coin. I wondered if anything was going to happen to him.

"What are they going to do to you?" I know he will understand what I am asking. Gale and I still understand each other pretty well. I knew that he wanted to kill Coin because she had made him hurt me. I remember Peeta saying he was going to kill President Snow and he did. Then I remember Johanna's death and have to force myself back into the present so another episode doesn't push its way through me.

"I don't know. Plutarch told me not to worry too much. He said that I was protecting you from her. He is going to try to get me some type of deal."

I nod knowing that if anyone will be able to help him now that it is Plutarch.

Finnick pushes his way passed Gale and wraps me in a hug. Gale looks at him in annoyance. He still doesn't understand Finnick just yet. Peeta and Finnick embrace all their emotions. Gale thinks it is a weakness, while I disagree. I may have thought like that before the games, but now I see their emotions as a beauty and a strength. Peeta uses that beautiful emotion to ensnare people with his astonishingly powerful words and speeches. I smile and accept the hug Finnick has forced upon me.

Even though he is older than I am he appears so childlike at times like this. He saved me…more than once. He saved my life in the arena when he brought Peeta back to life after the force field incident. He carried Peeta over his shoulder to escape the fog. Peeta told me that Finnick helped him hold on to his sanity when I was in the Capitol. And then Finnick really did save my life yesterday. If he hadn't deterred me I would have swallowed the capsules. I really thought that I would be doing those around me a favor by ending my life. Now, I was starting to see that then I would be doing exactly what Snow would have wanted. I am not going to do that again. I am going to fight these episodes with all that I am. I am going to beat this with the people I love by my side….Peeta will always be mine.

Finnick pulls back and looks at me as if reading my thoughts. "Are you okay? I mean, are you yourself, love?"

I smile. "I will be okay, Finnick. Thank you."

He grins at me. "Well, besides my Annie, you and Peeta are my family, woman! So don't go doing anything like that again." I see Gale looking at us in confusion and I can see that he doesn't know what I almost did in the forest. Peeta and Finnick did not tell him.

"I will do my best." I promise Finnick. I really will do my best to avoid these episodes. I look back over my shoulder at Peeta and see that my response worries him a little bit. I know he would have a difficult time leaving me alone for any amount of time anymore because of this last episode. I wasn't going to complain. I wanted to be with him all the time anyways, so the thought brought a smile to my face. I never wanted to be separated from Peeta again.

We make our way back above ground and I see Annie and Prim waiting for me along with Plutarch. I embrace Prim and we are both laughing as we hug. It is over.

I turn to Plutarch. I know Peeta is safe because no one cares that President Snow is dead, but I want to make sure that Gale is safe. He was protecting me. We may have had our differences in the past, but I knew he would always protect me. Nothing would change the fact that we mattered to one another. Hopefully, in time, he would just see me as his best friend again. I wanted him to find someone to love and settle down with, but that all hinged on what would happen as a result of his actions. "What is going to happen to Gale for killing Coin?"

Plutarch shakes his head and steps forward. "It will be up to the new President to decide. I hear that he is tough, but hopefully he can be lenient in this case."

"Who is the new President?"

He turns and I follow his eyes. I see Haymitch walking towards us. "Haymitch? You are the new President?"

Haymitch laughs. "Hell, no, girl. Do you really think they would trust an old drunk with the role of helping the country rebuild? Not a chance."

I look back at Plutarch to see him smiling at me. "Follow me, Katniss. I believe you will want to be reacquainted with the new President." I reach back for Peeta's hand pulling him along with me as I follow Plutarch. Who could it be? I see confusion in Peeta's eyes as well.

We stop in front of the President's mansion. Plutarch motions for me to go inside. I lead the way. Peeta follows me into the expansive mansion. I hated this place, but maybe that would change with a new leader.

I open the door and I see the man sitting on a sofa. He rises eloquently to greet me. I break away from Peeta and run towards him and throw my arms around his neck and embrace him. It isn't possible. He died. I saw him die when I was in the Capitol and yet his body is solid in my arms. I start to cry and my tears soak his shirt. I pull away and he holds me at arm's length smiling at me.

"I have missed you, my girl on fire. I never stopped betting on you."

**Who do you think this is? What do you think? I know this is short, but I am already halfway through the next chapter and I will post it very soon!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I am overwhelmed by all your reviews and support! I love writing this and I love that you all seem to enjoy my writing! Many of you think it is Cinna...are you correct?**

**Chapter 44– Katniss's Point of View**

We stop in front of the President's mansion. Plutarch motions for me to go inside. I lead the way. Peeta follows me into the expansive mansion. I hated this place, but maybe that would change with a new leader.

I open the door and I see the man sitting on a sofa. He rises eloquently to greet me. I break away from Peeta and run towards him and throw my arms around his neck and embrace him. It isn't possible. He died. I saw him die when I was in the Capitol and yet his body is solid in my arms. I start to cry and my tears soak his shirt. I pull away and he holds me at arm's length smiling at me.

"I have missed you, my girl on fire. I never stopped betting on you."

Cinna. Cinna is standing in front of me. He looks alive and well. Tears course down my cheeks and clog my throat. "Cinna, how? I thought you were dead. They…they killed you in front of me. They…"

Cinna quickly shakes his head and I can see that it must have been a false memory. "Plutarch saved me after I was taken out of the launch room. Those men beat me up and when I woke up Plutarch was standing in front of me. I have been working with him…for the rebellion…since before the first Hunger Games."

The relief I feel is immense and incredible. Cinna did not die. He has been alive this entire time hidden away somewhere safe.

Peeta shakes Cinna's hand and then pulls him into a hug. Cinna returns it then motions for us to sit down with him so he can explain.

"The plan to start a rebellion was mine, Katniss. I am the one who got Plutarch involved. He, in turn, got District 13 involved. We didn't think much of President Coin, but knew she would do anything to be the President of the Panem. It was never going to happen, of course, but she didn't know that."

I am not as surprised by this even though I should have been. "Why did you want to start the rebellion, Cinna?"

He stares at me and I see that his gold eyeliner is applied with perfection as always. He is really here with me. "I have been an angry Capitol citizen for years…Plutarch and I both. When we were watching the reaping, I saw this small child chosen from District 12. Sadness gripped me like it always did when such a young child was chosen, but then I hear someone screaming and that was you, Katniss. You volunteered to take your sister's place. You knew you would probably die, but you loved your sister more than your own life. I admired that. I admired that so much. I decided that it was time…right then I decided. You had to be saved. You would be someone that everyone would fight for."

I am amazed and I can see Peeta is stunned as well.

"That is when 'the girl on fire' was born. I knew that you had to have an opening that demanded attention. I went to Plutarch and told him I was ready to be a stylist for the games. I knew Seneca Crane would be thrilled. He had been trying to get me to use my talents for the games for years. I told him the only way I would work is if I was assigned to the female District 12 tribute, Katniss Everdeen. He agreed readily. He told me that he also rooted for the underdog. This is when I knew we could manipulate Seneca to help you…even if he didn't realize he was actually helping you."

He turns to Peeta and smiles warmly. "You helped me so much, Peeta. You made everyone fall in love with Katniss when you revealed that you were in love with her. I knew you loved her…since I saw you shake hands with her at the reaping, but I never knew how important you would become to her as well. Your interview…where you admitted your love for her…transformed everything. You become the 'star-crossed lovers' from District 12 and everyone loved you. Haymitch and I began working together. We wanted to find a way to save you both. Seneca agreed to allow you both to survive, but then he changed his mind…or Snow did. Then Katniss, you held out those berries. I knew then you were only doing it to save Peeta's life along with your own. You saw him bleeding to death and knew you couldn't go home without him. Neither of you saw what I saw. Katniss you were already in love with Peeta…even then. You held out those berries and Seneca saved you both. It cost him his life, but he saved you both. He knew on some level that if you both died it was wrong. In the end, I really think he realized how wrong the games had become. At least, that is what I like to think anyway. He unintentionally ignited the fire you had both started and the rebellion took off."

I look at Peeta and he is overwhelmed. He asks Cinna a question quietly. "Did you know about the Quarter Quell? That we would be chosen?"

He shook his head. "No, I did not. Once I found out though, I knew that I was going to get you both out of there alive. I wanted to save you both. Peeta stunned everyone with his announcement of your pregnancy and again people were rooting for you…even over all their favorites. Haymitch enlisted the help of Finnick and Johanna. You had already accepted Beetee as your ally. We were going to get you out of the quarter quell alive. I prepared everything in advance because I knew they would come for me after you were launched in the arena for what I turned your dress into…Plutarch was watching so he could save me. He did save me…he had me hidden away in seclusion."

He stops and puts his hand on my leg with immense sadness in his eyes. "I didn't know until you were rescued from the Capitol that you had been taken prisoner. Plutarch kept this from me because he knew I would try to rescue you myself. I thought you had been rescued with Peeta. If I had known, I would have…"

I stopped him. "I'm okay, Cinna. It's okay. I am going to be okay now." Peeta pulls me against him and I lean into his warm chest for comfort. "When I was captured, I saw them kill you, Cinna. How did I see that?"

Cinna shook his head. "I am not sure, but they also made you believe Peeta didn't love you. They made you believe that Prim and your mother had been killed and that it had been arranged by your best friend. They played on your worst fears Katniss. They played with your mind. I know that when they beat me in front of you that it would have affected you…they must have used 'my death' against you to torture you. That is the only thing I can think of anyway."

I nodded. It made sense to me. Relief coursed through me. Seeing Cinna die had been one of the worst things I had ever witnessed. Now to know that it wasn't true. I wondered what else they had tried to convince me of…did I know all of what was real and what wasn't now?

I wrapped my arms around Cinna again and he hugs me back. "I am so glad you are alive and that you are the new President."

He smiles at me and I pull back and look into his eyes. He never let me down. He is the reason…he is the reason we are all free from Snow's reign.

"You no longer have to fear life my girl on fire. You are safe now. I am going to protect you and those you love." He pauses and then looks at Peeta and I. "And I am going to design your wedding dress and tuxedo for your wedding."

I feel elation soar through me and Peeta laughs. It is a light-hearted laugh and I feel lighter than air. "I would love that, Cinna. Truly."

"So, when is the big day? How long do I have to prepare?"

Peeta looks at me and I answer the question quickly. "As soon as possible…I want to be with Peeta forever…forever starts today."

Peeta pulls me to him and kisses me passionately. His lips are warm and I feel his arms wrap protectively around me, possessively. He explores my mouth eagerly only Cinna's next words bring us back to earth.

"Seems like a desperate situation. I better get started immediately."

**What do you think? Are you happy with the new President? The next chapter will be final chapter. It will include the marriage of Katniss and Peeta. It will include what becomes of Gale, Prim, Haymitch, etc. PLEASE REVIEW and let me know if there is anything else you would like me to include in my concluding chapter. I don't want to leave anyone wanting to know something that I should have closed out. **

**There will also be an epilogue included to show how Katniss and Peeta are doing a year after they are married and maybe a little beyond. I hope you guys have loved the story. Once I finish this story, I have a few other ideas as well. Please add me as an author to follow so you can follow my next stories. **

**I also have another story that I have been writing at the same time as this one called, "The Arrangement." If you are interested in reading it please start following it. I have already posted the first ten chapters or so. It is AU and there is no Hunger Games but Peeta and Katniss are forced into an arranged marriage. Peeta already loves her, but you get to watch Katniss fall in love with Peeta. If interested please start reading .**

**Thank you so much for all who are following and reviewing! Please keep reviewing until the end! I have loved writing this story! TEAM PEETA ALL THE WAY!**


	45. Chapter 45

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything about The Hunger Games that is all the wonderful Suzanne Collins…just love the story and I am writing purely for pleasure. Enjoy! **

**Thank you so much for the reviews! I am overwhelmed by all your reviews and support! I love writing this and I love that you all seem to enjoy my writing! Here is the last chapter! I am so sad that this story is going to end now. It is my first fanfiction story and I hope you like the ending. Please review and let me know. You are all so wonderful!**

**Chapter 45– Katniss's Point of View**

Two weeks after meeting with Cinna, Peeta and I were getting married. Cinna threw everything together and enlisted the help of Effie Trinket to see to the details. Cinna was planning an enormous affair for the both of us. He wanted to make our wedding the most important event and also to honor us for assisting the end of the Capitol's reign of terror.

I spent everyone moment possible with Cinna. I wanted to know about everything he had gone through. I wanted more time with Peeta as well, but Finnick and Annie were keeping us away from each other the entire week so we could better appreciate one another at the wedding. We both thought this was a ridiculous notion and whenever we got a chance we would sneak into each other's rooms at night to cuddle in the same bed and talk about the future. We were waiting until our wedding night to make love again. I just couldn't sleep without Peeta in my bed. I needed him to keep me sane…to keep the nightmares away.

Cinna had been busy with the wedding preparations, leading the country, and also working around the clock with the doctors to ensure I receive adequate treatment. He wanted to heal all the wounds the Capitol inflicted on me. I told him that I could never be completely healed again, but he didn't digress. He felt so guilty for what I had gone through at the hands of Snow. He had every single one of my tormentors executed a week ago.

I should have felt justice being served, but I felt strangely empty somehow as though it didn't really solve anything. Peeta was the only one who really understood how I felt. It was like I had been in another Hunger Games. I just had to survive and now that I had I just wanted to move on and live with the nightmares and the terror…somehow.

Peeta had always been there for me. I knew he would always be there for me. I still didn't feel worthy of his love and I wanted so much more for him. Dr. Aurelius, my counselor, told me that the Capitol made me feel this way about myself. They made me feel insignificant. Worthless. I know better. I have never felt worthy of Peeta's love. I never felt I deserved him. Haymitch's words come back to me often. "You could live a thousand times and never deserve him." In my heart, I know those words are true. However, I will not hurt myself again. I won't abandon Peeta. He loves me and I know that if I would die or leave him then I would hurt him irrevocably. I couldn't cause him that pain and I wouldn't.

On the day of our wedding, I had never seen Peeta look more beautiful…he looked so happy. All the demons that haunted him in his nightmares could not touch him in this moment. He looked deliriously happy and I felt all my fears, faults, and visions slip away as I walked towards him with Haymitch giving me away. I stared only at the love of my life as I walked down that aisle. I didn't take pause to see Finnick, his best man by his side. I didn't notice Gale smiling at me, happy for me. I didn't notice Prim, my maid of honor's tears or Annie's squeal of happiness for me as she stood by as well. I was zeroed in on Peeta and his bliss covered face that filled me with so much happiness and contentment that I thought I would pass out.

He was wearing a white tux trimmed in gold. His blond hair was bright in the warm sun. We decided to get married in District 4 on a beach. It was during the Quarter Quell when Peeta and I were wrapped in each other's arms on the beach that I realized I would never love anyone but him. I told him this during one of our long conversations we had laying in one another's arms in his bed in District 13. He was elated and so was I. I also wanted to get married on the beach because the Ocean waves were exactly the same color as Peeta's deep, penetrating eyes.

I felt so content, free, and happy on the beach. The wind blew through my hair and whistled quietly. I had left my hair free to hang down my back in soft waves. I knew Peeta liked it best when it was down so he could run his fingers through it. My dress was strapless and flowed down my body with only a little flare. However, the entire dress was covered in gold glitter and the sun reflected in back making my skin look tan and healthy. Cinna had also sprayed some type of gold glitter in my hair and it sparkled in the sun.

Peeta was looking at me with such intensity such love. When I finally reached him at the end of the aisle, Haymitch placed my hand in Peeta's and he took it eagerly. He pulled me close to him and kissed me softly on the lips while the minister scolded us for not waiting until we were finished with the vows. The audience laughed lightly, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Peeta's long enough to take in anything else.

When it came time for our vows, Peeta turned away for a moment to get the ring from Finnick. I loved the ring he gave me so much with the pearl and when I saw the ring he was slipping on my finger to accompany my already perfect engagement ring I gasped. It was white gold and little diamonds twinkled in the sunlight. He grinned at my stunned expression to show me that he still had a few surprises in store for me.

"Katniss, I love you more than my own life. We have been through so much together. We have emerged victorious together. No matter what we face in this life, I will be forever by your side. I knew from the first moment I heard you sing when we were young that I was a goner…that you were the girl for me. When my name was called on reaping day, I felt the odds were in my favor. I just wanted to know you. I wanted to protect you, save you. I have always wanted you to be safe and happy. When I found out in the Quarter Quell, that you were trying to sacrifice your life to save me I hoped that you felt the same way about me. That night on the beach when our love became real to you, is cemented in my mind. When you were taken from me, I thought my heart would explode. I got a taste of life without you and I knew that I couldn't ever live that way. You are my love, my life. I am going to spend every moment of forever with you and love you with every fiber in my body. I love you, Katniss Everdeen and I always will."

He slipped the ring on my finger and the tears coursed down my cheeks silently. He reached out and wiped them away. I turned to get his ring from Prim and then I began my own vows.

"Peeta, you have been my rock throughout the worst times in my life. You always put me above yourself. I didn't really know you, not really, and you saved my life. You threw me that bread and everything changed for me. You became my hope. You gave me hope…you were like a dandelion in the spring. You taught me that love can be limitless. I love you that way. I could never love anyone the way that I love you. In the cave, I got a taste of what life could be like without you when you were so sick. In the Quarter Quell, when you stopped breathing I knew that I wouldn't be able to survive without you. Being reunited with you after being a prisoner….you never gave up on me even when I was such a terrible version of myself. You showed me what true love really is. I want that forever with you. You are my always. My forever. I just want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you. I love you, more than my own life. Always."

He smiled at me and I saw the tears in his own eyes so I mimicked his reactions and wiped away his tears gently with my hand. He was the most amazing man. I loved him…God I loved him.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride."

Peeta leans in eagerly and captures my lips in a sweet kiss. It is a kiss filled with longing and desire. It is a kiss that holds the promise of our future together. After a minute, we break apart and he grasped my hand tightly in his own as we turn to face the crowd.

"I would like to introduce to you for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Peeta Mellark."

Applause erupts all around us and Finnick races forward to hug us both. Prim starts hugging me as well and then I see Gale. I see he is happy for me as he wraps me in a comforting hug.

"I am happy for you, Katniss. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

"Thank you, Gale. I wish the same to you." I know that we will always be friends that things are the way they were always meant to be between us. He was my best friend and that would never change.

**PEETA'S POV**

Katniss was the most beautiful bride in the history of the world. She had been a vision walking towards me her eye contact never wavering from mine. Our wedding was a dream. A perfect dream. I love her more than my own life. I was now joined for all eternity to the other half of my soul. My wife…Katniss was my wife. Elation. Joy. Happiness. Incredulity.

Our vows were pure and heartfelt. Her vows touched me in a way that I had never been touched before. I felt so vulnerable to her and I felt her vulnerability in her vows to me as well.

Our first kiss as husband and wife could not have been more perfect…more real.

After we were forced into hundreds of pictures, Cinna gave me the documents I had requested. I had been plotting our honeymoon together. I wanted to surprise Katniss.

I knew that Katniss would not want to go back to live in District 12, but I also knew that she would want to return someday. I wanted Katniss to love her new home and all the surroundings. I was beyond excited for her to see our new home.

"I have a surprise for you." I told her as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my arms for our first dance as husband and wife. We held each other close and she leaned her head against my shoulder in contentment.

"What is it?"

"We will be leaving shortly and you will see very soon. I promise."

After we told everyone goodbye we stole away after Cinna gave us a hug goodbye. We caught the train and it stopped just outside of District 4. I had asked Cinna to help me find the perfect place. I didn't know if such a place was possible, but I wanted it to be possible for her.

We got off the train and after unloading our baggage the porter got back on the train and it sped away. Katniss was looking at me in confusion.

"Where are we?"

I smile and grasp her hand tightly in mine and lead her forward. "You will soon see." I was beyond giddy with excitement. In front of us, all you could see were the woods. The thick woods were no doubt teeming with wildlife for Katniss to hunt. There was a stream in the middle of the thicket. We walked through slowly and then we reached the other side to the sound of the ocean surrounding us. Nestled just at the edge of the woods was a magnificent home.

"Peeta? What is…?"

"It's our new home Katniss. We are just outside of four so we are close to Finnick and Annie. We are also going to be close to your mom, Prim, and Cinna who will all be residing in the Capitol. We are right by the woods but also on the beach. The house is three bedrooms and two bathrooms…if you don't like it…"

Katniss interrupted my rambling to kiss me passionately. "I love it." She said when she could tear herself away.

Before we entered the house I carried her over the threshold and into the house. She wrapped her arms securely around my neck. The house was gorgeous. Cinna had spared no expensive and Effie had seen to the decorating for us. The colors were muted and not outlandish like the past Capitol fashions.

"So, what do you think?"

"I think the only thing I want to see right now is the master bedroom, Mr. Mellark."

She grabs me by the shirt and yanks me forward.

"Your wish is my command, Mrs. Mellark."

I had never felt such happiness and such peace in my entire life. Six months after we were married, Katniss found out she was pregnant. It was a precious gift, one that the Capitol was sure it robbed us of. We were going to have a baby together. A beautiful baby. My love for my fantastic wife only blossomed even more as I watch her belly grow round over the months with our child. Finnick and Annie were also expecting as well. Our children would grow up together in a world where there wasn't terror awaiting our children in a reaping every year. Our children would be safe and loved. Protected by the new government, especially their adoring grandfathers Haymitch and Cinna. There are those that say things will never change. I disagree. Things do change. People change. All I have to do is look in the eyes of my newborn daughter, see my wife's triumphant smile, or remember our vows to one another and I know that we live in a better world than we used to live in. We are all at peace. Tranquility surrounds us on all sides. The war mongering has ended and left immense relief floating in the wind.

Katniss will sometimes have an episode…it reminds us of the evil that was once our world. I hold her close to me and reassure her until it passes and then we are hit again by the enormous happiness and generous blessings that have been bestowed on us. We were not just pieces in anyone's games. We were going to live life on our terms and be ourselves. It is all we have ever wanted…the freedom to make our own choices.

I have so much passion for my wife. I can never get enough of her soft skin, adoring kisses, and gentle touches. She loves me. She really loves me. I never thought I would get to spend forever in her arms enjoying her touch. She is the best part of me. Our beautiful daughter, Johanna, reminds me so much of her mother. They are both the most stubborn and amazing women in the world.

At the age of four, Johanna already has little Finn (Annie and Finnick's son) wrapped around her little finger. I see so much promise for our future as I behold our children. This life was worth fighting for. If I had to go through all of it again to end up in this moment right here right now and live in it forever, I would not hesitate. I would welcome the past in order to have this incredible future. Life is what I had always wished for. I want for nothing. I have everything I have ever wanted. Never give up love is worth fighting for; your soul mate is worth any torment or any hell. Trust me, I know. 

**I hope that you all loved my story. I wanted it to have a happy ending. Thank you so much for all who are following and reviewing my story! This is the last chapter unless someone can convince me to go further, but I really think this is a good stopping point and I have other stories I am anxious to start writing. **

**I am still writing "The Arrangement" which is about an arranged marriage between Katniss and Peeta. Peeta has been in love with Katniss his whole life and it is a story of how they fall in love. I hope if you haven't already done so that you will check it out. **

**I am also going to be posting a new story about Katniss and Peeta called "Starcrossed." The time period is going to be a little different. It is going to take place in the 1800's and Katniss and Peeta are both being forced to marry people they don't love. They are falling in love with one another and they are trapped by their circumstances. What will they do? Will they marry the people they don't love? Will the run-away together to begin anew? Will they marry those they don't love but then still see one another? I know it is similar in some respects to my "Arrangement" story but I have flipped things a lot. I have already written the first three chapters. I want to post the first one tonight or tomorrow. So, if interested please check it out or let me know by reviewing!**

**Please review and let me know what you thought of Lost in a Haze. It is the first fanfiction I have ever written, and I want to know if you all liked it or not. **

**THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS, SUPPORT, AND FEEDBACK. YOU ARE WONDERFUL! I AM EXCITED TO WRITE MANY MORE STORIES THAT YOU WILL REVIEW! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!**


	46. Chapter 46

Okay. I have had so many people say how much they loved my story. I was thinking about writing an epilogue about the future and the many challenges they face. Would that be something you would like me to include at the end of this story or should I be done? Your input means so much to me! I want to make sure it is what everyone wants. If I get enough reviews saying they would like it to happen, then I will do it!


	47. Chapter 47

Thank you so much for the reviews and opinions on this story. I loved writing it so much. I was going to try and write an epilogue about the story because I did not want it to end. However, I am not going to do that. What I have written is not worthy of the story. I think the story ended well with Peeta and Katniss so happy and in love with a baby.

I don't want to write an epilogue just for the sake of writing one. I hope you are all happy with the end of my story. I love reading all the reviews! I will try to respond to some of you this weekend. It has been one crazy week.

I appreciate all the love and support. If you have not already done so, please review and tell me your thoughts on my story. I would really appreciate it.

Thank you so much everyone!


	48. Chapter 48

Dear Readers,

I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed this story and followed it! I loved writing it! I am writing two additional Hunger Games stories right now and then when I finish those I have two other Hunger Games story ideas I would like to write about. I love writing about _The Hunger Games_. It is an amazing series and I adore the characters.

Thank you for making my first ever fanfiction a success in my opinion. I hope that some of you that did not review after reading the last chapter will review now. I would like to end the story with over 500 reviews. If you would like me to write more Hunger Games fanfiction after I complete "The Arrangement" and "Star-Crossed" please let me know. I want to please my readers.

I had many anonymous reviews that I cannot respond to so I thought I would take the time to write this to all my reviewers. Thank you so much for your feedback and support. You are all so wonderful and I appreciate you all so much! Bless you all!

Until next time,

Bookworm 722


	49. Chapter 49

Dear Readers,

I wanted to thank all of those who reviewed as guests! I cannot personal message you so I wanted to say my thank you here. Also, I wanted to let you know that I just published the first chapter of my new Hunger Games story. I hope you all will like it! I really appreciate all your love and support!

My new story is called "The Journey." I have written a brief description for you below. I hope you check it out.

Sincerely,

Bookworm 722

"**The Journey" Story Description: **VERY AU! Takes place in current society. Katniss, Johanna, Annie, Gale, Finnick, and Peeta all went to the same high school. The summer after graduation they decide to take a road trip across the country. It starts in Pennsylvania and ends in sunny California. What relationships will develop? What secrets will be revealed? What lies will be told? Anything can happen…anything.


	50. Chapter 50

Thank you to all of you who have read and reviewed my story recently. I am currently working on a new Hunger Games story and I am really excited about it. Please add me to your list of followed authors. The new story will be up soon and it will be something rather different.

Thanks again for all your support!

Bookworm722


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